The Evergreen Refuge Blog

Icestorm 2012 and Other Obstacles

2012-01-29T19:43:00.000-08:00

As often seems to be the case, January 2012 has been a weird month. Nothing really horrible happened (though that was not the case for other area people, mainly due to the weather). But it's been just annoying and cruddy enough to disrupt my usual routine and cause me to again say, "Good riddance!" I again had such high hopes of turning over a new leaf on certain bad habits from the very beginning of the year (such as staying up too late and overeating), and I've NOT given up those hopes. Not by a longshot -- I am probably even more determined now. But January, with its short, wet, windy, cold, dark days, does not provide the most conducive environment for being successful in turning such habits around. I have to believe that January must be everyone's least favorite month (at least those of us in the Western Hemisphere). It's a good thing it comes first so that we all can get it over with and move on to longer, milder days.

I already got my first major migraine of the year (the kind that force taking a sick day) the evening of January 4th and into the 5th. That was fast. I probably asked for it, since I had a fling on New Year's Eve with a certain food that I know gives me migraines if I overeat it. I only had maybe 2/3rds the usual pigout portion, but it was enough. It really does somewhat kill one's desire to eat that food, no matter how good it may taste going down. I'm finding alternatives I like almost as much that don't do that to me.

Then, after a mild winter we all hoped would continue, this area got socked but good with what has been called Icestorm 2012 -- or Icemageddon! It started slowly with an inch or so of snow in the wee hours of Sun. the 15th -- just enough to where hubby recommmended I not try to drive to church in my 24-year-old, rear wheel drive Mercedes. He drove me to the ferry dock and back the next two days so that I could get to work and get back home. Then, the night of Tues. the 17th into the next day, we got at least 6 inches (and many parts of the Metro area got much more -- thankfully, rare for western Wash.) With the hills here, even 6 inches make it pretty impossible to get around, even in a Jeep. So I got snow days off work the next two days. I liked that part, though I now only have 3 more vaca days till they replenish in May. He was able to get me to the dock and back again on Friday -- and the bosses were impressed that I made it in when most of the staff who live in the same town as my office didn't.

By now, the snow was gradually (VERY gradually) melting during the day when it got into the 40s. But this led to a whole new problem when the roads would refreeze into smooth sheets of ice overnight. My church's annual chili cookoff, which was to have been held that Friday the 20th, was postponed one week, and Dianne and I mutually agreed it would be best to wait a week for me to drive the 38 or so miles to visit her, even if I could have gotten my car out (which, however, was still encrusted in ice). Hubby did not have to work the following Sun. the 23rd (rare), so we got to go to church in his Jeep -- where I got a taste of what I was about to experience the next morning. Though they had apparently spread salt, the parking lot was still very icy and treacherous to try to walk on.

Hubby still had to take me to the dock and back for work till this past Thurs. -- that's how long the snow and ice finally took to melt. That Monday was the worst of the icy roads. There were several bad traffic accidents from the black ice on the roads, and when I got off the bus to walk the 3 blocks to my office -- wearing my so-called traction soled shoe boots -- I may as well have been wearing ballet slippers for the total lack of traction I was able to get! After trying it for 1/2 block, I realized if I was going to get to the office without falling (several time), I would have to flag down a car and have them take me the remaining 2-1/2 blocks -- which I did. Thankfully, it stayed above freezing the next night, so that was the only day I had to go through that.

Even though the weather was much better by yesterday, Dianne and I were stressed from dealing with the elements the past week and a half and decided to wait one more week to get together. I looked forward to attending the chili cookoff, since one year ago, that was when I met several wonderful people at church and decided I may need to give this church (which was much more contemporary than I was seeking) another look. I also planned to take a run over to Dollar Tree, and of course, to church today. Instead, I was inside AGAIN the entire weekend. When I got to the park n'ride on Friday, I was surprised to see"Bianca's" (my car) left parking light on -- just the one side light -- as I distinctly remembered turning her lights off that morning. I got a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach what this would mean when I got in to start her up -- and sure enough.....nothing. No Good Samaritans were around to help me; they were all concentrating on one thing and that was going home. So I called hubby at work, waited 1/2 hour while realizing I would either not get to the cookoff or be very late....and he could not start her with his jumper cables. So.....he called AAA. Another half-hour waiting for them. The man examined her and said it WAS her battery; he did get her started with his truck but recommended I not drive her beyond the three miles home till the battery is replaced. Hubby had to work all weekend (as usual) and had no chance to get a battery, so no DollarTree and no church today. So....like I said, nothing tragic but just stressful enough to make me feel like doing not a whole lot at home besides crocheting in front of the tv. (And I did get my crochet blog, teri360.blogspot.com, updated today also with my latest creations.) At least my fingers are getting exercise!

The pooches and other critters are doing OK. Jesse is hanging in there well after the traumatic experience of our having to have his eye removed late last year. I vowed at the beginning of this year that as much as I long to travel this year (with my Portland/Salem trip being ruined last June by a migraine), I would instead concentrate this year on getting healthier, exercising, eating less, and paying down credit card debt instead of adding even more to it with train or plane and hotel bills. I still absolutely have this game plan but like I said, January does not lend itself well to health decisions -- especially the January that included Icestorm 2012!

A (Mostly) Uneventful Year

2011-12-27T23:45:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize it had been this long since I made an entry in this blog. I always heard that time goes by faster the older you get, and it's true. It feels like only a couple of months ago that this year was new and I was still trying to absorb the shock that my Aunt Bernice, who I spent so many enjoyable hours with for most of my life, had passed away several weeks before and I was never told anything until a couple of scribbled lines on a Christmas card from a cousin who (I thought) knew what she meant to me...and the shock of losing my friend Sandi who was so instrumental in bringing hubby and I together...and the shock of losing our friends Mike and Al, all way too young (55, 61 and 56 respectively). Then there was a BIG situation hubby and I were still going through (finance-oriented) that was not resolved till this year and that I hope I/we never go through again. While digesting all of this and hoping this year would be better, January (mostly was). My cousin's dear daughter Janet and my LONG-time pen pal Ellayne (who I wrote to on and off since we were 15 and 16) found me on Facebook. It has been so awesome getting reacquainted with them. And that same month, I went to the annual Chili Cookoff at First Christian Church (not even being sure why, since it was SO different from the traditional liturgical type of church I was sure I was seeking) and that night, Jill, Mary Ann, Becky and Sharon found me. I gradually came to realize, to my shock after a year and a half of searching in vain, that THIS was the church where I was meant to be. So that was a big part of my life that was finally settled (even though a BIG part of me still feels unworthy to be considered part of a place with SUCH Godly, loving people).

The next noteworthy occurrences of the year were downers. Only a few weeks before we found each other again, my good friend Ellayne was stunned by the sudden loss of her husband, who was my age. Yet another somber reminder of the brevity and uncertainty of life. My dear friend Dianne's beloved dad Hal died in April at age 89 -- and I was crushed to not be able to attend his memorial service due to a severe migraine. In May, our darling "secret" dog Zane, a beautiful purebred collie who had lived in our yard with his two sisters since Dec. '09, suddenly died at the young age of 7. And my anticipated three-day trip to Portland and Salem (and potentially Eugene, but I didn't make it that far) in June was ruined by another severe migraine.

The next few months were pretty uneventful -- work most every weekday, stay up too late on weekends, crochet every chance I get, see Dianne every few weeks, try to get to church and to my Tues. night Bible study every few weeks. Then in Oct. and Nov., our wonderful senior furballs Jesse and Archie had surgeries a few weeks apart. First, Jesse had a tumor removed from his eyelid. We were shocked to find out it was cancer,, but the vet was sure he got it all. Then Archie had a hematoma removed from his ear. Aside from the first night when he forced off the bandage and made a mess, he recovered well. But Jesse's left eye gradually started looking weird, to where it looked like a oval divided diagonally, half solid black and half solid pink. So earlier this month, back to the vet he went. We were beyond shocked to learn that the cancer was back and the vet felt that the surest way to keep the cancer from recurring again (though there was still no guarantee)...was to remove his left eye. This was stunning news, but we knew we had to do whatever we can to save our boy. So, on Dec. 14, he had the surgery. It went well....but over the next several days, Jesse scratched the area and removed the stitches. So on the 22nd, he had to go back for a THIRD operation. Now he has to wear one of those dang cones around his neck to keep him from scratching it. He doesn't like it and we don't either, but there is no choice. It's broken my heart that our poor baby has had to go through all this, and we can only pray that he heals completely now and that the cancer does NOT come back. So the year, that started out so well, has not ended all that well. But we are thankful to still have Jesse and Archie, and that Susie (who turned 3 in Sept. and still has not bonded with me after 2+ years, but I do love her) and our piggies (including Pinky, the senior) are doing well.

On Sat., Dec. 17, Dianne and I took a bus trip to Leavenworth (a/k/a America's Bavaria) for their annual tree lighting, which was her Christmas present to me. It was a memorable day in a beautiful setting, and on the trip back, on the bus they showed the movie "Miracle on 34th Street" (the original from '47) which, incredibly, I had never seen. I really enjoyed it, so much that I watched it again on TV on Christmas Day. Christmas itself was quiet as usual, with hubby having to work at the kennel. I intended to go to church on both Christmas Eve and Day, but he was too tired to go Christmas Eve after working all day, so I stayed home with him. I heard it was packed Christmas Eve and not so the next day, but still a nice service. I made cornish hens and the usual simple side dishes, finished the latest fancy pink thread baby dress, and just took it easy the next day, then back to work today (well, actually yesterday -- so what else is new; when am I NOT awake after midnight!).

I'll post my latest crochet projects to my crochet blog by the end of the year, and look forward to another long weekend before the long, dark month of January. Hopefully the coming year will be better for my friends who lost someone so dear to them, and our sweet doggies will hang in there also. I have another hope for 2012 that I won't go into just now, what with all the false starts and literally giving up that it will never happen. I DID give up, but hopefully not forever. And that's all I'll say about that for now, except that I can't do it without the divine intervention I feel has eluded me all these decades....

Harry, Susie, Birthdays and Continued Battles

2011-09-05T17:17:00.000-07:00

I just updated my crochet blog (teri360.blogspot.com) yesterday with my latest projects and also wanted to be sure to update this one before my 3-day weekend is over. It's my birthday tomorrow so it's a major bummer that I have to go back to work tomorrow. But at least it will be a short work week. I took this coming Friday and the following Monday as days off, since Dianne suggested we go to the Puyallup Fair on its opening day (Fri.) for free attendance with a can of food.

It's already been a month since one of our favorite little guinea pigs, Harry, passed away. We were blessed to have him almost 5 years. I did update my "furballs3" page at evergreenrefuge.org (the page on my site that's dedicated to the many piggies we've had) the day it happened. Little Harry had to be the prettiest piggie we've had -- he had silky long hair and was tri-tone -- white, black and brown, and he was very sweet. Now we just have four piggies left -- Pinky, Connor, Patches and Pudding -- and Pinky is getting up there in age; we actually got him (or her; we've never been 100% sure) shortly before Harry. The other three boys are still fairly young and doing well so God willing, we'll get to keep enjoying them for several more years.

Our other critters are also doing well, though our precious Susie has some sort of kidney issue. She has continued to be her frisky, happy self so we are praying it's something that can be easily controlled with medication. Rex just brought in another urine sample last week that apparently had to be sent to some out-of-town lab, so we're waiting to hear....Sweet Susie will turn 3 years old next Sat. the 10th, so I want to wish her a happy and healthy early birthday!

Other than that, life has continued to go on the way it always seems to: stay up too late due to insomnia and my "owl" nature, get up most days needing at least 2 more hours sleep, sit in an office for 8 hours experiencing brain overload and wishing I was elsewhere, go home, watch TV, crochet unless I'm too tired to even do that, stay up too late and do it all over again. Yeah, I'm glad to have a job when thousands of others need one, but I'm SO tired of being tired. I know I would feel much less tired and have tons more self-esteem if I ever lost these 50 pounds, but I lose a few and fall back into the same routine of not exercising because I'm tired and overeating carbs for comfort and because I would feel deprived without them.

Spirtually, I blame God for even the tiniest irritation, then feel forgotten by Him because He is not helping me with my weight and it's related symptoms (insomnia, headaches, and a faulty bladder and digestive system). Then each Sun., I go to my vibrant church and feel cared for yet unworthy to be around the others, who all appear to genuinely love God and are blessed by Him. I got my driver's license renewed on Friday and was totally taken aback to how droopy and tired my eyes looked and how fat my face looked. I pray with all my heart to somehow be able to have my next (2016) driver's license picture look a lot more like the 2006 one (which was really the only good d.l. pic I ever had) than the 2011 one. I plan to go to our church's ladies retreat the weekend of Oct. 7-9, so hopefully that will help me turn these issues around if I haven't by then.

I've had it with feeling and looking fat and sluggish day after day, month after month, and feeling so disconnected from this God I'm told loves me. Yet I am also very much aware that this Sunday marks the 10th anniversary of 9/11/01 and the horror that day brought to thousands of innocent people. It makes my everyday irritations totally pale by comparison and makes me feel guilty that my small problems get to me so badly....and yet they do. God, PLEASE change my heart....

Churches and Chairs

2011-07-04T01:12:00.000-07:00

A major unsettled area of my life these past few years has finally been settled -- not in the way I would have expected as recently as a couple months ago, but, in a "coming full circle" sort of way, I feel I'm where I'm supposed to be. I've gone back and forth countless times since 2008 (as many entries to this blog since then will attest) regarding where my church home would be. Hubby and I had been attending a small non-denominational church for several years, and while we were (and are) fond of the pastor and his wife and the other people there, the services were very simple (a few praise choruses, maybe a solo or ensemble, a few more choruses, a sermon and an ending chorus), I'd long felt something was missing. (In the meantime, hubby began working most every Sunday and was unable to attend with me.) Through E-mail conversations with my sister-in-law and a subsequent visit to a small traditional Lutheran church, I became convinced that what I was missing was the beauty and history of the liturgical style of service. I wondered if I would find it stuffy and cold, but the opposite was true. It truly ministered to me, and for the next several months, I was excited about going to church. I soon became aware of some policy issues of the church's governing body that I disagreed with, yet I proceeded to join the church in Feb. '09, but ended up leaving (along with many others) three months later.

Over the next couple years, I ended up going back to that church a few times (still having differences with the governing body but feeling unable to let go of that particular church). I attended a Presbyterian church and then a Methodist church regularly for some time and had attended the membership class for both, but didn't feel led to make that final step. I still felt convinced that I needed a liturgical service, but there are only a certain number of that type of church within a reasonable distance of where I live. At times I thought I would never find the right church for me, or that it simply didn't exist. I wanted so badly to resolve this situation and it was so frustrating to feel it just would not happen for me.

One day early this year, having returned once again to the Methodist church but again feeling it wasn't right, I searched online for what felt like the umpteenth time. There was a church called First Christian whose web site had caught my eye before. I could tell it was not a liturgical church, but I could also tell it seemed like an alive and vibrant place and had a lot of activities going on. I attended one Sunday and the people were so very welcoming but the service, as I suspected, was contemporary. But I thought, "I could go to some of their activities without attending the worship services".

Shortly thereafter, I decided it would be fun to attend their chili cookoff on a Friday evening. I made a few rounds sampling the chili and trying to decide which to vote for when four ladies invited me to sit with them. I lost track of time as these ladies proceeded to interact with me like we had always known each other. I had never experienced anything like this at any other church. As I left that evening, I was confused. Why did I feel drawn to this church and these people, when I wasn't looking for a contemporary church? Well, I'd need to attend other activities there while I continued to look for the right Sunday worship service -- because I wanted to see these ladies again. They actually seemed like people I could become friends with, something I'd been desperately missing. I have Dianne, but she's 35+ miles away and we only see each other every 4-6 weeks.

A few weeks after that, I began (and am still) attending a Bible study every Tuesday at the home of one of the ladies from the chili cookoff. This became such an anticipated weekly event (despite my thinking I did not want to go anywhere on a weekday evening after a long day at work) that, at first occasionally, then more often and finally every week, I began attending on Sundays also. I found I was getting more used to the contemporary services because of the love of God that was so evident everywhere at this church. To my astonishment, I decided a few weeks ago that THIS is where God was leading me as my church home, and I was officially welcomed as a member on June 26th. It IS very different from what I thought I was looking for, but I'm convinced it's the place I've been looking for all this time. As I mentioned on Facebook, I feel privileged to be there but also unworthy to be among such genuinely Godly people, and I pray more of what they have will rub off on me!

In the meantime, my dear friend Dianne has settled into her new smaller 1-story home in a gated 55+ community a couple miles from the home she'd lived in the past 11 years, and she and her 3 little dogs are really enjoying it. I went there to visit her a week ago Sat., the day before I joined First Christian. She knew her mom was looking for a recliner and phoned her to see if we could take her to ReclinerLand in Auburn to look for one and then go out to eat, and she agreed. I said, "I wish I could get a new recliner; mine broke a couple weeks ago!" I'd sat in, sometimes slept in and bounced around in the poor thing the past few years and it was getting pretty rickety. Then one weeknight, I went to push the footrest down and it didn't go down. I pushed harder and the right side came off! We have a spare recliner that was actually quite similar, so I figured that would now be my chair.

While Margaret and Dianne were looking at recliners, while having NO intention of buying myself a new one, I tried out some of the more affordable ones for future reference. I came to a $742 chair in a dusty medium gold fabric that was on clearance for $295. It was SO soft and comfy. As with my church, I felt drawn to it. It just felt SO right and though the color was not my first choice, it was neutral and I felt it would look good in our great room. I told myself, "I work hard and need a comfy place to relax when I'm home, and the price is right". After arguing with myself for 20-ish minutes while Margaret ordered her chair, I decided to buy the comfy gold chair. I thought my hubby would have a fit (since we had the spare recliner and also said he could fix the broken one), but to my surprise, he agreed it was a practical purchase and a good price! It was delivered this past Saturday and I'm enjoying hanging out in it this 3-day weekend. I'll post its picture here, but it looks nicer in person than in the pic. I love my chair!

Not a lot else is new. I completed the Barbie in the cream and burgundy striped gown (pic coming soon to my crochet blog at teri360.blogspot.com), and now my large glass cabinet where I display my Barbies is full. So I'll need to figure out a display method for a few more I plan to make. I'm currently working on a green shawl (same pattern as the peach one I made for one of the graduating senior girls at church) in sage (looks more like apple green) Simply Soft that I found for half price on my recent trip to Portland and Salem which turned out to be a disappointment (got lost a LOT despite multiple Google maps and was sick with another of my major migraines the entire third day). That was hard to take after having to postpone this trip last year, but joining my church and having my new chair has helped ease the pain. Well...as usual as this time of night, I'm not sleepy. Hopefully I will be soon, so I don't sleep away half of my very rare day off work. Happy Birthday, U.S.A.!

