Monday, September 5, 2011

Harry, Susie, Birthdays and Continued Battles

I just updated my crochet blog ( yesterday with my latest projects and also wanted to be sure to update this one before my 3-day weekend is over. It's my birthday tomorrow so it's a major bummer that I have to go back to work tomorrow. But at least it will be a short work week. I took this coming Friday and the following Monday as days off, since Dianne suggested we go to the Puyallup Fair on its opening day (Fri.) for free attendance with a can of food.

It's already been a month since one of our favorite little guinea pigs, Harry, passed away. We were blessed to have him almost 5 years. I did update my "furballs3" page at (the page on my site that's dedicated to the many piggies we've had) the day it happened. Little Harry had to be the prettiest piggie we've had -- he had silky long hair and was tri-tone -- white, black and brown, and he was very sweet. Now we just have four piggies left -- Pinky, Connor, Patches and Pudding -- and Pinky is getting up there in age; we actually got him (or her; we've never been 100% sure) shortly before Harry. The other three boys are still fairly young and doing well so God willing, we'll get to keep enjoying them for several more years.

Our other critters are also doing well, though our precious Susie has some sort of kidney issue. She has continued to be her frisky, happy self so we are praying it's something that can be easily controlled with medication. Rex just brought in another urine sample last week that apparently had to be sent to some out-of-town lab, so we're waiting to hear....Sweet Susie will turn 3 years old next Sat. the 10th, so I want to wish her a happy and healthy early birthday!

Other than that, life has continued to go on the way it always seems to: stay up too late due to insomnia and my "owl" nature, get up most days needing at least 2 more hours sleep, sit in an office for 8 hours experiencing brain overload and wishing I was elsewhere, go home, watch TV, crochet unless I'm too tired to even do that, stay up too late and do it all over again. Yeah, I'm glad to have a job when thousands of others need one, but I'm SO tired of being tired. I know I would feel much less tired and have tons more self-esteem if I ever lost these 50 pounds, but I lose a few and fall back into the same routine of not exercising because I'm tired and overeating carbs for comfort and because I would feel deprived without them.

Spirtually, I blame God for even the tiniest irritation, then feel forgotten by Him because He is not helping me with my weight and it's related symptoms (insomnia, headaches, and a faulty bladder and digestive system). Then each Sun., I go to my vibrant church and feel cared for yet unworthy to be around the others, who all appear to genuinely love God and are blessed by Him. I got my driver's license renewed on Friday and was totally taken aback to how droopy and tired my eyes looked and how fat my face looked. I pray with all my heart to somehow be able to have my next (2016) driver's license picture look a lot more like the 2006 one (which was really the only good d.l. pic I ever had) than the 2011 one. I plan to go to our church's ladies retreat the weekend of Oct. 7-9, so hopefully that will help me turn these issues around if I haven't by then.

I've had it with feeling and looking fat and sluggish day after day, month after month, and feeling so disconnected from this God I'm told loves me. Yet I am also very much aware that this Sunday marks the 10th anniversary of 9/11/01 and the horror that day brought to thousands of innocent people. It makes my everyday irritations totally pale by comparison and makes me feel guilty that my small problems get to me so badly....and yet they do. God, PLEASE change my heart....