Friday, January 4, 2013

Sad End to a Disappointing Year

When the time came to write our 2012 Christmas newsletter, I found I didn’t have much to say. The year did get off to a rocky start with a migraine, a severe icestorm and a bad cold. In some respects it was downhill from there. Didn’t go on any trips, STILL didn’t lose weight, changed churches a few times again (and now yet AGAIN since my last post!), and came home most every weekday from the same job with “brain overload”. As for the “furkids”, Jesse and Archie came through their respective medical issues very well, while Susie has mysteriously decided she is my husband’s dog and wants little to do with me. We lost one guinea pig, Pinky, at about age 7, but the other three piggies were thriving…or so it appeared…

On Sun., Dec. 30th, I was hanging out at home after church. Nothing out of the ordinary, till bedtime (by which time it was after midnight and became the 31st). As usual, hubby got out some veggies and hay as treats for our three sweet guinea pigs. He approached Connor’s cage, paused, looked under Connor’s igloo, paused again. I thought, why is he doing that? What could be wrong? Connor is the liveliest, most active and seemingly happy and healthy piggie we ever had. At the age of about 5, of course we would be enjoying the little cutie’s antics for at least two more years. Then came two words from my husband I still can’t believe he had to utter: “He’s dead.”

All I could say (yell?) was, “WHAT???? NO!!!!!! HOW?????” Of course, hubby didn’t know. So ended 2012 with a thud, with a heartbreaking and totally unexpected development, and so began 2013 with numbness. A second year in a row beginning in a lousy fashion, even more so than the last. The year is young and I keep telling myself, it will get better. But I can’t stop asking God – WHY did You take Connor from us, prematurely and with NO warning??? If You wanted to punish and hurt me for whatever reason, You have succeeded. But couldn’t You have found some other way?

We’ve had 17 piggies since 2000, and most of them have been wonderful and captured my heart to one degree or another. But Connor topped them all with his great personality and unique quirks. I come into the great room each day fully expecting to see him jog in circles around his igloo, then knock over the igloo several times in a row due to his degree of activity. Each time I went to his cage to set the igloo upright, he would come to the cage door on his hind legs to be petted and fussed on. He was also the only one who “sang” (squeaked very softly) when I held him, though oddly enough, our two remaining piggies, Patches and Pudding, are doing that now too. (I told them, “Connor must have taught you that.”)

He was fairly plain in appearance compared to many of our other piggies, just a beige shorthair with pink eyes. But he endeared himself to me more than any of the others….and now, just like that, he’s gone. It still doesn’t seem real. The only more shocking pet loss I experienced was when our darling dog Gus suddenly had a stroke and died a few hours later at age 7. Even our beloved dog Heidi, at least with her, we got a few days warning, and she had a fairly normal lifespan for a giant dog. Our pets are our “kids” and any time we lose one, it hurts. But some hurt worse than others. I have to say this loss is right up there with Gus and Heidi….I asked God the next night to PLEASE protect our remaining pets in 2013. But sometimes I wonder if He hears me and/or if he cares. Sweet Jesse seemed to sense something was wrong and spent extra time laying by my chair the past several nights. He did the same thing when Heidi passed. I pray God has mercy and lets us keep Jesse at least a couple more years…

Then, like the icing on a poisoned cake, I got on the scale New Year’s Day morning and saw a figure I’d begged God to never let me see again. It was “only” 6/10th of a pound more than the scale read on New Year’s morning 2012. But it put me just over that dreaded number. I do have special incentive more than ever to lose the weight by my next birthday in Sept. I’m going on a special vacation I hadn’t planned to, but it felt so right in every way that I had to sign up. More on that when it gets closer.

I’ll update my crochet blog soon. I finished the Amaryllis tablecloth, made several small angel doilies for Christmas gifts, and am now working on another of my fancy Barbies. I went through my many crochet patterns a couple weeks ago and put some on Listia, to get points for more Amazon gift cards. As for the ongoing church saga, I’ll wait to say any more on that till the dust settles. So 2013 begins without my all-time favorite piggie and my faith shaken once again. I miss him SO much. Things HAVE to get better from here (don’t they?).