Goodbye, Secret Love

2011-05-12T00:34:00.000-07:00

Since New Year's Eve 2009, Rex and I have had three lovely collie dogs in our lives. These are really not dogs we adopted in the same sense of our current pet dogs Susie, Archie and Jesse, or our other past pet dogs chronicled in the Furballs section of evergreenrefuge.org. It was more like we became their caretakers when their original "mom" became terminally ill and their original "dad" could no longer care for them. This was not my idea, as we already had three dogs and had only adopted Susie three weeks before. But apparently, according to my husband, these folks could find no one else to take all three collies. (I found, and still find, this hard to believe. There are rescue organizations that would have be glad to have them. I think it was just that Rex wanted them. It was easy to see why; all three were so sweet and docile, and very beautiful.)

Though I didn't like the idea, and it has been strange to generally not be able to tell people about these lovely dogs (since technically, we are only supposed to have four dogs in this county), I grew fond of the collies, and they have literally been no trouble. All they ask is to have food and water brought to them each day, and to be together. I understood why their former "mom and dad" asked that they not be separated. The only issue has been that Zane, the lone male, who I believe was about 5-1/2 when he and his mates (Bella and Terra, age 4) came to stay in our yard, had an occasional seizure which seemed to be some form of canine epilepsy. He would be on his side for about 15-20 minutes and then would gradually get up and seem to be fine again.

Though all three collies are very pretty, Zane definitely had the classic Lassie look. He was the only one of the three who occasionally came inside. He spent the least time in the large doghouse Rex built, so he would often get wet in the frequent rain, and we would let him in for a few minutes and dry him off (just a few minutes, since he and the girls were never housebroken, as they had always lived outdoors). He seemed to be having seizures less often than he used to and seemed fine. At the age of not quite 7, he seemed to be in the prime of his doggie life, and we naturally assumed to have him and his sisters for several more years. But tonight, Rex saw Zane laying in the same position in the rain for quite some time. He went to check on Zane but he didn't respond. So Rex carried him inside on a board, dried him off and covered him. He never did stir from that position and died sometime tonight. This is so sad and unexpected; sort of like when our Gus suddenly died of a stroke at not quite age 7. We wonder if that's what happened to Zane. It's not the same devastation as when Gus, my indoor buddy, died. Zane lived outside and I didn't have that same bonding with him. But I wish I could have known Zane better. He was a wonderful dog and we will miss him very much. I think it will be harder on Rex since he spent more time with the collies than I did. Rex just had his appendix out three days ago, and though he is healing quickly and should be able to return to work soon, I know he was not planning to have to build a doggie coffin later today.

It's so hard sometimes for me to understand and accept many of the things God allows to happen -- and to not happen. I don't know why he took Zane and Gus at a relatively young age when they should have had several more happy years. Even more so for several of the human friends who passed on last year -- Sandi Lee, Al Haymaker, Mike Peterson. Then there was my having to miss Dianne's dad Hal's memorial service on Good Friday, after I rearranged my work schedule all week so that I could be there to support my friend and pay respect to her dear dad. Instead, I was hit with the mother of all migraines and was too sick to go anywhere that day. It really hurt me to miss Hal's service, and especially because, as I wrote in my last blog entry, I'd resolved to sacrifice and cut back on foods I craved and FINALLY lose the weight. I felt as though I was being punished for doing the right thing. As a result, I AGAIN gave up on this lofty goal and AGAIN resolved it will never happen, instead indulging in those foods I crave. I figured, if God isn't going to bless my efforts and instead shoot me down with a major migraine, then why deny myself? It will be quite some time, if ever, before I again muster the resolve to lose the weight. It's hard to have that resolve when God won't help me, as He knows I can't do it alone. I had decided it was too much with my work and church schedule to rejoin TOPS, but I know how to lose the weight on my own. I've done it before. I just don't feel inclined to keep trying when my efforts keep getting shot down.

I'm still attending the contemporary church I described last time and still struggling with how contemporary the services are compared to what I'd grown used to the past few years. But the place is so alive and vibrant, that I can only hope the love of God shown by the people there rubs off on me. Though it's not what I thought I was looking for in a church, it's what I need at this time, and who knows, maybe for the long haul!

Losses and New Beginnings -- continued

2011-04-18T00:23:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize I hadn't posted to this blog since January 1st. I guess I was concentrating more on my new crochet blog (teri360.blogspot.com), even though I've only posted once to that one in 2011 so far. Soon I'll be adding another entry there with the latest few Barbie (and Skipper) gowns I''ve crocheted.

Spring finally arrived a few weeks ago, and was most welcome despite chiller-than-usual temperatures. I always enjoy the later sunsets and longer days. The weeks continue to rush by, with too much time needing to be spent at my demanding but necessary full-time job and never enough of the leisure time I treasure. Even though it seems I'm seldom able to take any days off work, I'm now out of vacation days till they're renewed in a few more weeks. Since I'll be at my present job 5 years as of May 15 (hard to believe), presumably I'll now finally get the long-awaited 3 weeks per year, so I can take a couple mini-vacations per year (funds permitting) and an occasional day at home to catch up on things or just hang out. Definitely looking forward to being able to do a bit more of that.

Sadly, I have another loss to report -- actually two. A few weeks after the thrill of my long-time pen pal Ellayne finding me on Facebook after many years, and the joy of learning she'd been happily remarried for the past 10 years, I was sad and shocked to learn of the sudden passing of her soulmate, who was my age. This was a terrible shock for my friend and she has been very much in my prayers. Just another solemn reminder that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.

Of all weekends for me to not check my E-mail till Sunday night, this weekend was not the one I should have delayed. When I finally got online a few hours ago, after a relaxing weekend of going through recipes, a long-overdue washing of my car "Bianca", and a nice Palm Sunday church service, I found my dear friend Dianne's daughter Lisa's Facebook message that her grandpa and Dianne's beloved dad, Hal, had passed away Friday night. Hal had gone into the hospital a couple of weeks ago following a heart attack and things looked dire, but from what Dianne said Monday when I last spoke with her, it looked like her dad was stabilizing and hanging in there. I was going to phone her this weekend but figured when I didn't hear, that the situation remained the same. Now I wish I had phoned. Hal was 89 and a devoted Christian, so Dianne can take comfort in that fact (I have no such assurance with either of my parents). But I know that this is still a painful ordeal for her. I will check in with her tomorrow and hope she will understand my not having done so earlier. Hal was a wonderful man who I had seen many times over the past 21 years that we've lived in Wash., and I too will miss him.

As for the new beginnings continuing, since 2009 it's seemed that every time I think I have my church situation figured out and have made a decision on which church I belong at and will join, something happens to change that. I went from the non-denominational church Rex and I attended for several years to the small Lutheran church I have many happy memories of and where I feel a piece of me still resides, to the Methodist church, back to the Lutheran church, back again to the Methodist church. I thought I finally settled on that Methodist church, and still, something was missing. I enjoyed the services, and doctrinally, I felt comfortable. I just felt I should have more of a sense of belonging and fitting in with the others after having attended for several months. I wasn't sure why, a few months ago, I felt led to visit another non-denominational church; I was sure it would be way too contemporary for me. But I felt led to attend nonetheless. The service was indeed very contemporary and not at all liturgical. This was NOT what I was looking for in a church service. At the same time it seemed like such an alive, joyful place that I felt drawn despite my resistance to the style of the worship service. I learned they were having a chili cookoff that Friday, and I thought that sounded like fun, and I wouldn't mind having some free delicious chili! So I went. I made the rounds a few times, sampling the various offerings, when four ladies invited me to join them at their table. For the next hour or so, I experienced more fellowship and friendship from these lovely ladies than I literally ever had at ANY church I had ever been to. This was the missing link at the other churches -- this could be the answer to the isolation and lack of friends I've felt, well, pretty much my whole life. But again, this was NOT the style of church I was looking for. So now what do I do?

Well, I learned that this church had several small groups starting in a few weeks. I thought, why can't I keep going to the Methodist church on Sunday but join one of the small groups from the contemporary church to fill my need for fellowship and friendship? So about 8 weeks ago, I started attending the small group on Tuesday evenings at Mary Ann's house. We have been studying the book, "God Will Make A Way: What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do" by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Mary Ann and Jill, two of the ladies who befriended me at the chili cookoff, are two of the members, in addition to several other wonderful people I'm feeling increasingly close to. It took a leap of faith to begin attending this group through a church that I was sure I had no intention of being part of, but I'm so glad I did. In the meantime I continued attending the Methodist church on Sundays, tried joining the choir, signed up for their monthly brunches, but still the unshakable feeling of not belonging continued. So.......for the past few weeks, I've been attending worship services on Sundays at the very same contemporary church that I felt was everything I was not looking for. I still struggle with the lack of any liturgical elements to the service and the emphasis on praise choruses that, to me, sound like someone made them up as they went along -- and yet, it appears God led me there. I have an appointment with the pastor this Thurs. after work, and hopefully he can help me resolve the reservations I have. Everyone I've met at this church loves God so much and is readily able to extend that love to someone like me who desperately needs to be more like Christ. So I think that's the kind of environment I need to be in, in spite of the service style.

The other new beginning is, after deciding a few weeks before that I was going to give up on the idea of ever losing the excess 50 pounds I've carted around for decades, it seems God has led me to try one more time. I can't even remember now who expressed the thought that changed my mind or if it was just that God put it in my mind. But it went something like, "You're thinking of food all wrong. The purpose of food is not to be a comfort or a stress reducer. The purpose of food is fuel for your body, PERIOD. If it tastes good and is enjoyable to eat, that's a bonus. But that is NOT the main purpose of food." Now, I've known this all along as well as I know my name. But when the thought came to me a few weeks ago, it was like something clicked and the next thought was "TOPS". I had attended weekly TOPS meetings (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) on two other occasions for several months and did make some progress, but quit after only losing 15-17 pounds each time. So I decided, I MUST have the in-person accountability. It's become clear I can't do this on my own. So I'll attend each week and not quit, and will either make steady progress or give up the whole dream once and for all -- but I can't let that be an option. This weight is making me sluggish, causing insomnia, headaches, and major lack of self-esteem, and will shorten my life. It HAS to go, and this is my last hope. The love I've experienced these past couple months from my new Christian friends is empowering me to become what God wants me to be. I started last Monday, getting off to a slow start (still too tired to exercise much), but God willing, in the long run, THIS time will be different.

Lost and Found.....and Another New Beginning

2011-01-01T17:29:00.001-08:00

Well, I made it to 2011. Several people I've deeply cared about did not. If I'd posted this last weekend like I planned to, I was going to call it "More Losses". That is true, as on December 20, I was stunned to learn of my biggest loss yet for the year. But since then, I've also made a couple of finds -- and am trying now to look ahead rather than behind.

After learning earlier in the year of the passing of our friend Al, then Rex's friend Dick from Chicago in Sept. (he was 69), and then the loss of our friends Sandi and Mike (see previous post), I prayed, PLEASE, God, no more losses. Yet, I knew there was one person I hadn't heard about for some time and didn't have good news about when I did hear earlier in the year -- my 85-year-old aunt in Chicago, whose home I spent many enjoyable visits at over the years, and who I had not seen since I was last able to visit Chicago in '98. Financial and job issues made it difficult to get back there again. Then I stopped even getting Christmas cards from her a few years ago, so I asked my cousin for periodic updates. The last I'd heard, she didn't even know my cousin (her daughter) any more. So of course, I've been concerned. But I figured that surely, if anything happened, she (or someone in Chicago) would notify me. Well, that notification came in the form of two scribbled lines on a Christmas card received on Dec. 20: "Mom died Nov. 12. It's been hard getting through the holidays".

Of course, when something like this happened, you blame yourself for not doing a better job of staying in touch, yet you also wonder how your relatives 2,000 miles away wouldn't have realized I never stopped caring about my aunt and why they wouldn't have thought to call, send a quick E-mail, a card in the mail -- SOMETHING -- when it happened, not two scribbled lines six weeks after the fact. I couldn't have afforded, or gotten time off work, to go to her funeral, but that's not the point. "Out of sight" does not mean "out of mind". I don't want to write much more about this, since it is still an upsetting situation and not the way I could have imagined things would end between me and someone I literally grew up with. Hopefully one day, I will see my aunt again and she will realize that.

Then the same evening I learned about my aunt, another of our sweet guinea pigs and one of my favorites, Joey, the black longhaired fellow who looked like a mop and was such a cutie, was dead in his cage. So now we are down to five piggies. Thankfully, so far, the other five, and our doggies and chickens, are doing well.

After that, finally, things began to look up a bit for the last 11 days of the year. Since my job is so busy and I haven't gotten much time off (that should finally change a bit after this May, when I should at last be eligible for 3 weeks vaca per year), I looked forward to the day and a half off for Christmas and the day and a half off for New Year's. It's been nice to hang out at home with the pets, do some crocheting and watch holiday programs and movies on the tv. On one of the figure skating specials, a Canadian program (including Kurt Browning, one of my all-time favorite skaters), much of the background music was provided by a country singer named George Canyon (ideal name for a country singer!). I knew I'd heard of him but wasn't sure why, but I was impressed enough by his voice and music (and looks!) that I left the program on the DVR to watch again, and went online to learn more. It was then I realized why I'd heard of him. He finished in 2nd place on the 2004 edition of "Nashville Star" (the former country version of "American Idol"), and I'd voted multiple times for him since I didn't care for the fellow who ended up winning. Why George didn't become a huge star in the U.S. as he did in Canada, I have no idea. Though I don't buy many CDs any more, I bought his current one off eBay, the rationale being that this is the only way I'll get to hear him, since his music is not played in the U.S. (which, again, is a mystery!).

The other highlight of the quiet Christmas weekend, besides giving Rex his present (a Gevalia programmable 12-cup coffee maker, which he seems to like), was that I finally got my "Comfort N'Joy" crochet blog online -- it's at teri360.blogspot.com and has been well-received by those who have visited it. I realized a couple years ago, when I had posted my 5th crochet page under my crochet section of my site, The Evergreen Refuge, that most crocheters and other crafters nowadays seem to be showing off and discussing their creations on a blog as opposed to multiple pages on a web site -- and besides, even if people do still visit my site, I don't know that they are going to all five pages (I may reverse the order of those pages so that my more recent items show up first), which is a shame. So -- The Evergreen Refuge Blog (this one) will now be pretty much a narrative of things that are going on with me, whereas the Comfort N'Joy crochet blog will be just that! I hope many people will bookmark it and visit regularly. I'll also eventually post pics of some of my earlier creations on Facebook, so that people who know me on there can see them.

And speaking of Facebook, four days ago came my biggest find of the year -- an even bigger find than NCIS, which has honestly become my all-time favorite TV show (and I thank God that Dianne's mom Margaret told me about it this past summer!). I was looking at my E-mail on my lunch break at work when I came across a Facebook friend request. As soon as I saw the name Ellayne, it was all I could do to not fall out of my chair. The last name had changed, but I knew who it had to be -- a lady who I had originally become penpals with MANY years ago when she was 15 and I was 16 (back in the days of snail mail; no one had heard of E-mail). We exchanged long letters for many years, eventually lost touch, re-established contact after Rex and I moved to Seattle (STILL before the days of E-mail) and lost touch again. I continued to keep many of her old letters all these years, thought of her often and often wished I could find her again. I even looked on Facebook, but didn't have her new last name. But mine was the same (and I had recently added my maiden name to help people find me), so she found me! I was SO thrilled to hear from her -- and I'm going to send her a long message later tonight. I hope we never lose touch again!!

So that was a delightful surprise to end the year. I've had another relaxing long weekend watching several good Bowl games (including the UW Huskies' big win in the Holiday Bowl over Nebraska -- YAY, Huskies!) and finishing some Christmas crocheting (we never did get our tree up, so that gave me something Christmasy to look at). It will be rough to get back to 5-day work weeks for awhile (at least for me; Rex's hours may go down somewhat again for the winter) but we are thankful to have our same jobs in this economy. As for resolutions, I don't really make them but I WILL strive to do a much better job of not letting relatively small annoyances irritate me, to go to bed earlier (by midnight) and be less sleep-deprived, and as for the weight loss thing -- OUCH -- I want it so badly but I just need to want it more than the instant gratification of overeating. We shall see....

Sandi and Mike

2010-12-12T13:11:00.001-08:00

It's always a shock to hear about someone who was a part of your life passing from this world when they are in your general age range. Even when it is someone you have not seen for many years and have mainly remained in touch with via an annual Christmas card, there are people who you hope and expect to receive those annual updates about for years to come....people who, when you think of them, you smile and remember how they touched your life, and you continue to wish only the best for them and wish that the miles didn't separate you; that you could somehow see them again. I blogged earlier this year about our friend Al Haymaker, our former assistant pastor turned police officer, who died in a car crash this past Feb. at age 56. I never would have imagined that when those annual Christmas cards began to arrive, two more of our cherished contemporaries would have joined him in heaven. Yet at the same time, I can't even explain why, but in both cases, when I got the cards, before I even opened the envelopes....I somehow knew.

Last Christmas, the annual card and newsletter from Mike and Debbie reported the shocking news that he was battling cancer. But we had not heard any further updates as the year went on, so I sent up a prayer when I thought of them and hoped for the best. Mike was the assistant pastor at the church where Rex and I met, who was also best man at our wedding. The best way I can describe him is that he always reminded me of a big, sweet teddy bear. He and Debbie were called to a church in Maine several years ago, a place I've always wanted to visit, but considering that it's at the opposite corner of the continental U.S., it made it doubtful that we would be seeing each other anytime soon. When the card came with just Debbie's name on the address label and just her signature, I knew what her newsletter was going to say. Mike was 61.

The testimony page on my site evergreenrefuge.org, which also describes how Rex and I met, mentioned how our pastor and his daughter Sandi, who had quickly become a good friend of mine, did a bit of matchmaking, convincing me that he really was not too old for me (I was 24 and he was 33) and that, yes, he was quiet, but they could tell he really liked me, etc. Then, Pastor asked him to drive me home one night from Bible study at his house and the rest, as they say, was history. What I tended not to mention or even think of whenever I thought of Sandi down through the years was the all-too-apparent fact that most of her adult life, she had been afflicted with a devastating condition commonly called FOP (short for Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva). This is a horrendous condition that gradually causes one's muscles to turn to bone, creating a sort of second skeleton, and eventually rendering the person immobile. During the late 70's - early 80s when I attended that church and frequently hung out with Sandi at the parsonage, her body was already mostly stiff but she could move with great effort and could occasionally make it to church. However, following that, she was bedridden for over 20 years and depended on the faithful care of her dear parents -- Rev. DuWayne Lee (the pastor who married Rex and me) and his wife Jean, who are now about age 78.

