Slow Start to the Year But It WILL Get Better...

I was rereading my last post and didn't realize at the time how whiney it sounded, yuk. But I was SO frustrated at the time at having to retype everything. And I again didn't intend for it to be this long between posts. I'm thankful my two least favorite months of any year are again (almost) over and that the days are getting longer. I will again start my regular walks next work week from the park n'ride to the ferry, and back again in the evening. It is actually light enough out to be doing it now. But after not being able to do the walks since the end of Oct. due to the darkness, am needing to get back into it gradually. I did do the walk to my car Friday evening instead of taking the bus, and I took a 5-mile walk last Saturday and the Saturday before. I have gotten on the stepper most weekday mornings for at least 10 minutes on the days that it has been too cold out to walk (which, in Feb., has been most every day). I also have continued to snack on carbs and as a result have lost no more weight since Nov. To say this is discouraging is a gross understatement. I have truly believed with all my heart and soul that I WOULD lose the weight once and for all in the first half of this year. In fact, if I had continued my slow but steady progress of last Aug. through Nov., I could have had the weight OFF by our anniversary/hubby's birthday in April. Instead, I have snacked on peanut butter and crackers, or pretzels, or gotten up in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep (which I still can't most nights...) and snack on an English muffin, crackers, or whatever carb is handy and would satisfy my craving, and hopefully get my digestive system to work and make me sleepy. This usually does work - eventually - but it shouldn't take a mostly healthy person hours to get to sleep and usually have to resort to a snack to do it.

I had decided a couple weeks ago that though TOPS got me jump-started, the total lack of progress in the last few months (some say maintenance is OK, but not when you absolutely planned to lose all the dang weight in the next several months and instead keep sabotaging yourself) caused me to decide to discontinue TOPS again, or at least take an extended break from it. But I got a letter today from one of the ladies urging me to come back. So I guess I will think about it. If it was easy, there would not be millions of overweight people, and there would not be a need for support organizations such as TOPS. Now that the weather is getting milder and the days are longer, I SHOULD start seeing some progress before long, provided I can start leaving the dang carbs alone. But I am just SO, SO disappointed and disgusted with myself for letting the ball drop YET AGAIN.................

My job continues to make me feel like the guy (gal) who got on their horse and rode off in all directions. I like being busy but am constantly shifting gears, constantly, every day, every few minutes, and generally leave mentally exhausted. I don't doubt this contributes to the tendency to want to relieve tension by snacking. But in the long run, the snacking has the opposite effect, and I KNOW that, yet I've done it anyway. Well, yesterday after work I went to Fred Meyer, and while I bought and ate a whole bag of my favorite snack addiction, and got the headache I knew would follow, I also bought herbal tea instead of more cappuccino mix, and bought no sour cream to make dip, and also bought several boxes of chopped spinach (which I LOVE) to eat with fish sticks. So it was like one final fling with my addiction combined with a resolve to (AGAIN) turn things around.

I finished the long filet and spiderweb table runner with a swan on each end, using the #10 light green Opera thread, and it turned out very nice. I decided to use it on the long coffee table in the living room and instead use the "Midnight Star" light green runner on my dresser, which it fits perfectly on. I made a couple more scarves and hats (for charity or exchanges) with the rose Wool-Ease I got from eBay and am now working on the last one of those. I also completed a beaded doily using sage #10 Opera thread (the pattern is Shimmering Pineapple Doily which is available at freepatterns.com) and decided to make an additional one for a future exchange using hunter #10 Opera, as I still had hundreds of the variegated green/blue/purple beads left and knew they would look equally good on the hunter. I think there are still enough of the beads left for one more of these doilies, but will take a break from making them for now. I still want to make at least one Barbie gown soon, and then I may go back to making a couple of afghans.

I also participated in a couple of online exchanges in the past few weeks -- and am still shocked that I was stiffed on both. One was a hat/scarf swap from the Crochetmania message board and one from a Yahoo list that mainly consisted of dishcloth knitters, since at the time I thought I would again try once more to knit (it had been around 20 years since my only other try, but I soon remembered why I didn't pursue it -- I realized crochet is my passion and I wouldn't like to knit even if I could learn it). The aforementioned Yahoo list was deleted by its owner with no warning, which was a shame that many nice people were penalized for the action (lack of action) of a few. In both cases, I sent my partner a very nice item (plus some extras for the dishcloth exchange) and not only received nothing in return but not even so much as a thank you or even an "I received it" even though I know they did, since I requested delivery confirmation. It really hurts that someone would do that when I put my heart into what I made these two women. I feel tempted to post their names here but I won't, and I will try again to join exchanges since I like to share items I create with others. But it would be nice to know ahead of time that I was being paired with someone who would at least show appreciation for the time, care and postage I spent to make something especially for them........

The last bit of news is that for whoever reads this, please send up prayers and/or good thoughts for my sister-in-law Valerie in Kentucky (hubby's sister) who had a triple bypass a couple weeks ago, that she will recover fully and be better than new. We have kept in touch over the years via E-mail and she is very dear to me. Hubby's other sister has shut all three of us out of her life, but Val makes up for the thoughtlessness of the other one. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but it's how I feel. Also please pray my Aunt Bernice in Chicago is OK. She is up in years now and I haven't heard from her (or my cousin, her daughter) for a long time. Well, it's "only" 11:10, which to this nightowl is not late, so maybe I will think about going to bed at a reasonable hour tonight (or maybe not!).