I know Pastor and Jean were brokenhearted over Sandi's condition, and it certainly took great faith and divine intervention for them to continue to care for her and watch her condition deteriorate for decades. Yet, they did so with a God-given grace and immense thankfulness to have their beloved daughter to care for. As for Sandi herself, I will continue to mainly remember her unwavering faith, gentle and optimistic nature, and all the fun we had whenever we were together. A few days ago, I posted a prayer request to my Facebook page and to my online lists asking for relief from my migraines, which had given me more trouble than usual the past couple weeks. While the migraines have been painful, when I think of Sandi, I feel ashamed to be complaining about something as comparatively small as temporary head pain -- when here was a precious person who was not able to even move, to eat anything other than pureed foods (since her jaw would no longer open more than 1/4 inch) or do any of the other things I take for granted every day. Next time I am tempted to complain about headaches or any other discomfort I may have, I will think of my friend and what she had to go through every day of her life. Sandra Jean Lee was a gift to this earth for 55 years, 1 month and 26 days. I will never forget her, and I am thankful that when I see her again one day, she will have a new body and be able to move freely.

I invite anyone who is reading this to learn more about FOP by clicking here (this article, from 6 years ago, includes quotes from my friend Sandi and her mother) -- and to please be in prayer that a cure will one day be found for this terrible affliction. Thank you.

I am also thankful to have known Mike Peterson and Al Haymaker, two men who had greater faith and love of God than I could ever hope to have. I feel our world lost them and Sandi way too soon, but God in His sovereignty has called them to be with Him. Rex and I have not gotten around to putting up our Christmas tree this year and to be honest, with this latest news about our friends, I don't think we will. It just feels a bit too frivolous right now to be putting up decorations that only our eyes will see, only to take them down in a month. That reminds me a little too much of how temporary life is -- a fact that was driven home all too graphically this past week.

An Awful Anniversary followed by Weather Weirdness

2010-11-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

I still can't believe that last week already marked one year since one of the most painful weeks of my life. On Nov. 18, 2009, following a routine afternoon dental appointment, my precious "dog of a lifetime", the wonderful and wooly Great Pyrenees Heidi, 3 weeks short of what was to be her milestone 12th birthday, collapsed in our kitchen -- and unlike a few other recent instances, this time, she never got back up. What followed were 3 days including a vet appointment (where we were told there was a "small chance" the pills he prescribed would help) and my spending most of my time in our "great room" where my girl remained, feeding her broth and water with a turkey baster, and remaining in denial to that last moment, at 9:45 p.m. on Sat. the 21st, that she would recover. I remember my "swatgirl" (whose swats to get my attention always caused me to drop whatever else I was doing) with undying affection and gratitude for the 7 years and 10 months we had together following our adoption of her at age 4. Everyone needs to have a "dog of a lifetime", and I thank God every day for Heidi -- and despite wishing our time together could have been extended, I am thankful she didn't go through a long illness, and that she passed in the room with me at home, not via the vet's needle the day before.

I also thank God for darling little Susie, who joined our family last year on what would have been Heidi's 12th birthday (Dec. 9) and who becomes increasingly more dear to me each day -- as well as for our beautiful big boys Archie and Jesse who, though they may never be buddies, are now (usually) able to be in the main part of our home together without an altercation.

According to the calendar, winter begins each year on Dec. 21, though the entire month of December can be quite wintry, even here in the comparatively moderate Pacific Northwest. I join thousands of others in beautiful western Washington in hoping we have not had a sneak preview this past week of the winter to come! It has been predicted to be much more like the severe winter of two years ago than last year, but raised its ugly head much earlier than anyone expected. Last Sunday the 21st, a fine snow fell throughout the afternoon. I thought nothing of it, assuming it was too early in the season to be a problem and would pretty much melt into the ground. But Rex awoke me Monday to say the roads were bad and that he would drive me to the ferry. Snow continued to fall throughout the day, and at 4:15, my boss Chris confirmed the roads were bad and that everyone should leave the office, which we did. The winds were very cold and strong, and I was glad to get a ride to the dock with my coworker, Tara. The short walk from her car to the dock was unpleasant to say the least. I just KNEW we would have a tree fall into our power line at home, and hoped I could at least have a hot dinner before that happened.

The walk from the Southworth dock to Rex's car was downright scary. The wind was so strong that though I am not a petite person, I literally envisioned the wind picking me up and depositing me into the ice cold water. But I made it to his car and I did have a chance to eat some dinner before our power went out at 6:40 p.m. As it turned out, it was "only" out for 26 hours and about 17 minutes. But there were some major differences between this and the usual power outages. The temps got down to about 14, very rare for this area. Despite wearing a sweatshirt, two sweaters, winter coat, hat, scarf and gloves, it took me almost a day after the power returned to feel I could begin peeling off the layers. Our water pipes froze, so we had no water till Rex finished fixing the pipes yesterday. Our cell phone tower was mostly non-functional Tuesday and part of Wednesday, so I didn't learn till I finally reached Chris Tues. night that the entire town where I work had no power from late Monday till midday Wednesday. I was home (and uncomfortable due to the cold and dark) Tues. and Wed. since the roads were a sheet of ice till Thanksgiving (not to mention no power in our office). We had Cornish hens for dinner when Rex got home from working at the dog kennel Thanksgiving evening, and I worked the full day Friday (not originally scheduled) due to the two involuntary days off. My sinuses and body clock are still messed up from this ordeal, and I hope and trust the coming weeks will prove much less eventful!

As for crochet projects, I recently completed two blue and yellow baby boy afghans using Caron Simply Soft (one using the Fairfax stitch pattern and the other with diagonal brick stitch). The first one was bought by Elfi (boss mom)'s sister and the other for a future sale or gift or charity. Next, I used purple Sensations Angel Hair yarn to make myself a winter scarf in the Mayfair stitch (which I use most often for scarves), which felt very good in the recent severe weather. Then I crocheted Christmas presents for Dianne and for Elfi and Heide at work, which will remain nameless till after Christmas, and today I completed a star shaped red/green table mat (or large dishcloth) as part of an online exchange. Not sure what will be my next project. I'm way overdue in taking pics of my latest projects for the new crochet blog I'll be starting (which will eventually replace my crochet pages at evergreenrefuge.org); maybe next weekend if it's more normal (which shouldn't be hard to do after the past week!).

Back Home Again

2010-09-26T16:31:00.000-07:00

Hey, it's good to be back home again.
Sometimes, this old church feels like a long-lost friend
-- And hey, it's good to be back home again.

Apologies to the late John Denver -- but these are the words that occurred to me in my recent decision (or decision reversal) -- even though John was singing about an old farm and not an old church! I had posted almost 3 months ago that at that time, I had pretty much decided (resigned myself) to joining a church I had been attending that seemed like a good compromise. I liked the pastor, the people seemed nice enough, the doctrine seemed pretty much on target, and though the services were more contemporary than I felt at home with, I thought I would maybe even get used to it in time. But I could never take that final step of joining. I felt that it was because I missed the beauty of the Lutheran services, and specifically the church I had left in June of last year and still had in my heart.

I realized that due to there not being an LCMS or other conservative Lutheran church in town, my choice would involve compromise in either distance, doctrine or style of service. I also have come to realize that despite my disagreements with some of the policies of the ELCA, there is probably no such thing as a church whose doctrine I would agree with 100% (there are some things none of us may ever know for sure in this life). So at the beginning of this month, I decided to try something. Since I felt it would be awkward to return to the church I left once again (having visited twice since I'd left), I decided to visit one other ELCA church in town that I hadn't visited yet and really give it a chance; see how it felt. So I did. I went there that Sunday and the following Sunday. As was the case with other churches I'd tried the previous 1-1/4 years, the people were nice enough. And the experiment was successful in that what I quickly realized that what I have indeed been missing was so many beautiful aspects of the Lutheran service that were missing from the last (Methodist) church I attended -- the sharing of the peace, the many responsive readings and musical responses, having communion every week as an integral part of the service (not just throwing it in once a month as a "symbol"). What WAS still missing was the one-of-a-kind warmth and love I experienced at the church I left from the moment I first walked in the door in July '08. I went back to the other ELCA church a second time to be sure. Early on in the service, because it started an hour earlier than the place I now saw has always been "my" church, I felt the strong urge to run out the door in time to make the service there. But because this would have been obvious and I would have felt rude, I stayed till the end, and now I KNEW where I would be the following Sunday, the 19th. I knew it would be just a little awkward, but the awkwardness would be mainly on my part. I knew I would be welcomed back with open arms -- and I was. The interim pastor who has been there for many months, but who I had not yet met, has apparently decided to stay, and I like him very much (and he agrees that what has happened with the ELCA is "heartbreaking"). We have lost some good people, but most stayed for the same reason I came back -- because they realized there is no place else like this place, so they stayed in spite of the ELCA. So.....after 1-1/4 years of searching and trying in vain to make someplace else work out, I have come full circle and am Back Home Again.

I had a birthday earlier this month; it fell on Labor Day as it sometimes does. So it was nice to have the day to hang out at home instead of having to go into the office or take one of my few vacation days. The years continue to fly by and each year, I can't believe I'm the age that I am. But I've also gotten to the point where I am thankful to have achieved the age that I have, when I hear about people dying of sudden heart attacks and other reasons at my age or even younger. I continue to not get nearly enough sleep, get frequent headaches and remain 40-ish pounds overweight, and continue to realize I need to do something about this. Like the saying goes, "If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself". I know it's not something to joke around with. But I guess that if it was easy, if it wasn't a constant struggle, there wouldn't be millions of people struggling with it. The day before my birthday, a Sunday, I visited that other ELCA church, then (regretting I couldn't afford to take a mini-vacation this year but having a desire to do at least a little something different), I drove 20 miles north to Silverdale, stopped at what apparently is the only bagel shop in this county (ridiculous!), bought a bag of 6 day-old bagels, a small cream cheese and a hazelnut latte, had the latte and one of the bagels (which were delicious) and saved the rest to enjoy the rest of the long weekend, stopped at the JoAnn's and the Michael's and looked around, then drove back home. Then last weekend, Dianne and I went to the Puyallup Fair (the 6th largest fair in the U.S.), which we hadn't been to for years. We enjoyed looking at the crochet and other craft exhibits, the animals, and the commercial exhibits, and ate some delicious fish and chips. Then we made a few craft store stops and had chicken chimichaungas at Ranchero in Milton, brought a couple scones from the fair to her mom, and went back to Dianne's to crochet, talk and be with her three cute tiny dogs.

I've crocheted outfits for two more of the 5" Itty Bitty Babies and will get photos taken of them soon. I just finished a doily made of the Aunt Lydia's bamboo crochet thread I'd wanted to try. It's a bit too soft for doilies and splits quite easily. So I'll stick with the premium cotton thread such as my discontinued Opera, but now I know! I'm about to start an outfit in brown, sage and gold for a Ken doll who will be a companion to the Barbie in the sage, peach and gold gown. I had trouble finding the brown #10 crochet thread and thought I'd have to buy some from an eBay seller and pay shipping, but Dianne found a half-full roll that should be more than enough. I spent part of this weekend sorting through my crochet patterns and picked out some more to make in the near future (in addition to needing to start before long on Dianne's Christmas present; the big day is only 3 months away. Where does the time go; indeed! I miss the long days with dawn before 4:30 and dusk lasting till almost 10, yet in 3 more months, I'll long for today's 7:20 sunsets!

Oh, What a Tangled Web We Weave!

2010-08-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

The title of this post doesn't refer to its usual meaning concerning the results of lying, but rather, the tangled (World Wide) web that has resulted from all the broken links for various reasons -- including people not maintaining their web sites till they are suspended by the web host (which I was even temporarily guilty of for a few months), and web hosts changing hands and then sometimes disappearing, the biggest example of which was GeoCities. I miss GeoCities! When the Internet was young in the late 90's, they were extremely popular, and with good reason. Thousands of us truly enjoyed the concept of picking out a "house number" on a cyber street for the "neighborhood" that suited the theme of our site. Yes, the URLs were ridiculously long as a result, but I don't think anyone really cared.

When Yahoo took over GeoCities a couple of years ago, the cyber streets went away and were replaced by the site owner's Yahoo name. I thought that was kind of sad even though the URLs were much shorter. Then Yahoo closed GeoCities with little warning late last year. Thousands of people who still had their web sites on GeoCities never saw this coming and didn't know how or just didn't want to bother moving their sites. I realize this now more than ever, now that I have finally been trying to update my info on several web rings my site has belonged to (web rings, of course, being groupings of like-minded sites). Many of these web ring pages were on GeoCities and no longer exist; I click on them and get an error message. It's really sad; I hate to think how much worthwhile web content was lost. I don't know why Yahoo even bothered to buy GeoCities in the first place. Yahoo has some good points, like their YahooGroups lists, but it's really a shame that they killed GeoCities and left countless broken links and disheartened former site owners.

Another bad thing Yahoo did was to buy webring.org. I believe they no longer own that site, which seems to still be the largest web ring provider. But for me and many others, part of the fun of joining or creating rings is the pretty, unique graphics used for each ring. When Yahoo bought webring.org, those graphics became plain generic boxes, and that's how they remain. Ringsurf, the provider of the three rings I still own and most of those I joined, has also gone downhill. They give zero response to questions or comments E-mailed to them and now request a 1,000 character minimum description for each ring you join, which is ridiculous and explained why no new members have joined my rings. I'll leave the three rings I own there for now, but may eventually close them, with web rings seeming to be fading from the Net. Bravenet and JLYM (a Christian ring provider) appear to be the best providers remaining, but they too have a dwindling number of rings that seem to still be active (ans many with broken links where ring home pages once were, that more often than not were GeoCities pages).

I'm doing some very overdue general updating this weekend on my site, The Evergreen Refuge -- this updating being so overdue that I didn't even realize my beautiful site was offline for a few months when I totally forgot to renew my account with my web host (having changed my E-mail address so I didn't receive the bill, and circumstances such as my precious dog Heidi's sudden death numbing my brain late last year). A lady on one of my online lists asked me this week if I'd considered designing web sites for other people to earn extra money. I told her I have considered that, and used to often mention my willingness to do so, but didn't get customers. But it also occurs to me that a lot of people are not longer seeking to create multi-section sites such as mine. Blogs seem to be the method of choice now for the majority of those who want a web site. They are simpler and pretty much accomplish the same purpose. I hope the day won't come when I decide to close The Evergreen Refuge and replace it with this blog. But I may eventually remove sections such as the web rings, awards and banners, which used to generate interest and traffic but probably don't any more.

I had actually started researching the web rings, and the updating I needed to do, a couple of weeks ago. But I really didn't have a chance to tear myself away from the DVR till this weekend, and it's the fault of Dianne's dear mom, Margaret. When she came on a drive with us to the Chehalis area several weeks ago, we were talking about tv shows and she asked if I watched NCIS. I told her I never had but after we continued to talk awhile, I told her I would check it out, and I did. Well......I''ll just say that though I do still really like Criminal Minds, NCIS makes it (and any other crime show) pale by comparison. I can't say enough about the cast and their interaction, the plots, the humor....I never imagined a forensic scientist who is a goth and a crusty elderly British medical examiner could be so endearing! So I "only" had about 150 episodes to catch up on. I guess I've seen most of them now since there are no "new to me" episodes for a few days (going through withdrawal here). I'm even going to try to download the theme song as the ringtone for my phone (though it takes forever to download anything to the little dinosaur of a phone I currently have....).

As far as crocheting is concerned, I haven't started another Barbie yet since having completed the multi-train violet and rose concoction. I want to make a Ken doll's outfit next; he'll be a companion to the Barbie in the sage and peach gown, and I need some brown crochet thread for his slacks. In the meantime, I made a couple of outfits for the darling 5" Itty Bitty Babies -- a "Sunday Meeting" dress, panties, shoes and hat in dark rose with pink trim, and a boy's baseball uniform in light blue with dark blue. I used #10 Opera thread for both. Dianne got me two more of the little baby dolls as part of my early birthday present, so I'll likely be making outfits for them next. I've also made a few more baby items with Red Heart Baby Soft (in the pretty pastel Angel Print) and in Bernat Cottontots, including a diagonal brick stitch multicolored baby ghan for which I used most of my small amounts of remaining Cottontots. Then it occured to me that Cottontots would work beautifully for baby bibs. I found a few bib patterns online that look nice, so that will be another small project I will try soon. Part of next weekend will be spent photographing my latest crochet projects, since I certainly have enough now for a 6th crochet page, maybe even a 7th!

Six Things I Am Trying to Wrap My Brain Around

2010-06-25T10:34:00.000-07:00

1. Susie, our newest doggie, has already been with us for 6-1/2 months. She has settled in well and is a lot of fun. She is 21-1/2 months old now. I've wanted to get some more recent good pics of her, but when she sees me with the camera, I get a blank stare as if to say, "Mommy, what are you doing with that box in front of your face?" But I'll keep trying.

2. Even though Susie has been with us 6-1/2 months now, as of this writing I still don't have my web site, The Evergreen Refuge, updated with info about her. I need to rectify that soon. In fact, I haven't updated my site at all for awhile. I attribute the reason for this to our DVR and how easy it is to scroll through two weeks of TV listings and record stuff off the travel, food, medical and crime channels -- along with my favorite network show, Criminal Minds (though at this point, I think I have seen almost all of the back episodes). I definitely watch too much TV -- and stay up too late watching it. The only DVR we have is in a separate room from the only computer we have -- so when I am watching programs on the DVR, I can't use the computer at the same time.

3. The Evergreen Refuge has been in existence over 12 years now! It has undergone many design improvements and additional sections over the years. I'm pleased with the look and number of sections at this point, though I will continue to update it when time permits (possibly this weekend), especially the pet, crochet, and interests sections.

4. I am writing this on a rare day off from work. I have Monday off as well. I had planned, starting today and going through Sunday evening, to take a mini-trip to Portland, a city I love and have not gotten back to since 2005. I had the hotel, Amtrak reservation and rental car in place, and mapped out how I planned to spend my time each day. I was really looking forward to it, especially since I haven't had any out-of-state getaways since Vegas in Sept. '08. Then last Saturday, I learned something that, after much consideration, caused me to very reluctantly decide to cancel my trip. I won't go into the circumstances on this public blog. Those I am regularly in touch with know about it, and I appreciate their prayers and concern. I feel things will work out in the end, but given the present circumstances, I decided it would be wise to not plan trips beyond a local overnighter for awhile. Though I am disappointed, it is really nice to have a day off work to just be at home alone with the pets and unwind.

5. It took awhile, but a few weeks ago I finished my 2nd most elaborate Barbie gown, a Paradise pattern called "A Mother's Love", featuring a multi-layered ruffled train, a fitted striped jacket and a large feathered and ribboned hat. (She's pictured in pink with white stripes, but I made her in wood violet with tea rose stripes, in my beloved discontinued #10 Opera thread; these two colors look beautiful together.) I'll get her photographed and added to my crochet pages on my site soon. So now I only have room left in my large glass cabinet for just 4 more Barbies (or maybe 3 Barbies and a Ken)! After that, I'll occasionally make a fancy Barbie for a gift. But I'm gradually shifting more to making clothes for larger dolls and for real babies for charity or gifts.

After I finish this blog entry, I will go back to sitting in front of the DVR for awhile and finishing a pink Cottonots mini-blankie in brick stitch that my newly acquired baby girl doll I found on eBay will sit on. I felt she would make a good companion for my baby boy doll that I had crocheted the pretty blue outfit for. I crocheted the girl a pretty little dress, booties and bonnet out of the same wonderful Australian baby layette booklet that the boy's outfit came from, which is the nicest baby layette pattern booklet I've ever come across. However, my very next project will be a blue Cottontots afghan (likely in Mayfair stitch, which I use a lot as it is relaxing and versatile) for my boss' mom, who mentioned she wants to buy another one from me - yay!

6. After going back and forth in my mind countless times since May of last year, at this point I am 99% sure I've finally decided that I am going to join the Methodist church I've attended at least a dozen times since late last year. I came close to joining at Easter but just wasn't ready yet. I visited a few other churches again, including the one I left over a year ago. In the end, I feel this particular Methodist church is where I belong at this time, though in my heart, I still wish I could join an LCMS (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod) church. But the closest one is 11 miles away, struggling to stay afloat and most of the congregation is quite elderly (I love elderly people but feel more comfortable with a variety of ages). The only other LCMS option is 18 miles away and would require much highway driving, which would be a hardship in the winter and a hassle otherwise. The UMC church is a bit more contemporary than I prefer (the praise choruses in the middle of the service are nicely done but are just not my thing) but the rest of the service is pretty traditional, and I really like the pastor and people. It is also a place I feel Rex would enjoy if he ever got a Sunday off work to come with me (the Lutheran church was a bit formal for him, though I loved it). It's a relief to have finally made a decision on this very important piece of my life!

Collin, Insomnia, Criminal Minds, and Church

2010-04-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a long-awaited weekend away with Dianne, the highlight of which was something we hadn't done since December 2001. We saw Collin Raye in concert. It's so hard for me to comprehend that it's been this long, as obsessed as I was with the man and his music for 3 years, beginning in the summer of '98. He's remained my favorite singer and likely always will be, but I think I overcompensated for having been SO crazy obsessed as I had been. I had been aware of Collin and his music since his first singles in 1991, always did enjoy his music, but -- in '98, going through a hard time between two years of temping and another big problem I won't go into here, I heard the song "I Can Still Feel You', and it was like the intensity and heart he put into it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I began to accumulate his CDs, see his concerts, and correspond about him endlessly with other "Internet Collinators", it was like the proverbial snowball rolling down a hill, and I "Collinated" other people every chance I got, including my dear friend Dianne. (I'm sure God continues to wish my faith in Him was great enough to talk about Him to others half as much as I did about Collin Raye back then!). Continuing to learn about his great faith in God and his many humanitarian efforts only added to my obsession. I didn't think a solidly middle-aged married woman could be a groupie. But when said woman maxes out her Visa to travel 2,000 miles (in Dec. '99) with her Internet pals to meet the man, I guess that would be one definition of a groupie.

My fervor began to cool in late '01 when I tried desperately to get Dianne backstage to meet Collin and was denied by his management. I'd already managed to meet him twice, due to sheer will and desire to make it happen, but there was to be no third time. We saw him in concert (from lousy seats) in Tacoma in Dec. '01 (it was Dianne's third concert but approximately my 11th; I've lost count). Around that same time, the radio stations stopped playing his new singles and there were record label problems. I lost touch with the other "Internet Collinators" and stopped spending time on his web site. I would occasionally visit his site (usually when Dianne would tell me she heard he had a new CD coming out) but those visits became less and less frequent. I never stopped enjoying his music or appreciating him as a person, but the admittedly unhealthy obsession had faded.

Last fall, Dianne E-mailed me at work and said she heard Collin would be doing a concert in Bellingham, two hours north of us. I suddenly thought, wouldn't that be fun - it's been too long! And I'd wanted to visit Bellingham last fall and didn't go due to the rain. AND - what if I went online right then - maybe I could snag great seats! So I did. And I got us......FRONT ROW!! (My second front row and Dianne's first.) The tickets waited patiently in my top desk drawer for the next several months. But I still didn't make much of an effort to keep up with Collin's latest CDs or what was going on in his life these past 8+ years.

Last Saturday finally came. The concert began with a great opening set by the 90s group "Restless Heart". They were really excellent! I'd forgotten how much I had enjoyed their music. After a half-hour intermission, Collin's band came out -- all four were different people than his earlier concerts. And then, there he was, in a gray shirt and black pants (and a black baseball cap -- we thought, WHAT is up with that?). He opened with an upbeat song I'd never heard. He did many of his big songs from the 90s -- nowhere near all of them; there wasn't ehough time, but most of his big "signature" songs. He included a few newer ones - a beautiful song about prayer ("What I Need"), a fantastic version of the Steely Dan hit "Do It Again", and for his encore, he did the Joe Walsh rocker, "Rocky Mountain Way".

He did a fabulous job as always and his voice sounded better than ever, if possible. He joked with the audience as to why he wore the baseball cap -- he briefly lifted it to show not much hair left and added, "Collin's not as young as he used to be!" (Hey, join the club!) -- and about "That's My Story" being his "Achy Breaky Heart" that he HAS to include. But he also seemed -- Dianne called it "reflective", and he seemed to cut the concert a little bit shorter in the past. Today, I was stunned to find out why.

I went to Collin's site at lunchtime to try to find more info on his latest CDs, and a link there led me to the news that his first granddaughter, Haley, age 9, had just passed away of a brain disorder on April 3. I can't believe he could come out and put on the show that he did only two weeks after this tremendous loss. Many performers would have canceled the show. But as I've discovered countless times in the past and know now even more than ever, Collin Raye is not "many performers". He honestly is in a class by himself, not just as a passionate and enormously talented artist, but as a strong and dedicated Christian and family man. Most of the so-called country artists that have come out in the past few years don't begin to hold a candle to him as a singer, writer, performer -- and person. I feel so guilty now for not keeping up with him these past several years. I didn't even know his dear granddaughter had a brain disorder since age 2, or that he has a second granddaughter, age 5 (who thankfully is doing well). Yes, I did go overboard in the previous decade with my Collin obsession, but I need to start doing a better job of keeping up with his music and his life. He truly is one of a kind, and he and his dear daughter (Haley's mom) are in my prayers. I thank God for Collin Raye, and for his great gift of music and performing that he shares so unselflessly with the world -- even only two weeks after experiencing such a devastating loss.

I continue to experience Insomnia most every night, to live my life sleep-deprived and to stay up too late. Dianne and I couldn't sleep in the hotel room the night after seeing Collin, for different reasons. She has pain every day and night from her fibromyalgia and I have headaches and stress from my excess weight, job stress, Rex's hoarding and our "paycheck to paycheck" existence that makes me feel I never will be able to retire. I think we both finally got about two hours sleep. Now I have another reason to be a nightowl with chronic insomnia. I've missed "Monk" since it went off the air. I then found "Cold Case", but I think I now have seen most all of the reruns on cable. Two weeks ago, I discovered "Criminal Minds". After about the third episode, I realized I was hooked. It's on three different networks anywhere from one to six times, 6 days a week. There have been about 100 episodes, so it will take awhile to catch up. I'll get to see a couple a night off the DVR on weeknights, but am looking forward to this weekend -- I'll probably have enough saved up for a two-day marathon!

Last time I posted, I felt I had finally made a decision on a church. Now I again am not so sure. The Maundy Thursday service at the Methodist church caused me to realize how much I miss the Lutheran church. The regular services at that church really are a bit more contemporary than I think I can commit to long-term. I don't know if there are any other churches here in town with services that are to my taste but that aren't ELCA or that aren't overly dry or overly contemporary or simplistic. I am enriched by the liturgical services, but if not done properly, they can be dry. I miss my previous church that I attended in '09, but I won't be going back. I've ruled out finding a church in Bremerton, realizing how much I dislike having to drive up the highway, and also realizing that it's the opposite direction from most everything else in my life. There are two more churches in Gig Harbor I may consider; I need to learn more about them first. And finally, there is the LCMS church that sounded like it was on the verge of closing when I last visited in Jan. I should see what is happening there. SIGH -- I just hope that when I finally find the right place, I will KNOW it and will have a fruitful experience there for years to come.....

Jacob, Michael, Chickens and Church

2010-03-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

This post, for a change, is not going to be sad, for the most part. A week ago Saturday, Dianne and I drove out to the Mount Vernon area, 2 hours each way, to meet what we hoped would be her new family member at a Chihuahua rescue organization that had approved her for adoption. They had an "open house" for people to meet the doggies, but she was the only one who was approved. The weather was perfect and our hopes were high. There were about a dozen of the little critters separated into two collapsible cages. I waited in the car for a moment with Java while she got an initial look at them. She brought one over to the car for me to meet who I instantly recognized from his Petfinder page as Michael, a sweet 6-year-old tri-color long coat whose only flaw was that he had no teeth (since the previous owner either didn't or couldn't get him the attention he needed to prevent this). He captured both of us instantly, and I prayed that even if Dianne decided on another doggie, she would feel led to take little Michael as well.

Another little dog she looked forward to seeing was named Caleb at her suggestion; he was white, shorthaired, and less than two years old. She felt attracted to him, but he didn't seem to have the personality or the compatibility with Java that we would have preferred. Still, he was strongly in the running for her since she liked the idea of a younger dog who would be playful like Josh was. She visited with most of the other little dogs but seemed to be mainly torn between Caleb and Michael. As she stood with her back to the cage that contained mostly tan shorthaired Chi's, all or most of which we thought we had visited with, Dianne felt a swat on the back of her leg. She turned around and saw a little face looking up at her as if to say, "Hey, lady, what about me? Look at ME!" She asked, "Who is this?" and was told his name was Jack. The reason we had not remembered seeing his Petfinder profile was that he was marked as "No kids" since he had once bitten a child. The rep went on to explain it was a case where a woman who had kids (which the doggie had no incidents with) moved in with a boyfriend with kids, and one of the boyfriend's kids were harassing the little dog (to which we both thought, well, we would bite in that case too, and also, she should have kept the kids and dumped the boyfriend, ha). She picked up Jack and he seemed to lean into her. He was so sweet and gentle, and he also seemed to interact well with Java. So now, she was torn. She felt so drawn to both Jack and Michael. She had totally intended to adopt just one dog. But how could she leave one of them behind? She finally decided, to my delight, to adopt both. As she explained, she (we) had chosen Michael, but Jack had chosen her.

We brought all three doggies back to her home and were alarmed that evening when Dianne first held both Jack (who she has renamed Jacob) and Michael - and Jacob, who weighs 6 pounds and is 20 months old, went after Michael, who only weighs 4 pounds and is 6 years old, besides not having teeth. Dianne gave Jacob a good talking to in which she emphasized this would NOT be tolerated and that she is the queen mother, while Java (who is age 12 and weighs 12 pounds) is queen, and the two boys are princes. Jacob looked up at her so earnestly as if he understood every word, and then he hung his little head. So this confirmed that he is not only very smart but that he wants to do the right thing. There have been no such problems since, though she still keeps Jacob in his crate at night while Michael and Java sleep on the bed with her, which I think is wise till everyone gets more acclimated. Both little boys are crate trained and Jacob is OK with sleeping in his crate.

On the way to the rescue place, I asked Dianne, "What do you suppose Rex brought home last night?" She said, "Not another dog!" Nope, we have all the doggies we can handle for now! After a few guesses, I said, "Four baby chickens!" As with many of the critters he has rescued over the years, I had no warning about this and initially, I was not pleased, due tothe lack of warning and the additional time this would take from his needed clutter control. He explained that his boss at the dog kennel recalled he had mentioned about six months ago (she has a good memory) that it would be nice to have chickens so we could have fresh eggs, and gave him these four baby chickens from a friend of hers. Each one was a different color and one was a little larger than the others. He had an extra guinea pig cage they could be kept in for about a month, at which time he would put them in an outdoor coop. The guinea pig shavings worked for them, and he got chicken feed plus feed and water containers for their cage. He even got a heat lamp that shines over them 24/7 to approximate their mother's body. So he's taken excellent care of them. In spite of that, the largest chick died after only about 6 days. We don't know what went wrong, but he instantly cleaned the entire cage in hopes the remaining chicks would not get infected. So far, they have been fine. We won't know for awhile if they are boys or girls. It would be nice if we end up with 2 hens for eggs plus one rooster!

The day before Rex brought home the chickens, I thought earlier that day that I had finally made the difficult decision about what church to commit to, after going back and forth for months, and still having either doctrinal or distance issues with the remaining churches I was considering. I decided to go to the evening Lenten service that day (a week ago Thursday) at the traditional Presbyterian church that was too far away (14 miles) but that I felt I loved enough that I could overlook the distance. I had not been back for several weeks but felt I finally would know what to do after I went to the Lenten service. But something happened that evening, concerningwith both the doctrine and distance. I heard something at the service I won't go into but that just didn't set right with me. And the drive back in the evening reminded me how much I dislike driving up the highway at night, even in nice weather. I suddenly realized that though I am not ready to join the Methodist church in my town just yet, that I will continue attending there and will probably join later this year. Last Sunday seemed to reinforce my decision, with a Sunday school class that was small but very friendly and enjoyable, and services that (while lacking some of the liturgical elements I'd grown used to) include enough hymns and traditional elements to suit me, in addition to being a place I think hubby would enjoy if he ever gets more than a rare Sunday off. While I still need to check out the choir (I had too tiring of a work week to get there this past week), I feel I finally have decided, and this is a relief.

Since I now have a large garbage pail size bag of baby ghans and outfits to donate to charity, I may go back to Barbie gowns soon. First I need to make a mini table topper with Opera #10 thread for an exchange on Swap-bot. Also, it's nice to again be able to do my mile and a quarter walk to and from the park n'ride most weekdays now that Daylight Savings is here. I was sure this would start making at least a small difference in my continued lack of weight loss, but I still have lost virtually no weight, so that is discouraging to say the least. But I am still not willing to give up the foods I enjoy; I need the stress relief after a long workday. So -- as in all the previous recent years, nothing in this area is changing and I'm starting to believe it never will. I don't want to believe I am destined to remain 40-45 pounds overweight, but what else can I believe after years of this nonsense? Please God, let something finally happen to prove me wrong. I can't stand looking and feeling like this, and I can't stand hoping year after year that it can finally change but never does.

Chica-matic

2010-03-09T00:18:00.000-08:00

The recent trend of posting when something sad happens unfortunately continues. Dianne mentioned in her E-mail of Monday the 1st that her darling senior Pomeranian, Chica (or Chica-matic, as we sometimes called her), was at the vet's experiencing heart failure and that her vet was determining a plan of action for Chica's remaining weeks or months. I E-mailed her back to tell Chica to hang in there, that Auntie Teri loves her and wants to see her again this Sat. (for our belated celebration of Dianne's birthday in Feb., postponed twice for various reasons). I didn't hear back from Dianne the next day, which could have meant she simply had the day off and didn't mention it, and yet somehow, I had a feeling in my bones what was coming next. The next morning, her E-mail began with, "Chica is now romping with Ricky and Josh. She passed yesterday".

I knew this sweet, docile girl was getting on in years; after all, I was with Dianne when we found her near Dianne's home in '94. She was young then, but still, that made her at least 17 this year (doesn't seem possible). I've literally known Chica more years than I've known any other dog, including my own, so she was special to me. She went deaf several years ago, but we think that may be what made her so calm and mellow. She was just a sweet, quiet littie fluffball who I usually chose to walk when I stayed overnight with Dianne - and of course, she was the mom of precious little Josh who died in Oct. So this is something else my dear friend and I have in common -- she lost 2 beloved dogs (including her favorite) in a span of 5 months, and I lost 2 beloved dogs (including my favorite) in the span of 8 months. It's been strange enough my past few visits not having Josh jump up on the couch with his toy for me to throw, and now, not having my girlfriend Chica to walk was reaaaally strange. Dianne does plan to adopt a little boy soon to keep Josh company. She has an application in to a shelter about 2 hours north of her town that has several cute Chihuahuas advertised on Petfinder. There is one in particular she hopes to adopt, and she feels she'll get him if it was meant to be -- or if not, she'll have the furball God intends for her. I still don't understand the timing of when God took my Heidi, but I have to accept it and be thankful for the years I had with her. I still sometimes wonder if Susie really is the dog God intended Rex and me to adopt, though she is fun and we do love her. I really just wish doggies lived longer. I can't imagine life without them.

Dianne and I went shopping (as usual) on Saturday; we brought Java so she wouldn't be home alone, and she was a good girl. Our last stop was the Joann's in Puyallup, and I fell in love with a beautiful silky polyester fabric -- white with red, pink and gray flowers, on sale for 30% off. I commented how I would love to have a blouse made of that fabric. Before we left, I decided I had to buy enough to make a blouse, even though I still haven't even cut out the pieces for that purse I bought the fabric for in July, and even though I still haven't tried out the basic Brother sewing machine I bought with part of my Christmas bonus. Dianne, who is into quilting, said I'll have to bring over my new machine and my fabrics in the near future, and we'll have a sewing weekend. Crocheting is SO much more portable, but I can't crochet myself a blouse using this fabric! Speaking of crocheting, I'm still working on charity (or gift) baby items, but I'll get back to making more Barbie gowns later this year.

I went to the Methodist church again Sunday, and met briefly with the pastor along with 4 other people who are considering joining. I'm supposed to meet with him again next Sun. or the Sun. after, with the option of joining Easter Sunday. Part of me is ready and part of me is not. I do like this particular church and need to commit to one after all these months of indecision. Maybe I'll have a clearer idea of what to do next Sun. - or not (and I also may check out their choir practice this week, if I'm not too brain-dead from my crazy job). I need to go to bed now -- hoped to start walking to and from the park n'ride today now that the days are finally long enough to do it safely, but hubby still needs to use my car since his is still leaking. My middle name -- wait!!

The Uncertainty of Life

2010-02-25T01:19:00.001-08:00

I didn't realize I hadn't posted at all yet in 2010, though I thought many times about doing it. It seems like lately, there's been something sad to post about, such as Dianne's beloved little dog Josh passing, and then my darling Heidi unexpectedly passing. And of course, one hears every day on the news about someone dying tragically and you feel badly about it. Usually it is not someone you know; someone you've always remembered with great fondness even though you haven't seen them for many years. But this time, it was.

This past Monday the 22nd, Rex sent a news link to my E-mail about a Chicago police sergeant dying in a traffic accident. I thought, well, that's sad, but why is he telling me this? Then I opened the link and it was all I could do to not gasp aloud at my desk at work when I read the officer's name. It was Alan Haymaker, who we knew as "Pastor Al" when he was the assistant pastor at the church we'd attended for years in the 80's in Chicago. Not long before we moved to Washington in '90, we were surprised to learn that Al had decided to change careers and become a police officer. But it was what he felt called by God to do. It was what his dad and his granddad did.

We kept in touch with Al and his wife Elaine via annual Christmas cards and newsletters for several years, but as those living 2,000 miles apart often do, we eventually lost touch. But I would sometimes think about him and his kindness to me when he attended my dad's funeral in '86. It was no surprise to read, in the article about the accident, how he had similarly affected everyone who had the privilege to know him, and how great his faith in Christ remained. Very early Monday morning, he was responding to a burglary call when his car lost control on an icy road and slammed into a pole and then a tree. It still doesn't seem real -- and like Dianne told me, it's hard to understand why God didn't intervene and protect him. There is no doubt that Al was a strong Christian who was ready to meet his Lord. I just wish the Lord would have given him many more years on this earth. I've requested prayer for Elaine and their three daughters, aged 16 to 25, and will continue to pray God will wrap His arms around them and give them His peace that passes all understanding.

Reading how much everyone loved and respected Al, and how great his faith was, made me think that even though it seems so untimely (he was 56), we would all wish to leave that type of a legacy, to have that glowing of an obit written about us when the time comes. And here I am, still not having committed to the right church where I can try to serve Him even one-tenth as well as Al did (though I do now definitely have the search narrowed down and am closer to making that decision). Here I am, staying up way, way too late watching the Winter Olympics (at least they are only on for 2 weeks every 4 years!), then not getting enough sleep and not being able to concentrate at my job. And here I am, continuing to snack on carbs and having lost a measly 5.2 pounds all year (which is better than nothing, but is still almost nothing) instead of treating my body like the temple it is. No one is guaranteed tomorrow, and the loss of this dear man is another solemn reminder of that. He, his family and friends would have never imagined as they left church that Sunday, that in a matter of hours, he would be gone. It's a reminder to appreciate every day; to be thankful to wake up every day instead of saying, "Ewwww, it's dark, rainy and I gotta go to work". Al didn't do that. He did what he felt God was leading him to do and lived each day to the fullest.

Concerning other, much smaller losses, we lost another of our guinea pigs a few days ago - the pretty little female tortoiseshell we called Zoey, who was Joey's mom. We knew she was getting older and though she had remained active, she was getting thin, so we wondered. So now we are down to seven piggies, which is actually plenty. They all seem to be thriving and we are enjoying them all, especially little Connor, who amuses us with his jogging around his plastic igloo in his cage and the way he sings (chirps) softly when I hold him. Our newest doggie, Susie, is doing well, though I often feel she thinks she is Rex's dog, since he is home with her more than I am (especially last month when he got virtually no working hours at the kennel; thankfully, he is getting some now). She is very cute and fun, and I've started to call her "drama queen" for the way she carries on when we put her in her crate when she knows we are around. She doesn't understand it's necessary to protect her from Archie when we let him out of the bedroom. We continue to need to keep him separated from her and from Jesse. But Jesse quickly grew to accept Susie and we are able to leave him out in the main part of the house with her. He has turned out to become my special dog now that Heidi is not here; he lays by my recliner most evenings and leans against me to be petted. I think Susie will eventually feel closer to me also; Rex keeps reminding me how long it took to get there with Heidi.

After the big bridal party project, I felt like taking a little break from the Barbie gowns and have been crocheting baby items, which will eventually be used for charity or gifts, and will eventually be pictured on The Evergreen Refuge's crochet section. I'm sure there is more I've forgotten to write, but as it's past my bedtime as usual, I'll save the rest for next time.

Made It Through This Strange Year

2009-12-31T22:11:00.001-08:00

Well, I can officially say in about an hour and 45 minutes that I made it through this strange year. In our 2009 Christmas formletter, I tried to put a positive spin on the year in that Rex and I (in this rough economy) still have our same jobs, and we've now been in our very long-awaited house for 2-1/2 years. But in many respects, I say good riddance to 2009 and pray that the coming clean slate will be a lot less stressful. The stress was in three main areas: 1) having lost two of our beloved dogs - Colby in March and the very unexpected and devastating loss of Heidi on Nov. 21st; 2) my job, and that's all I'll say about that for now, 3) my still-undecided church situation. Now, more than ever, I need to get that part of my life settled.

I thought in early November that after trying several churches and still feeling torn in different directions, that I would return to the small Lutheran church I'd attended for almost a year, joined in Feb. despite serious reservations about ELCA positions, but left in May. The congregation did vote to initiate the process to leave the ELCA, but this will require two more votes 90 days apart, the first being two Sundays from now. But the congregation remains divided, and with the other stresses in my life, I need a church with a peaceful atmosphere. I also need sound doctrine that follows God's Word, a sense of belonging and ministries I can get involved in, and preferably close enough to not inhibit the latter. The church where my heart is, is 14 miles away and in the opposite direction from everything else in my life -- Dianne, shopping, and towns where I would anticipate living in the future. I'm told there are some folks in the congregation in my area, so maybe there would be carpool opportunities. The pastor is wonderful and has always made time for me any time I've wanted to talk to him. There is one other church I'm considering that I've attended twice and liked very much, and is half the distance. I hope to have a clear idea of what to do once I attend Sunday school there for the first time this Sunday and finally meet with the pastor. Neither church is Lutheran (the further one is Presbyterian, the closer one is Methodist); I hoped to find an LCMS Lutheran church and have visited two, one 11 miles away, the other 18 miles away in that opposite direction and too far to consider. The other church is tiny and doesn't have a choir or enough ministry opportunities. Maybe I will join an LCMS church in the future, but for now, it seems I'll be changing denominations....

As far as the pet situation, I still miss Heidi every day and still can't believe I'm not getting to start the new year with her. But we've had little Susie over 3 weeks now and she's settled in well, and we've grown to love her. We hoped that she and the two big boys would be buddies, and I think Jesse was willing, but she growls at both of them when she sees them, and one evening Jesse took that the wrong way and started to go after her. So we're keeping them all separated for now. If I was Cesar Millan (the "Dog Whisperer"), I could resolve this. But I'm not, even though I watch his shows regularly and admire him greatly. Hopefully the "squirt" (she still seems so tiny compared to what we're used to) will get used to them and not feel inclined to growl. Other than that, she is such a sweetie. Below is the pic of her I'd found on petfinder.com. I learned that despite her small size, she is actually 1/4 Great Pyrenees. But the other 3/4 is Border Collie, and that's the size she is. I did want to have a smaller dog I could walk much more easily; I just didn't expect this is how I would get one (adopting a dog advertised as part Great Pyrenees and finding she's 1/4th to 1/3rd the size of one!).

On the plus side, I got a lot of crochet projects completed in '09, including some baby items that I'm waiting to find just the right charity for, and several more Barbies including my first bride and her wedding party (pics will be posted on my upcoming crochet page 6 on evergreenrefuge.org sometime in 2010). My last project was a 2nd Barbie angel for Dianne that was part of her Christmas present (we had Christmas together last Sat. the 26th). I was a bit delayed completing the angel due to the bad cold I had earlier in Dec. and it just occurred to me I didn't have time to get her photographed before wrapping her. I'll have to remember to bring my camera next time I visit Dianne and get her photographed. I'm pretty sure Dianne is likewise saying good riddance to 2009. It was a stressful year for her as well -- losing her much-loved Josh in October (6 weeks before we lost Heidi), job stress, and both her parents ailing. I pray 2010 will also be much better for her.

I don't especially believe in making resolutions, but I need to start anew my decades-old quest to lose weight (before it affects my heart and it becomes too late), control my "comfort eating", and get on my stair stepper every day (especially this time of year when it's too dark out in the evening from Nov. to Feb. to walk from the dock to the park n'ride on weekdays and I have to get rides from Rex or my neighbor instead). I also need to make every effort to go to bed at a more reasonable hour on weekdays in order to get more sleep and be able to cope and concentrate better at work (and not be tempted to stay up all night on weekends - at least, not often). Well, the Mountain Time Zone will ring in 2010 in a few minutes and an hour thereafter, we will be next. It's already here for most of the world. January is my least favorite month (especially the first week with all the holidays over and the days are still too short to realize they are starting to get longer) but at least it's over with first as well as symbolizing the clean slate I very much need in many ways. God willing, I will have a very upbeat report to post a year from now. Happy New Year!

A Bittersweet December 9th

2009-12-09T23:45:00.000-08:00

This has been far from the December 9th I would have anticipated a few weeks ago. Instead of celebrating my Heidi's milestone 12th birthday with her, I am instead observing the 18th day without her. I also have been sick with a very bad cold, cough and fever since last Saturday. I dragged myself into work Monday due to the enormous workload and urgent deadlines I still have despite the new assistants they hired. By the time I ended the chaotic workday, I also had nausea and a headache and, as discovered that evening, a 101 fever. It had only gone down to 100.5 the next morning, but even if it had not, I knew I would be in no shape to go into the office. I would need to use my final sick day of the year, most of the rest having been used by medical, dental and vet visits. I still was at 100.2 this morning and decided it would be premature to go in. Hopefully I can use one of my so-called vacation days to cover today.

I also felt it would be good to be here to welcome our tentative new family member. We decided to adopt Susie, a Great Pyrenees/Border Collie mix I'd found on petfinder.com in the Olympia area. Because Rex brought her home after dark, and because she is so timid (this having been what I believe is her fourth living environment in her short life, and the first of those having not been good), he is postponing the "meet and greet" with Archie and Jesse till tomorrow. We are praying the boys will be nice to her. She is a cute girl but is younger, smaller and much more timid than we anticipated. We were told she is friendly, affectionate, about two years old and 50 pounds. She is actually 15 months old (born Sept. 8, 2008), 43 lbs. (seems so tiny compared to the dogs we are used to having around) and spent the evening laying by the front door, only venturing to other parts of our home when led by us with a leash. She will spend the night with me in the bedroom while Rex stays in the great room with Archie (and Jesse stays in the utility room as usual), so hopefully that will go OK. I also hope the rest of the work week will go OK; I still have this stupid cough but can't take any more time off. I'd better end this for now and join little Susie in the bedroom. I know we will need to give her a little time to get used to us and to the new environment (and her two new would-be big "stepbrothers"); we should know before too long if it will work out. I understand her foster family would have kept her if we hadn't adopted her, so either way, she will have a home with someone who cares for her.

The Heidi-Shaped Hole in my Heart

2009-11-21T23:51:00.000-08:00

This is a post that I never imagined I would be writing at this time. What I did expect to write, on or about December 9th, is a post I had already decided to call, "A Milestone for Heidi". It would be written on my warm, wild, weird, woolly and wonderful Heidi's 12th birthday -- a milestone our former oldest giant dog, Tessa, fell 18 days short of reaching. It never entered my mind, with my frisky girl's only sign of old age being some stiff leg joints, that this is a milestone that God would likewise, inexplicibly, deny her as well, also 18 days short.

3 days ago, on Wed. the 18th, I'd left work early for a dental appointment and got home around 4:30. About an hour later, Heidi pawed at the pantry door -- her way of telling me she wanted some dog biscuits. I grabbed a few and put them by the dogs' bowls as usual. As Heidi went to retrieve one (she never did like to take one out of my hand), she slipped on the kitchen floor, as she did occasionally. But this time she couldn't stand back up. That had happened twice before, and we'd pushed her to the rug to get traction. But she still couldn't get back up. I was sure she would after a short while. When she still couldn't, I waited for Rex to get home and help her up, since I couldn't lift her. But she still couldn't keep her legs under her and would flop back down.

I began to panic, as this started to look like what happened when Colby's rear end had shut down 7 months earlier. I slept (or tried to) in my recliner the next two nights to be near her. She also had lost interest in eating or drinking water, and she was not peeing or pooping. Rex made an appointment with our vet for 2:30 yesterday, and I left work early to be with my girl in case this was as serious as it seemed. In the meantime, a coworker gave me hope that maybe it was just a bad case of arthritis and that a shot of cortisone could get her moving again. I then decided I would fight against Heidi getting that other kind of (final) shot unless our vet could confirm there was absolutely no hope. What he did say was he felt there was a small chance the pills could work, and I said I had to take that small chance. So we returned home with Heidi and the pills.

That night, she was her alert self and tried to fight Rex shoving the pills down her throat. She still was not eating, drinking, peeing or pooping. But she scooted on the rug to change her position till she was next to my recliner. She did a modified version of the usual swatting of my arm -- she slapped her paw on the rug to tell me she wanted to keep being petted. So of course, I did. I realize now that she was already fading and was using the strength she had left to say goodbye to her mommy and thank me for bringing her home and giving us one last night together. I didn't see it at the time; I still refused to believe she wouldn't recover. I also began squirting water or chicken broth in her mouth every couple hours with a turkey baster to get some liquid into her.

Today, she seemed to become less alert as the day wore on, and she mostly stayed in the same position. By the time Rex came home from work, she hardly fought him giving her the pills. Shortly after that, her breathing became labored for the next few hours, and stopped at about 9:45 p.m. I am writing this two hours later, and it doesn't seem real. We never saw this coming and I am left with a huge Heidi-shaped hole in my heart. After a rocky beginning when we adopted her in January '02 at age 4, she had become so very dear to me. I can't believe she won't be here to celebrate her 12th birthday, or even for Thanksgiving turkey. I am indeed thankful for 7 years, 10 months and 4 days with this wonderful girl and am thankful it happened at home with many hugs given throughout this sad day. Instead of a needle at the vet's office yesterday, we gambled that the pills would make her well and we lost. We only got to have an additional day and 7 hours with her. Mommy loves and misses you so very much, my "Swatgirl". I will love and miss you always.

A Fond Farewell.....and Hello Again......

2009-10-07T22:39:00.000-07:00

As has often been the case, I've been meaning to post this week, and it took something drastic to finally get me to do so. The fond farewell is for a tiny, special little fellow who, in a way, was my tiniest "nephew". Joshua Richard, age 10-1/2, the much-loved 4 lb. Chihuahua/Pomeranian cherished by my dearest friend Dianne, left this world at about 3:30 a.m. on Tues., Oct. 6, his wee heart losing the battle of its apparently congenital failure. I don't think it's quite sunk in yet that I will no longer, at least on this earth, be able to play fetch and tug-of-war with my little pal next time I visit Dianne's home. It never occurred to me, even though she'd had to start force-feeding him a few weeks ago following an emergency vet visit where his dormant condition was diagnosed, that my last visit a couple Saturdays ago was the last time I'd see the "pocket pooch". Since this is a loss for me as well, I can only imagine what my sweet friend is going through. I gave my Heidi extra hugs and kisses tonight from little Josh, and also cuddled a couple of our guinea pigs. Josh was such a lively, lovable fellow and I know we hoped and expected we would get to enjoy him for many more years (his dad Ricky lived to age 18; his mom Chica is 16 or 17). I'll never forget all the times I played fetch with him and how amazingly strong his little jaws were as he hung on to his toy while I pretended to struggle to claim it. I would have had to pull really hard, which of course I wouldn't. I wish I could be there to comfort Dianne, to do more than pray and ask those on my online lists to pray (though of course, that is important), instead of being tied to my crazy job where I'm pulled in so many different directions lately that it's hard to see straight. Dianne, not wanting to think about going home today to not be greeted by her "little man", mentioned the desire to go on a sleigh ride with me this December in Leavenworth (a Bavarian-themed village a few hours away), which sounds really good right about now. Chica's health is also failing and her dad is in frail condition, and all this is really wearing on her. She's having one of those months like I had in July 2004 when, all in the same month, our dog Tessa died, I got stitches in my wrist and a broken finger from an accidental bite from my dog Jesse, we learned my mother-in-law was terminally ill, and I was laid off (from a job I hated, but even so....). Things do get better, but it never feels that way at the time. ANYWAY....sleep tight, tiny angel boy -- and if there is a doggie heaven, your mom and auntie will again have a chance to play fetch and tug-of-war with you.........

One good thing that happened today, literally one of the most hectic days I've had at my hectic job, was when a few minutes before I went home, our two new office assistants (who have been doing a great job) surprised me with a Whitman's Sampler box of candy, a Thriftway gift card and a sweet thank-you card for my help in training them. Having gotten negative feedback not long ago from my bosses for what they perceive as not dealing with phone customers as I should and letting an occasional detail of literally hundreds a day fall through the cracks, I don't think these gals know how much their gesture means to me, to know someone there actually does value and appreciate me.

The "hello again" has to do with an unexpected decision I made regarding my church situation. I'd left a church I absolutely loved at the end of May due to disagreements with its governing body, the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA). Though my church was/is traditional as ELCA churches go and I doubt many members agree with the ELCA on many issues, I decided I could no longer in good conscience remain in an ELCA churches. During the next four months, I visited 6 churches, 3 of them non-ELCA Lutheran, as far as 18 miles away, anywhere from one to four times. The only church that attracted me as much as the one I left was PCUSA Presbyterian, which I would have as much difference with as I do with the ELCA, and it was twice the distance. So that wouldn't make much sense. A couple weeks ago, I thought I'd made the decision to commit to an LCMS Lutheran church 11 miles away, though it's small and has no choir. But the following Sunday, I began to doubt that decision too. I laid awake half that night and realized I'd never stopped thinking about the church I left and how many of the people felt like family. I also thought about seeing one of the members on the ferry the week before and learning about 60% of the congregation had voted in opposition to the recent ELCA rulings on certain issues, and that there would be another big vote later this month to determine whether our congregation would decide to initiate action to leave the ELCA. So I knew that my four-month search would lead me back to the place where I know I belong. I returned there this past Sunday and know it was the right decision. But it's sad to know that the next vote two Sundays from now will likely result in a split of our church. The other two ELCA churches in town are experiencing the same thing. So it could be that one of our churches could eventually become LCMS and many of us will end up there -- or many of us will start our own LCMS church. Whatever happens, it's encouraging to know that the majority of the people in this church that I love are of like mind on these issues, and whatever building we end up worshipping at in the coming months, we will be together. I will post here again following the crucial vote 11 days from now.

As for the wonderful world of crochet, I've been back to making Barbie gowns. I made a jewel-toned variegated blue/fuchsia/plum gown for my Asian Barbie, which turned out great, and then I started on a huge undertaking -- a Barbie wedding party. I've completed the gowns for the two bridesmaids (two different but harmonious styles in two-tone pink and rose) and flower girl (a 7-1/2" Stacie doll, also pink and rose) and have been working on the Ken doll groom. His pants, briefs and shirt are done and am now working on his jacket. Then it's on to the elaborate beaded Victorian bridal gown. I'm more than a little annoyed that I can't locate the accessories I bought awhile back for her gown - over 1,100 cream beads, cream satin lining, cream tulle for her veil, and several yards of lace. I went through my entire craft closet to no avail and am at a loss. If I have to repurchase that stuff, so be it, but I obviously would rather not, so hopefully it will turn up. I've also been working on charity baby items - a one-piece, two-tone baby bunting at the moment (Bernat Softee baby yarn; dark rose along with the variegated rose/green/yellow/white Summer Ombre I've used now for several items; such pretty yarn). As with all my other recent projects, pictures coming on the crochet section of evergreenrefuge.org in the not-too-distant future!

I just realized I didn't get around to posting here in September, my birth month. I'd planned a trip on Labor Day weekend to Bellingham and Whidbey Island, taking the side roads north rather than the highway and stopping in other towns along the way. I was really looking forward to it. Then with the rainy forecast, I reluctantly decided to skip the Bellingham part of the trip but still fully intended an overnighter to Whidbey Island. The morning of the trip, it was raining so hard that "Bianca" started hydroplaning on the highway a couple times, which was scary and not at all relaxing. I absolutely didn't want to cancel my abbreviated trip, but I didn't feel safe. So after driving 30 miles, I pulled off the highway, called the hotel and they were nice about letting me cancel with no penalty. I treated myself to a McDonald's breakfast, made stops at Joann's and Michael's where I picked up a few things, then went home and weeded through the clothes in my closet, which I did need to do. But I was really disappointed to not be taking my long-awaited mini-vacation, especially when the rain literally slowed down and then stopped after I cancelled the hotel -- figures!! As we Chicago Cubs fans have become all too used to saying, "Wait till next year............"

The Long Hot Week, The Medium Hot Crochet Hook, and the Short Cool Piggie

2009-08-09T17:52:00.001-07:00

It's been two weeks ago now, the last week of July 2009, that we here in western Washington who are so used to (spoiled by) beautiful moderate to cool summer weather the majority of the time survived the hottest week we have EVER experienced in this area. It got to 103 degrees one day in the towns where I live and work, as well as officially at Sea-Tac Airport (a couple degrees hotter in other towns), and in the high 90s on, I believe, 3 other days. As hard as that was to endure in our non-air conditioned home and offices (the new ceiling fan Rex had installed a few weeks before in the great room directly above my recliner was a blessing and a tremendous help), I was more concerned about our very furry dogs and guinea pigs, especially Heidi, being age 11-1/2. But it stayed pretty decent in our well insulated home, so we all made it through. I'm so glad we are back to our typical highs in the 60s and 70s. I had not experienced anything this hot since my fun but ill-timed visit to Vegas last Sept. and could NOT live anywhere where this hell on earth took place even occasionally, let alone regularly! I don't know how people do it, even if they have air conditioning. I had more of a scare with Heidi almost a week ago, in the evening. She slipped on the linoleum and couldn't regain her balance to get up and walk. I had to push her onto the carpet and was terrified her back end was shutting down, as happened with Colby and Farley shortly before they passed. But after a nap on the carpet, she was able to walk and it hasn't happened again, thank the Lord. Rex is giving her extra glucasomine for her joints in addition to what's in her food. I love my girl SO much and NEED to have her with me as long as God will allow us to have her.

I finally got something done this weekend that I've needed to get done for too long - got my latest crochet projects photographed with my very trusty Nikon L5 Coolpix camera and discovered I had enough to add TWO new crochet pages to evergreenrefuge.org. So I'm very glad to announce that Crochet page 4 and Crochet page 5 are ready for your viewing pleasure, featuring my Barbie angels, larger dressed-up dollies and latest ghans including the semi-original Rose Pineapple! Having visited a church a week ago that MAY be the one I end up being a part of and having been anxious to visit there again today, I was disappointed when Rex told me this a.m. that "Bianca" has a flat tire and he wouldn't be able to tend to it till tomorrow. But in one way it was a blessing in disguise, since it gave me time to complete my new crochet pages!

The only other thing that's new lately (aside from more of a skeleton crew at work than ever the previous two workdays, with Chris and Stephen both out for a few days; they're interviewing new assistants but no one has been hired yet) is our newest guinea pig, Connor, who Rex found on Freecycle (where he's found most of our other piggies). So now we are back up to six piggies. He joined our household a couple weeks ago (I'll find and post the exact date to my furballs3 page soon) and has settled in well. He's a very cute (and friendly but very squirmy) albino with pink eyes and two-tone short beige and white fur and is about a year and a half old. We tried to pair him with Cinnamon, but Mr. Lone Wolf wasn't nice to him and seems to continue to want to be a solo act, and it was too crowded having him in the same cage with Harry and Joey. So he is in his own cage but doing fine and enjoying his daily veggies. We've lost four piggies in the past year and pray the six we have now stay happy and healthy for the foreseeable future! I really need to get photos of them on my furballs3 page but will need to do that on a weekend day when Rex is home so that he can hold them in place while I snap the pics. They're all a bit skiddish and we don't want them trying to scamper off and getting hurt. Well, I'll hit "publish" now and hope to have more definite news next time about church, relief at work, and vacation (leaning toward taking a brief auto trip here in beautiful western Washington and saving a longer trip for next year).

Some Things Old, Some Things New, Some Things Up in the Air

2009-07-23T00:22:00.000-07:00

Let's start with the new things. So far, there are two. Several weeks ago, the then-new Compaq laptop (my first new, not used or refurbished) I began using in June '07 when we moved into our LONG-awaited home, began acting quite sluggish, despite the relatively fast cable connection we've enjoyed since Sept. '07. I attributed this to needing more memory beyond the 512 MB it came with. But before I had a chance to buy and install additional memory, the toy began acting very strangely. It would stay on for awhile and then turn itself off. I thought, wow, it's REALLY low on memory. Staples happened to have a half-price sale on tech services, so I decided to take it there to be tuned up and get 2 GB memory installed. To my shock, apparently the free AVG anti-virus protection I'd trusted all along was free for a reason. Two viruses had gotten through and damaged my toy. It would have cost $369 to restore it. Rex and I decided that for not a lot more, we could get a nice new one -- and so we did. Staples didn't have the exact one we wanted at the price we could justify but Office Depot, across the road, did. It's a Toshiba Satellite with a whopping 3 GB memory. We've had it a few weeks now and enjoying it thoroughly. It's the first Toshiba we've had (all the others have been Compaq) but I'm sure it won't be the last. (And we have it protected with a heavy-duty trial version of Norton 360, which we'll buy when the trial period is over. I don't want to take any chances with this honey of a machine!)

The second new addition happened just today (or actually yesterday, since it's now after midnight). We're back up to six guinea pigs. I noticed Rex kept looking in the bottom cage where our darling Harry and Joey live (who I call the "glamour boys" since they are both so pretty with their long silky fur) and this concerned me. I kept asking, the boys are OK, aren't they? He assured me they were, and I peeked myself and saw nothing unusual. About 10:30 tonight, he placed a piggy in my lap. I looked at this furball, a shorthaired albino with beige and white fur, and said. "Who are you?" Rex said his name is Connor and he's a year and a half old. He is very sweet and docile; doesn't seem skiddish like our other piggies. I hadn't even noticed him in the cage with Harry and Joey; he was hiding in the igloo. (Rex had first tried putting him with Cinnamon, but Cinnamon wants to continue being Mr. Lone Wolf.) So far things are going fine with Harry and Joey, but we have another cage to put Connor in if it looks like that will work better. We'll see!

There are also, of course, new things that I've crocheted, but that goes without saying. I still have not gotten around to photographing the many new items that I need to photograph and place on a 4th crochet page on my site. I definitely need to do that very soon. Since I posted last, I've completed outfits for three of my four 16" to 18" girl dolls, and they all turned out beautiful, if I do say so. I'm anxious to get the pics taken and posted so others can see them. I then made a baby ghan (for a future gift or charity) using a color combo of Bernat Softee Baby that I fell in love with on my most recent weekend excursion with Dianne. The colors are soft red (more of a deep rose), fresh green (a bright apple green) and summer ombre, a variegated containing these colors as well as light yellow and white. I found it such a refreshing change from the usual pastel baby yarn. The pattern I used is "Gentle Ripple", a ripple variation using puff stitches and mesh rows, which is fun to make and pretty. I'll use this pattern again in the future for both baby and full-size ghans. I then had enough yarn left for a baby layette. I just made a V-stitch jacket and will make the hat and booties next. After that, I'll make a little outfit for my 20" baby boy doll in a light blue. Pics of all this WILL be coming in the near future!

There are also currently two things that are up in the air -- my church and my vacation. As I posted a month ago, I did make the VERY difficult decision to leave a church I loved due to what I realized were irreconcilable differences with its governing body -- something I wish I'd researched further before I got so involved and attached. The last service I attended there was May 31st, Pentecost Sunday. Since then, I've visited 4 churches. I've narrowed things down more and feel I'll know what I'm supposed to do about this situation in 2 or 3 more weeks. That's all I'll say about this for now till I make a decision as to where God would have me attend and serve Him.

I made another difficult decision -- to not visit Vancouver, BC over Labor Day weekend and my birthday, as I originally planned to do. The "enhanced driver's license" which is now required for entry into Canada turned out to be more of a hassle to obtain than I expected. I'm thinking about maybe taking the train to Portland again, even though I've been there, since I love going there and it's been four years. Or maybe I'll just do something local with Dianne. Again, we shall see!

The something old is a lot of things -- my job, which is a good thing even though we are more shorthanded than ever (with the two people who quit unexpectedly last month) and the place mentally exhausts me with all the constant changing gears all day, every day. They just placed an ad for another assistant to help with more of the mundane things I don't have time to do, and Elfi (who's supposed to be semi-retired) offered to train this person, which I was glad to hear, since I sure don't have time to train them! And the other old things remain my bod, my attitude, my insomnia and headaches, my lack of spiritual growth (the right church will hopefully help with that last one) -- all the things I constantly pray for help with and yet they never seem to change. I remain a disgusting 45-ish pounds overweight, I'm sitting here blogging after 1:00 a.m. on a weeknight when I have to get up for work in less than 6 hours, and I know doing these same things will net the same results, yet I keep doing them. Whoever may be reading this, please pray these things begin turning around. I get SO tired of waiting and sometimes I give up hope. I didn't want to end this post on a down note, and part of me DOES have hope that I won't always be a chubby, sluggish insomniac. But I NEED some divine intervention here and a giant kick-start, however that has to be accomplished. HELP, Lord.........

Rosie, Vacations, Ghans, Dolls, and Doctrine

2009-06-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

I never intended to be over two months between posts again. I don't like waiting this long between posts since there is always the chance I'll forget something I intended to write about. Part of the reason is that, with my having recorded so many old 20s to 60s movies this year from Turner Classic Movies on my DVR and having to keep up on watching them so the DVR doesn't fill up - and the DVR being in one room while the computer's in the other - it limits my time on the computer. I often finally get around to checking my E-mail around midnight and by then (especially on weekdays) it's too late to do much else. Even that takes long enough that I inevitably get to bed too late, and then it's on to my job which continues to be mentally tiring with all the constant shifting gears all day, every day. They've started a summer schedule where one of us works an early shift once a week on a rotating day. My day this week is Friday. So I'll get home at 4, which will be nice, but I'll have to get up not much later than 5, YAWN. So I decided I'll finally do this long-overdue post, put away the laundry, and then off to bed...

It's a shame that it took the loss of yet another sweet pet, the third this year already, to finally push me to write this entry. A few days ago, Rex said, "I think we're losing Rosie" - Rosemary, our pretty black and orange Abyssinian guinea pig, who passed away sometime during our workday yesterday. Her cagemate, Meg, died in late January. Rosie had seemed fine but she suddenly stopped eating and drinking water a few days ago. Rex knew there was something wrong when she just let her broccoli sit; she used to devour it. As with our other piggies that passed, we don't know what happened. She was about 4-1/2. She was one of our most skiddish piggies, always scurrying away whenever we tried to pick her up, but also one of the prettiest and with one of the loudest squeaks. We will miss this sweet little girl, and are now down to 5 piggies. Thankfully, they all seem fine, but this type of thing seems to happen quickly and with no warning....

I've gotten together with Dianne a couple times since writing last. When we got together in April, and inevitably ended up in a quilting store since she is now a quilter in addition to being a crocheter, I ended up falling in love with a purse pattern that converts from a handbag to a backpack, and buying the pattern and 3 beautiful coordinating fabrics to make it. I still have a sewing machine but have not used it for many, many years, having chosen to be exclusively a crocheter for a very long time. So when I'll ever get around to actually making this dang purse is anybody's guess!

The last time Dianne and I got together, it was to go on our mini-vacation to the Long Beach peninsula from May 16-18. I took Friday the 15th as a day off work and went to her house late that afternoon; we spent the evening crocheting as usual and left at 8:30-ish that morning. I meant to write this a few weeks ago so that I could remember more details of what we did. But in general, though it's always fun to see new places, most of the Long Beach peninsula was somewhat disappointing for both of us. Long Beach itself was cute but touristy, the towns of Seaview and Ocean Park were nice but not much to do, Ilwaco had a pretty lake and park but not a lot else. A highlight was Oysterville, most of which is a historic landmark and consisting of original homes and a cute little old church, mostly built in the 1800s. The place in Seaview which Dianne had found online that we reserved to stay at, to say it was a disappointment would be a gross understatement. It turned out to be very rundown, so much so that I was grateful that Dianne had the courage to make a long list of the various things wrong with the room and present it to the owner, who consented to refunding us for the second night which freed us to find better accomodations. We spent our second evening at a Christian-owned resort, Sunset View in Ocean Park; the room was very pleasant and the grounds were beautiful. It helped to make up for the first evening in the dump.

We had originally planned to stay at a pretty place called Anchorage Cottages in Long Beach, but Dianne wanted to bring all three of her tiny dogs and Anchorage would only allow two of the dogs, despite their all being well-behaved, age 10 to 16, and tiny. We didn't want to leave Chica, age 16, behind. But in retrospect, we should have. The poor girl didn't travel well; she was very nervous and peed in her doggie stroller at least three times. It also got tricky to handle all three when we wanted to go into stores. But you know what they say about hindsight! The other mistake was not getting a room with a separate bedroom. Dianne and I have totally different body clocks; she's a morning person and I am NOT. So, being in the same room where it was well past her usual bedtime and nowhere near mine, we drove each other nuts. Again, hindsight!

On the final day of our excursion, a Monday, we stopped in Astoria, Oregon before heading back to Dianne's place, since we were already so close to there. I hadn't been there for years and all I can say is that I didn't feel it lived up to its billing as "little San Francisco" in the promo material we read! At least the weather stayed nice throughout our trip - till my 35-mile trip home from Dianne's house, when it rained the whole time. I also wished I'd taken the following day off work as well; I got home after 8 p.m. and it was hard getting back to the old grind!

On to crocheting - let's see, when I posted last, I was finishing up the light green and pink Irish Roses ghan. I finished that, then I made a popcorn ripple ghan in burgundy, cream and light green. Then, for a final ghan for my home (I already have too many, but....), I very much wanted a mostly cream ghan with big burgundy roses with green leaves. I tried a couple of patterns but didn't like either. What to do?? Well, having seen after all these decades that I CAN improvise without a pattern, as I did on that final Barbie angel, I thought, well, COULD I start with someone else's flower motif and make up a square from there? Well, why not? So, when I was at Dianne's back in April, I looked through her patterns. I settled on a Maggie Weldon flower, motif #2 in the book, "99 Crochet Motifs". I made the flower and the row of green leaves surrounding it. I looked at it and realized that for the huge square I wanted to make, it needed another row of leaves. So I made one up, consisting of double and triple cluster stitches. THEN I switched to cream and carefully proceeded to make a four-pineapple design on a double crochet background, using my knowledge of how pineapple patterns are constructed. I edged the square in sc in the same green as the leaves, and finally, added chain loops for a "join as you go" square. Ta daaaaa!! This ghan is now done and it is gorgeous!! Below is a pic of that first original square. I'm delayed in photographing my recent ghans and dolls due to my digital camera needing better rechargeable batteries which I'll buy soon; they barely stayed charged for this one pic!

I'm now working on outfits for my few 16" to 18" girl dolls. These are being made of worsted weight yarn so they are going much faster than the thread Barbie gowns. I'm 98% finished with a burgundy Victorian outfit (ran out of the Bernat Berella cream for her overskirt; ordered more this week) and well underway with a dark pink outfit.

The last part of the title of this post has to do with my dilemma regarding my church. As I've shared here, I've been attending a Lutheran church that I love since last July and joined the church in Feb., despite some lingering questions about certain doctrinal issues, since I love the services and the people. I won't go into the specifics here, but my church is ELCA which is the largest and most liberal variety of Lutheran. At the same time my church is very traditional with weekly communion and beautiful old music, yet with a warmth I haven't found elsewhere. (I've become so attracted now to this style of worship as opposed to "a sermon and a few praise jingles on a screen" found in most evangelical churches, and even some Lutheran churches for that matter.) So it has more of the feel of an LCMS church, the variety I feel more in tune with doctrinally. Yet, it's not. The latest struggle for me is learning that the famous abortionist who was recently killed was an usher in an ELCA church. Now, I definitely don't feel it was right that this man was murdered. But I also wonder, why would a church welcome as a member someone who's been instrumental in the destruction of thousands of babies AND have him serving as an usher?? So -- a couple of weeks ago, I visited an LCMS church that's only a few miles further away than my current church, and I did like it. But should I leave a church I love because of my differences with its governing body? OUCH. I just don't know. I may need to sit down and talk to the pastor at this other church; he's presently out of town. As with so many other areas of my life -- to be continued!

The "L" Words -- and the "K" Word

2009-04-13T12:32:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Easter Sunday. That means the season of Lent (my first "l" word) has now ended -- a season which my former Evangelical church paid almost no attention to. I love the fact that is not the case with liturgical (another "l" word) churches such as my small traditional Lutheran (another "l" word!) church. A few weeks ago I asked Pastor Liz (yes, another "l") if Lutherans are supposed to give up something for Lent. She said it was optional, but I thought it would be a good thing to give up some of the carbs (which I will not specifically name here, but God knows what they are) I crave the most. So I did that. Then I started getting a major craving for one of them last week. I looked online to try to determine what day Lent ended and the answer appeared to be Maundy Thursday, the day before Good Friday. So at lunchtime, I gave in to buying my #1 craved carb (which didn't even taste all that irresistible to me - so I've again abstained since then). I hope I didn't err by breaking my Lent fast from this item too soon (even though it's not mandatory in my church) since I subsequently heard Lent didn't officially end till Easter. But it's one of the many things I can't undo!

We had a somber but very nice Good Friday service in which the youth read the Scriptures, and Rex entered the sanctuary a few minutes late, so he stayed in the back row so as not to be disruptive (I was already there since our choir sang at the end -- the beautiful "Tis Midnight and on Olive's Brow"). He didn't say a thing afterwards about the service. It's still too different for him compared to Evangelical services. I was hoping he would come with me for Easter but I felt he wouldn't, and I was right. Hopefully one day. We had a really beautiful and upbeat Easter service preceded by a yummy Easter potluck, for which I made a sausage, mushroom, egg andcheese casserole (all of which got eaten).

Another "l" word is Long Beach -- as in the scenic area on the Washington coast where Dianne and I hoped to stay for two days last year before things got too precarious with her parents' health. She kept going back and forth as to whether we should shoot for mid-May this year or wait till Sept. I kept hoping for a decision on her part, since the "Knit and Crochet Show" in Portland is the same weekend and there were a couple of classes there I was interested in taking. She was not interested in going, but I took a solo vaca to Portland in '05 and had a great time. I would have done that again this year, and thought I would when the cottage we hoped to reserve said they changed their rule regarding dogs and would only let us bring two of her three toy dogs. She would have had to leave Chica behind with Lisa, and I am very fond of Chica. I told Dianne, let's wait till Sept. to go away together, which would give us time to research somewhere else to go. But she was determined we would go to Long Beach in May and found 2 other places online. The first, uh, let's just say they don't cater to conservative Christians like us! But the other place sounded nice and did not list a limit on number of dogs one could bring. I called them and we ended up with a similar cottage to the other place at a lower price, and can bring all three dogs. So no Portland trip this year, but that also means I may look into a solo trip for a few days to Vancouver, BC for my birthday in Sept. (No more 105 in the shade destinations like Vegas last year!)

Another "l" word that's been on my mind is "life expectancy" (OK. that's two words) as in dogs. After Colby passed, I Googled "life expectancy Samoyed" and most of the sources said it's 12 to 15 years. We never knew Colby's birthdate since he was a stray, but his age was estimated at 4 when we adopted him and we had him just over 7 years. So that means he was a bit under the average life expectancy. I don't know if there's a lot we could have done about that. He stopped wanting to go on walks a couple years ago, which he needed to do since he was so overweight. So that could have affected his back end going lame like it did at the end. We gave him a good home and I trust he was happy with us, and aside from getting yappy most every night, he was a good dog. I then looked up life expectancy for Great Pyrenees. Most sources said 11 to 12, with a few going a bit above that. Rex and I feel our precious Heidi, who is now 11 years and 4 months, will beat those odds. She is trim, frisky and healthy, with no problems following the removal of that awful-looking benign cyst last fall. She is also my most special baby girl and I NEED to have her with me as long as possible.

Yet another "l" word is "lazy", which I have been in the whole area of exercising. I've finally been walking to the dock from the park n'ride and back each workday, with the weather finally cooperating. But I need to do more than that. I need to either take long walks or get on my stepper on the weekends, and I haven't done that for a long time. Today I decided I would "splurge" and spend the $5 to park in the lot at the ferry dock. I parked in the "back forty" since those machines accept cash payments, and rationalized that at least this way, I'd still get in over 20% of the full walk to the park n'ride. I didn't get to sleep late Saturday (the reason has to do with the "k" word, explained below) and also had to get up early (for nightowl me) Sunday to get the breakfast casserole in the oven and be at church for breakfast at 8:30. So I figured this would make an easier start to my work week. But at $5 a day, and with the lack of exercise that results, this is a "splurge" I won't often be allowing myself, though it continues to be SO frustrating that the evening walk (slightly uphill and with my being tired after a full day at work) exhausts me so. It wouldn't if I could ever lose this 6 gallons of milk I continue to carry around (one gallon weighing about 8 pounds). But my eating level remains such that the weight doesn't budge despite the 15-ish extra miles of weekly walking....

Now for the "K" word -- that other (and inexplicably more popular) yarn craft, the one I tried on my own to learn a few times over the years, mainly to see what the fuss was about, but also because I've often thought it would be nice to just know the basics and maybe even change off occasionally. In unsuccessfully trying to learn a few times in the past, it often occurred to me that it would be so much more of a hassle to try to coordinate two to four needles than just one hook. But yet, so many women swear by this other craft, and yarn stores cater to those who do it and barely acknowledge us crocheters. So I've often thought, I should have someone try to give me a private lesson, since I've been unable to learn from any videos or books, just to see, once and for all, if this is something I can do and want to do, or if I should officially just forget it! I was supposed to have a lesson with Beverly from my South Sound yarn and fiber group last year, but that didn't happen. Last month, I went to the first evening "K***-in" at the new yarn shop in my town, and virtually everyone was doing the "K" craft while I crocheted my Irish Roses afghan. After that, I said, OK, I'm going to have this lesson. That's the only way I will resolve this in my mind. After all, thousands of women do it and love it, so how hard could it be? I went to the shop two weekends ago and scheduled the lesson for 1:00 p.m. this past Sat., the 11th. They recommended I learn the Continental method which, as both a left-hander and experienced crocheter, they claimed would be easiest for me to learn. Then, assuming I would finally learn the basics, I spent a good amount of time at knittingpatterncentral.com finding several cute dishcloths I expected to soon be able to make.

The teacher called the evening before and asked if I could come at 10:00 a.m. instead of 1:00 p.m. which I agreed to even though it meant I wouldn't be able to lounge in bed half the morning. I won't go into all the gory details of how I couldn't even hold the needles the right way let alone figure out how to pick the yarn the right way and feed it through the other needle and off the first one to make an actual stitch. We didn't even get to the purl stitch, which she said was more complicated. I could see the writing on the wall after just a few minutes of this lunacy. (When something is just not happening, why force the issue?) After numerous tries, during which I made an actual stitch a few times just by accident but was not enjoying myself in the least and kept asking myself what I was doing here, the teacher said it appeared I was throwing the yarn (which is supposed to be the right hander's preferred method) rather than picking, and maybe I should take a lesson in English style rather than Continental. I told her I would think about it and that I would practice some more, while thinking to myself, "Noooooooo!" and being excited to now officially confirm what I suspected all these years:

I will never be a knitter. I don't WANT to be a knitter. I am SO absolutely fine with not being a knitter!!! I am a devoted, passionate, addicted CROCHETER -- and after trying in vain to be something I'm not, I love my beautiful craft even more than ever. I am more mystified than ever why yarn shops cater to knitters and treat people like me like the stepchildren of the craft world. I don't understand why so many women choose to k*** when they can CROCHET. I can crochet anything they can k*** and it will be prettier! I'd better stop ranting here lest I offend anyone; I honestly do admire people who can k*** beautifully and respect the love they have for their craft. But I am relieved that I don't have to waste any more time wondering if I can or would ever want to do it, and don't have to spend more money I can't afford on needles and k*** patterns. CROCHET RULES!!!! And I will continue to talk it up when I go to that yarn store and hope my craft, and those of us who love it, will begin to get the respect and attention we deserve.

I have not entirely ruled out the possibility of taking a private lesson in loom (another "l" word!) knitting, which supposedly can be learned by those of us who can't master fumbling with two or more needles. I wasn't able to learn that from a book either and don't know anyone who teaches it locally, but I found a gal online 2 hours from me who does, which would be a nice little overnight trip. I also am still interested in seeing if I can learn Tunisian crochet, which does look like knitting but uses just one hook.

As for my crochet projects, I mentioned the Irish Roses ghan. I'm now working steadily to finish it after just bringing sections of it on my commute while concentrating on the Barbie angels at home. I finished my fifth and final angel last week (well, 7 if you count the two I made for Dianne and for Val). I think she turned out best of all even though I improvised a bit. I wanted a fifth angel since that was the amount of room on top of our tv cabinet where they are displayed, but didn't like the stitch of the fifth pattern in the booklet. I tried two other patterns but didn't like either and ripped both out. I finally went with the Silhouette Dress, one of four Barbie dresses I used to sell at craft fairs, making the straight part of her skirt a few rows longer. Her wings and halo I made up as I went along, using the same stitch from the dress but the shape and size of the wings and haloes in the booklet. I used straw (light gold) #10 Opera thread and she's beautiful! I hope to take pics of all of them soon for my upcoming crochet page 4 on my site. Well, my lunch hour at work is long gone, so back to work....

And Then There Were Three.....

2009-03-21T19:51:00.001-07:00

When I posted only 12 days ago about our Samoyed, Colby, showing signs of aging, I had no idea the end was so near. I guess we had a little more warning than with Farley, whose lame back end came with hardly any warning. But still, you think, he's just getting older. He'll be able to hang in there for some time. We don't mind having to lift up his back legs to get him up the steps; he's a trooper and he'll be fine otherwise. Then a couple evenings ago when we grilled burgers, he didn't touch his half a burger all the dogs get, so we thought, that's not a good sign. Then last evening after work, I wasn't able to pull him up out of the indentation in the ground he'd been laying in outside all day. Still, I figured, OK, when Rex gets here, he'll pull him out, he'll be OK. Rex got home and barely dragged Colby into the bedroom - where he remained, no longer able to move his back end and apparently with no desire to ingest anything except water. Rex has seen this type of thing with dogs at the kennel before and knew Colby was beyond a trip to the vet, except for that one final dreaded trip. WIth our regular vet not working weekends, he brought Colby to a vet his employer deals with for that final trip and is outside building a coffin as I write this. I went to the ladies' spring luncheon at church this afternoon where I tried unsuccessfully to hold it together. What a cruddy first weekend of spring this has turned out to be.

There's more about Colby and our life with him in the furballs section of evergreenrefuge.org. Unlike when we lost Gus, then Farley, then Tessa, we will not be looking for a fourth dog. A new girl dog could upset Heidi, who remains my most special baby at age 11 (but is thankfully doing great) -- and Archie and Jesse already don't get along indoors without trying to introduce another boy dog. But now we hope to be able to let Jesse sleep in our bedroom with us at night instead of his being cooped up in the utility room so much (he didn't get along with Colby either - and Colby needed to be in the bedroom with us due to his separation anxiety). So that will be a good thing for Jesse, and also for us to spend more time with Jesse. RIP, sweet Colby. You were a blessing to us since we adopted you as a 4-year-old on Feb. 26, 2002 (and especially to Heidi who you helped change from a "wild thing" to a calm and affectionate "furry daughter"). Love and kisses, your "mom"

The Winter That Never Ends

2009-03-09T23:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't intend to let several weeks go by again without posting here. I also would not have expected that when I finally posted again on March 9th, the hard winter we've gone through this season would still be continuing. Like Rex has often said, "I left Chicago to get away from this stuff!" The snow that fell Saturday night and again today didn't stick, but the fact that it did even snow (and came down hard for awhile there) and the lows are still in the low 20s, with spring only 12 days away on the calendar, has not been expected or welcomed, and has made this feel like the winter that never ends. We went to Daylight Savings Time yesterday, so I should be walking now in the evenings from the dock to the park n'ride, which I haven't been able to do since late Oct. due to the darkness, as well as walking from there to the dock in the mornings. But it's just been too darn cooooold! I imagine there will come a day this summer when it will get up around 90 (which thankfully is rare but does happen), and 20's with even a little snow will sound refreshing. But I am far from that point. I want SPRING!! At least we don't live in Snohomish County up north, where they got a few inches of the white stuff. And I do like that's it's light out now till after 7:00.

Several things have happened since I posted last. We received word that Rex's dear sister Val's husband Joe passed away on Jan. 28th at age 71. It wasn't a total shock, since we knew Joe had been battling cancer for several years. But I felt so badly for Val, who survived a heart attack last year, and who we couldn't afford to travel 2,000 miles to KY to be with her. I E-mailed her and told her I wanted to make her a Barbie angel and to please let me know what color hair and dress she'd like. At that time I'd made two angels for myself and a third that I'd decided to give Dianne for her birthday in Feb. Val said she would like a blonde with a blue dress. I'll eventually get pictures of all the Barbie angels placed on crochet page #4 on my site. But I'll go ahead and post Val and Dianne's angels here:

This is Val's angel. I was really pleased with how she turned out. Rex and I never knew Joe very well; he always kept to himself, really quite opposite of her. But they were married for a lot of years, so I know they had a great marriage.

The day after Joe died, we lost another of our sweet little guinea pigs, Meg. She was the one that, based on what I read online about agoutis (which was actually what she was; a South American relative of a guinea pig), I thought would outlive all the others. They are supposed to be much longer-lived than guinea pigs, but (if the age we were told when we adopted her was accurate), she was only 4. As with the other piggies we've lost suddenly in the past year, we don't know what went wrong. She was quite inactive compared to the other piggies, but we attributed that to her having a calmer nature and not to anything being wrong. So now we are down to six piggies, which thankfully all seem fine, including Meg's cagemate Rosie. I once again regret still not having gotten around to taking pictures of the piggies, even though I will never forget how each of them looked and acted, so I could share them on my "furballs 3" page on my site. I definitely need to do that before we lose any more.

Three of our four precious dogs are also fine. However, our Colby is beginning to show signs of aging. We know he is at least 11, since his estimated age was 4 when we adopted him 7 years ago (2/26/02) as a stray, and we also know he is very overweight. Lately, he has experienced stiffness in his back legs and sometimes gets stuck when trying to climb back up the three front steps to come back inside. We have to get behind him and lift his back legs slightly so that he can get up the steps. He also sometimes whimpers, which he didn't use to do, and we hope he's not in pain. We pray he doesn't wind up like Farley, who lost total usage of his back end when he was not yet 11 and we had to have him put to sleep. We're not ready to say goodbye to Colby yet.

Dianne and I had a great day together on Sat., Feb. 14th for her birthday. She wanted to go to Vashon Island, which she had never been to, but which I've seen 5 days a week since May '06 since, of course, I work there. But I figured it would be fun to go on a weekend and know I didn't have to rush back to the office, and it was. I told Dianne her timing was amazing, since the quilting store in town had just expanded and moved to the main business strip, and she has gotten into quilting the past couple years. So of course, we spent some time in that store and others, had a nice meal at the Green Ginger (my favorite restaurant on the island), and did some lovely sightseeing at Point Robinson lighthouse and Gold Beach. There is still much of the island we didn't get to see, so we will go back another time. Afterwards we went back to her home and crocheted, and she opened her presents from me which included a beautiful beaded evening bag I found on eBay (which she used for her birthday dinner with her family the next day) and the Barbie angel pictured below.

I now have also completed three angels for myself and started the fourth and what may be the final one. I have several other lovely Barbies to crochet for but will move on to other types of fancy outfits for them, including the bride I hope to complete later this year. I also want to crochet clothes for my 4 16 to 18" girl dolls and my newborn-size baby boy doll. I just acquired the 4th 18" girl doll; I found an imitation American Girl doll on eBay for a great price and she arrived today. She has red hair and is very pretty. I may take a break from the Barbies and create an outfit for her next.

In a long line of firsts at my new church (which I officially joined on Feb. 1st), I experienced my first Lenten service last Wednesday, and my first Ash Wednesday service the week before. I love going to a church where we observe Ash Wednesday, Lent and Advent. I continue to marvel at how beautiful and meaningful the Lutheran services are and how much they minister to me. I just wish Rex felt the same. It's still all a bit too different for him. I just donated 7 scarves and 4 hats to my church; the proceeds for the sales of any of them will go to the Relay for Life cause (cancer prevention). I will be walking in the wee small hours in this relay with a team from church. More on that when the time comes! Dianne and I are also supposed to be going on the trip to Long Beach, WA that we had to postpone last year, in mid-May, at which time I expect to be at my job three years. Hard to believe, after all those years of temp jobs, wrong jobs and layoffs. This job has been very stressful at times, but I like most of what I do there and it pays the bills (and it beats having to get up at 5:45 or earlier which I had to do for years - though I may still eventually need to do that again one day - but it's been nice to have a break from that schedule, especially with my insomnia getting worse in recent years. Speaking of which, it's 1:00 and I need to at least try to get some sleep now....).

White Christmases Are Overrated

2008-12-26T00:12:00.000-08:00

I seem to recall that around last New Year's, I was writing a post I was almost done writing that suddenly vanished, and I had to sit and redo the whole thing. It just happened again. I was literally on the last few words of this post, which I decided to write from a Blogger "gadget" I put on my "My Google" page to save time, when for no reason, Google suddenly refreshed itself and my post was gone. I was just writing how I should go to bed, with it being a workday, but that as usual around midnight, I wasn't really sleepy. But now, with the prospect of writing this all over again, suddenly I am. But I may as well do this now, or I'll be laying in bed thinking about it and have to get up and do it anyway! (And this may go without saying, but I deleted the "handy" shortcut gadget.)

I started out by saying (at that time) Christmas Day was almost over, and though I hate to say it, it felt a lot like any other day off work, other than the fact that there were some nice Christmas music programs on tv last night. A big part of the reason for this was not being able to get to church for our Christmas Eve service, as well as the past two Sundays, as well as the caroling last Sunday (which was canceled) and the trimming of the church interior (which was not). This was because of a few storms which left over a foot of snow on the ground, the most since the "day after Christmas" storm of '96. Rex had to get me to the dock and back the past two weeks in his Jeep so I could get to work on the days that I did make it there since we both agree I couldn't take a chance on driving "Bianca" on the treacherous streets, even though it was really about all he could do to get himself to work. I took a snow day Monday the 22nd and again on Christmas Eve. I went in Tuesday and will need to go in today. Thankfully, the coming week will also be short, with 1-1/2 days off for New Year's. It will be hard after that to get back to 5-day work weeks. I only have 2-3/4 more vaca days till May 15 when they renew, but will get 5 more sick days after next week, in case I have a migraine or really need a "mental health" day or "not up to battling the elements" day. January is definitely my least favorite month, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard. But I keep reminding myself that though it won't be noticeable for some time, the days are getting the teeniest bit longer each day now, and NASCAR starts back up in only about seven more weeks!

I thought I would be alone at home for the second Christmas in a row, with Rex scheduled to work last Christmas and there being just enough snow that I didn't want to chance driving to his employer's Christmas dinner. But he wasn't scheduled to work today. So we spent the day hanging out at home, and in my case, finishing the cream-colored Barbie "Angel of Peace" outfit and selecting a dark-haired gal to permanently wear it. I stiffened the wings and halo with a mixture of clear craft glue and water, and as soon as they are stiff and dry, I'll glue them on and display her. I really enjoyed making the angel outfit and will be making more; there are five in the booklet. I started the second one with the matching slip that needs to go under each outfit, then I'll decide which style dress to go over it. This outfit will be made with Clea #10 variegated pastel thread. Who says angel dresses have to be white? We had cheeseburgers off the grill for supper; not Christmasy but tasty, and the doggies always enjoy them. I gave Rex the Cuisinart ice cream/yogurt/sorbet maker I got him, and he gave me a "Paris for Dummies" book. I also got myself some crochet patterns and purses off eBay with part of my Christmas bonus. I don't NEED more of either of those, but I love both, so..........

I think this is about all I said in the post that disappeared except that I hope and pray I can get to church this Sunday; I've really missed it. Rex and I did get there for the third and last beautiful Advent service of the season a week ago Wed., but other than that, it's been since Dec. 7. He's still going to the church we attended together since '01 and is not yet convinced to join me, though he's visited a few times, so I hope he will eventually come abroad. Well, six hours to time to arise for work, so I'll hit "publish" and hope for the best!

Heidi, Holidays, and Hookey

2008-11-24T13:13:00.000-08:00

The fact that I realize I haven't posted to my blog for two months, despite the scare a month ago with our Heidi, is a clear indication of the extent of my brain overload caused by my job, which in turn caused me to take today off work despite this being a short week due to Thanksgiving. It's really not playing hookey; the H just fit in well for the title of the post! It's a mental health day to recover from a non-restful weekend. Usually I can recover mentally over a weekend from a crazy week at the job, but not this weekend. I drifted off in my recliner a few times both Sat. and Sun., despite desperately wanting to stay alert during the beautiful 1944 movie "Since You Went Away" and the terrific 10-hour History Channel special, "The States", featuring history and interesting facts on all 50 states, and I'd only caught two episodes several months before (and not enough room on the DVR to record them). I just didn't feel I could face another Monday. So I got up and dressed, but then went to Fred Meyer to pick up a few groceries and refill my Imitrex transaction, then I came home and am so glad to be here. I really needed this mental health day.

As for our Heidi, she is fine. But Rex and I were very alarmed to find a HUGE cyst on her right side back on October 18, under all that fur. We really only found it then since we noticed she was pulling hair out of her side. We expected to find some sort of abrasion. Of course, you go through all the thoughts of, PLEASE, God, let it be benign, and let us be able to borrow enough off our credit cards to afford to get her treated. So she went to the vet the following Mon. the 20th to get it biopsied, then, thank the Lord, we found out Wed. that it was benign. She had it removed on Thurs. the 23rd. The surgery went great, but the poor baby had a third of her fur shaved on that side and a long scar with stitches that had to stay in two weeks. Then she had to go back a few days later to have a bandage wrapped around her middle so she wouldn't pick at the stitches (which prompted Rex to call her "sausage dog"), then once more to have the bandage replaced, then actually two visits to remove the stitches since a few of them needed to stay in a few extra days. So it was several hundred dollars, but we didn't think twice. We love her SO much. I am SO thankful every day that Rex didn't listen to me in those first few months when Heidi had all this pent-up energy from living in a large cage from ages 2 till when we adopted her at age 4 in '02 and I told him she wasn't working out. I ended up growing closer to her than any other dog I've had or will probably ever have, maybe partly because I did go through so much with her, and I'm so very thankful to have more time with my girl -- who will turn 11 in a little over 2 weeks.

It's hard to believe Thanksgiving is almost here and the year is almost over. Rex will again have to work that day, as there will be more doggies in the kennel than on non-holidays and they need to be cared for. So our dinner will again be postponed to sometime over the weekend. I also am supposed to be getting together with Dianne over the weekend - was supposed to be Friday, but I remembered it's payday and the pesky problem of having to stop at the office to pick up my check, with no direct deposit (unless I have my boss deposit it, which I did when I went to Vegas). There are also some great-sounding Bette Davis and Joan Crawford movies on TCM Friday, most of which I've never seen. So I'll play it by ear....

I still haven't started ny next Barbie dress, yet another indication of how very tired I've felt. I was going to start it over the weekend, but instead decided to start my third "symbols only" doily using a pretty pastel variegated #10 Clea thread that looks like sherbet flavors; called "Floral Showpiece", which I'm now going to sit back and relax and work on for awhile. Hopefully the dress will be next.

Dusty, Vegas, Hotpads and Handbells

2008-09-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

We lost another of our sweet guinea pigs on Fri., August 29. As with Ozzie, it was unexpected. Not quite as unexpected as Ozzie, as there was NO warning with Oz, while Dusty started becoming much less active and not eating much a week before. But it was a surprise that he got sick. He was one of the more active and curious piggies we'd had. He would stand and stretch along the side of his cage, looking all around at the slightest sound or movement. We don't know what happened. We started putting vitamins made for piggies in his water, but he died that evening about an hour after I came home from work. He was pretty; looked like an albino with pink eyes except he had a dark patch on his face. Considering we acquired him and his late cagemate Rusty after they were abandoned in a home with four other piggies that already had died, at least we were able to give these two a good home for their final months. RIP, Dusty....

Thankfully, this was the only dark moment of the first of two long weekends, the following Mon. being Labor Day. The following morning, my new pastor, Liz, came over to visit and met Rex and the critters. (He still hasn't been to my new church; he continues to be scheduled to work Sundays.) I spent most of the weekend the way I usually like to spend them -- at home with the doggies and piggies, watching TV and crocheting, and also making plans for the following weekend, my mini-vacation in Vegas! Hard to believe that now, it's already been two weeks ago, and the first day of fall is almost here.

I got up at 4:00 a.m. (yawn) on Friday the 5th, had Rex drop me at the dock to take the 5:00 ferry to West Seattle, and from there took the express bus to the airport, getting there in plenty of time for my 8:00 flight. There was no problem getting my steel crochet hook on board the plane either coming or going, so I was able to work on a lavender and green pineapple doily on each flight. We landed a little early, at 10:15-ish. I had already started spending the $100 my boss gave me for my bd at Sea-Tac Airport, buying a summery aqua necklace, and now at McCarran Airport, here was a store with rows of very cute watches for $10! Having just broken the bangle watch I loved days before, what great timing! After some deliberation, I picked a pretty lavender one with a "croco" strap and silvertone trim.

This was the first trip where I ever rented a car; I usually choose to walk and take buses on trips, but with the 105 degree heat, I saw little choice, and I got a fabulous deal from Alamo. They were out of compacts so I got to upgrade to a nice silver Pontiac G6, which I enjoyed driving (they offered a minivan at first, but I've never driven one and didn't feel ready to start now). Heading north toward my hotel and driving through the Strip, even without the neon lights, I was in awe and had to keep telling myself to watch where I was going and calm down. At Sahara, the cross street where I would turn left for the Palace Station Hotel, was a large, tacky, but fun gift shop called Bonanza, so I had to stop in there. Kitty corner from that shop was the NASCAR Cafe and Gift Shop, where I already knew I would stop. Looking at the ladies' tops for awhile, I decided on two -- a black NASCAR Cafe tank that would be great to wear for the next evening's activity (more on that soon) and a nice long-sleeve black and gray (with orange Home Depot trim, natch) Tony Stewart shirt that was half-price due to his not driving that car after this season (since he will be a team owner then).

It was still a bit early to check into the hotel, so I decided to have lunch and then drive around a bit. I looked for a restaurant called Hash House I found online where I'd decided to eat lunch, but couldn't find it. So I ended up eating at KFC, which still hit the spot. I somehow kept making wrong turns though I usually have a good sense of direction. I stumbled upon a mall with a Michael's and went there for a red Sugar N'Cream yarn for hotpads. They had my Bernat Berella yarn for the incredible price of $1.49 and I decided to buy some and have my friend Mary (who I'd be meeting the next day) ship it to me (which would still be cheaper than paying $15 to check a bag). I bought 6 soft forest, 5 forest, 10 rich pink, and the one remaining skein of soft heather (cream).

I headed for the Palace Station, deciding I would freshen up and then take their shuttle to the Strip. I knew it was an economy room, but being Vegas, I assumed it would still be nice and have at least the basic amenities I'd come to expect when traveling. What a disappointment! The room was tiny (the two double beds taking up most of it), very plain vanilla "decor", no bathtub (only a shower stall), no refrigerator, and the most stunning to me -- no coffeepot and fixings to make morning coffee! I've never stayed anywhere that didn't have that. Also, it was advertised as being 2 blocks from the Strip -- at least a mile would be more like it. I would never stay at this place again if I went back, and would advise anyone else not to....

I took the shuttle to the Strip. There was only one stop (or as I learned, sometimes two, according to their whim). I sat next to a delightful young woman visiting from Germany, who was pretty enough to be in a beauty pageant. I wish I'd taken her picture. I got off the shuttle and started walking. It was still waaaay too hot for me though the sun had gone down; I had to stop and get a bottle of water. Then I saw there was a $2 bus that went all the way down the Strip and I decided to take that, but it took forever to get there. I finally got most of the way down the Strip and decided to walk much of the way back. I walked through a few of the fancy malls in the prominent hotels -- the Miracle Mile Shops in Planet Hollywood was especially elegant and impressive. I took some pics of the neon lights of the Strip at night, and when I was almost done doing that, my danged camera battery ran out -- and I hadn't thought to bring the charger. I was surprised at how, at many intersections, the crosswalk is totally blocked off and to move forward, you HAVE to go up an escalator that leads into one of the famous hotels -- or you can turn and take the next escalator down, and it can be confusing. But I eventually made it back to the shuttle stop and returned to my plain little room to prepare for the next day -- my birthday!

I'd arranged to meet my E-mail friend Mary at Omelet House, another restaurant I found online (which offers a free bd meal if you bring a friend), at 8:00 a.m. I had probably the best omelet I ever had there, but it was beyond enormous. They must have used six eggs! I hated to waste half of it, but I had no choice since the danged hotel room had no fridge. Then Mary and I went to a yarn store she'd never been to. It turned out to be the typical small yarn store that caters almost exclusively to knitters, so neither of us were terribly impressed. Then we went to her home for a short while where I met her hubby, two of her sons, and her two cute dogs, Lady, a husky, and Coco, a chow puppy. We had a nice visit and it was fun meeting her after communicating online for quite some time. Her son took a pic (my battery having died) and I wish I could share it, but I look awful; my eyes are half-closed...

When I left her home, I drove around a bit, then I went to the hotel to shower and plan for the evening. After unwinding for awhile, I took the Strip shuttle and walked to Harrah's, where the shuttle bus was leaving at 5 p.m. for the Las Vegas Motor Speedway!! I'd decided a couple weeks before that rather than go to a show, I'd spend my last evening in Vegas touring the speedway and riding 3 laps at up to 165 mph in an exact replica of a real NASCAR! Each of us had to put on a fire-retardant suit like the drivers wear and a helmet, then wait our turn dressed like that in the 100 degree-plus heat. Needless to say, that part I could have done without. And it was over pretty fast. It was scary but fun! I guess I'm glad I did it. But for what they charge (plus an extra $35 for the pic of me in the car on a stone plaque), next time I go to a speedway, it will be to actually attend a race -- and in cooler temps! It did give me even more of an appreciation for what the drivers do. The hardest part was crawling in and out of that tiny window! Afterwards, we toured the garage and when I saw the exact replica of Tony Stewart's #20 Home Depot car, I lamented that my camera battery had died. So one of the ladies took my pic by the car and E-mailed it to me. It turned out OK, so I'll post it at the bottom of this paragraph. The bus dropped us back at Harrah's, and since I was required to wear closed shoes for the NASCAR ride, which weren't nearly as comfy as my sandals, rather than walking through the Strip some more, I found the shuttle and returned to my room. The shuttle nearly left without me; it stopped at a different spot than before and I had to yell and wave him down. Then the driver acted like I was supposed to know where he was stopping. This only added to my distaste for the Palace Station Hotel.

I purposely decided on a comparatively uneventful Sunday to conclude my trip. With my unlimited Alamo mileage, I decided to visit a Lutheran church on the far northwest side, which had its traditional service at 11:00. Before church, I went back to Omelet House for breakfast, but had French Toast this time. I took the "scenic route" to the church but still got there too early, so drove around some more. The service was a lot like those at my new church and I enjoyed it. Afterwards, I went back to the Michael's and retrieved the one skein of rich pink Berella yarn that had fallen out of my basket the other day (having given the other 21 to Mary to ship to me). I decided to gradually head to the outlet mall near the airport as my final stop even though my plane wasn't leaving till 7:27 p.m. I thought the mall would be on my right, then I saw the sign that it was ahead to the left. I thought, great, oh well, with this traffic, I don't feel like merging; I'll just head to the airport and hang out there. Then I saw another mall on my side of the road, Town Square, so decided to check that out. It was elegant, on manmade city "streets". I wanted to park and walk around despite the heat. But the parking spots were metered and I was almost out of change. I only had enough change for 12 minutes. I parked anyway but had to hurry back, being unable to think of something to buy quickly to get change. Then I couldn't find my way out of there; it was like a giant maze!! I finally found Las Vegas Blvd. heading south to the airport on the 4th or 5th try. I turned and thought, OK, I am dropping off this car, I've had enough of driving in this town! THEN came the sign, rental car return here, wrong side of road again!! O.....KAY..... I'll get to the next intersection, turn left and turn back around. I went to turn there -- and there was the outlet mall!! So I got to see it anyway. Then I went to the car return, then hung out at the airport for a few hours. I took the express bus to the ferry and got home at 12:15-ish. It was nice to not have to rush right off to bed and know I had the next day off to rest at home. Ironically, "Viva Las Vegas" was on tv, so I watched that. It was made in '64 and it was interesting to see how the Strip has changed since then.

Since returning home, I've mostly been working on CD hotpads. As I write this. I've made 16 so far. I'd thought about trying patterns for them for a long time, and had been saving free software and other free advertising CDs for that purpose. I have a couple dozen more of those CDs somewhere that I haven't found so far, but have about 2 dozen on hand to use, and the others may surface occasionally. The pattern I'm using is online, called Cluster CD Hotpad. I really enjoy making them and they will be nice to have on hand for exchanges, small gifts, or church fundraising. Once I use up the CDs I have on hand, I expect to start another Barbie dress, called Miss Holly, in dark rose, cream and hunter green.

The last part of the title of this post relates to this past Wednesday. I went to choir practice for the first time at my new church. The others were glad to see me, and the two sons we practiced were beautiful. It went very well and I really felt I fit in and was glad I went. After practice, Myrna asked me if I wanted to try handbells. Well, yes, actually, I've never gotten to play them and did want to try. Well.....I learned it's not for me. It's definitely harder than I thought and I just don't think I have the knack for it. The bells are heavy and there is a certain technique to how you have to move your arm to get the correct tone, and then there's the timing issue of knowing exactly WHEN to ring your bell, otherwise the chord could sound all wrong. I know everything takes practice. But I honestly didn't enjoy it. I hope that tomorrow, I can just tell her NO and not be made to feel guilty. Like Clint Eastwood would say, "A man (woman)'s got to know his (her) limitations!"

Finally....I didn't expect anything else from work for my birthday after Chris gave me the $100. But I was also given (from all the staff) a $40 gift cert for yarnmarket.com (Rex teased that was like giving my dad a gift cert for a tavern; I used it to buy several colors of Berrocco "Touche" yarn, which I haven't used but it seems like it will be very similar to Knit Picks Shine which I love for face or dish cloths) and we had a pizza party and chocolate bd cake on Wednesday. Between the pizza and the pretzels I'd eaten the previous two days, I got a bad migraine the next day and had to leave work at 1:30. So now my sick pay for the year is almost gone -- which would be OK if I could only control my eating! I know what certain foods will do to me when I overeat them but I do it anyway. Well, this is all that's fit to print for now!

Tired of Being Tired

2008-08-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

It's just a little over two weeks before my birthday mini-trip to Vegas -- an air/hotel package I booked in April and would not have booked if I'd used my brain and thought about what the weather would be in late summer. It seems like they've had highs in the 100s literally since May. I'm not sure how the people who live there can stand it, regardless of whether it's "dry heat". I've continued to wonder how I, who can barely endure 85 degrees, will be able to stand it and avoid heatstroke. I generally like to take buses to neighborhoods and then walk through those neighborhoods when I visit cities. Realizing a few weeks ago that the unending heat would not permit me to do that, I began searching online each day for the best rental car deal possible. I finally found one no one could touch - a compact car from Alamo which, counting the online coupon, will cost me $40.18 for the entire 3 days (not for each day). The only additional cost will be replenishing the gas I use, but I'll just stay in the city so I won't use a lot. I have my city maps and points of interest, and it will be fun to zip around in a little air-conditioned car and will give me a lot more freedom as to what I will be able to see and do. I think I am still getting together with my E-mail friend Mary on Day Two (my bday), though I'm waiting to hear back from her as to where and what time we should meet.

So, I expect to have fun and am looking forward to this little getaway. At the same time. I am very discouraged about my weight, which absolutely WAS going to be OFF for months till now and instead is there, all extra 40 pounds in all its *glory", ruining my appearance, self-image and probably my health, and all because I can't control my cravings for pretzels, pasta, cereal and CARBS in general. God knows I need His intervention; I can't do this alone, and I continue to feel His help has just not been forthcoming. I also have continued to feel even more fatigued than usual, and more trouble getting any sleep each night, than has been the case. I still do the morning mile and a half walk from the park n'ride to the ferry dock five days a week, and I sometimes try to do the same walk in the evening after work (with the temp being warmer. the terrain uphill, and my brain mentally exhausted from 8 hours of shifting gears every few minutes at my crazy job). But more often than not lately, I just don't feel I have the strength (and am dragging like an old woman on days I do try it) and have to pay the van fare to my car, which is up to $1.50, which adds up. I bought some liquid vitamins I hoped would help my stamina, but so far they haven't. I also tried bee pollen granules and was taking them about a week and a half, a tablespoonful each night, when last Thursday I got a monster migraine that even my Imitrex couldn't help, complete with nausea, and I haven't had one of those for quite some time. It was so bad that I was forced to take a sick day Friday. While I don't know for 100% that the bee pollen caused this, it's the only thing I've ingested that's different from usual, and I also recalled that I proved sensitive to honey when I was drinking it in hot water in '03. It's discouraging to spend my limited income on something that I trust will help me and instead it backfires on me. I pray God will have mercy on me and give me the strength to do whatever the heck it is I need to in order to lose this disgusting weight, get some sleep and have some energy. I was supposed to go to Vegas looking like a fox (for my age) and instead I still look and feel like a middle-aged, fat, tired FRUMP. I can't believe that a year after I resolved to get to my goal weight, here I remain, a mere 17 pounds from my all-time high weight. God, PLEASE help me...............

I was just rereading my last post. I ended up not having that knitting lesson with Beverly; she had to cancel, and I still haven't and don't know when or if I will. I still think it would be nice to know the basics, but I also still honestly don't know that I would even enjoy doing it all that much, and when I adore crocheting as much as I do, does it even make sense to spend time trying to get into a craft that forces one to coordinate at least two needles (instead of one hook), is much more of a hassle to rip out if you need to, and would therefore not be very relaxing? Hypothetical question! I'm almost finished with the Dotted Delight beaded Barbie outfit which I chose to make in cream thread with multi pastel beads and a pink collar and trim, instead of white with red beads and trim as pictured. This Sat. when I get together with Dianne, I'll pick up the three tiny snaps, three tiny pink ribbon roses, and 1/8" wooden dowel (for her parasol) that I need to finish it. Tonight I started a light blue scarf for my crochet exchange partner Stephanie, who sent me a nice dark green knit scarf and was also kind enough to send me the size I lighted crochet hook I wanted. I'm also working on a charity or gift baby ghan in confetti (white with speckles) Cottontots in the "Sand Dollar" pattern (join as you go hexagon post stitch motifs; fun to make and elegant). We had a rare rainstorm today and I wondered if our power would go off and cause me to try it out sooner rather than later. But thankfully that didn't happen, and it is supposed to clear up by Sat. I've also continued to attend and enjoy the Lutheran church for the past 7 Sundays. Rex hasn't been there yet as he's had to work every Sun. Amazingly, no one from the church we attended the past 7 years has bothered to contact us to find out where we are. So that speaks volumes and makes it easier to make the change. Well, being after midnight, I'll wrap up for now and once again TRY to get enough sleep to function the next two workdays at the level that I need and want to, but which lately has eluded me.....

Second Half....

2008-07-21T23:56:00.000-07:00

I didn't intend to take this long to post in my blog. Here it is, already the second half of the year, and here I am, at the same fat weight and totally disgusted with myself. I thought about going back to the TOPS chapter I'd attended for about 6 months. But the meetings are on Monday evenings, and Mondays continue to be stressful for me as it is without having to cut back on my food and not get home till 8:00 p.m. It's the busiest day at a job that I guess is working out in that I've been there over two years now, but which I continue to not be passionate about and wonder, at my age, if I will ever have a job I can truly enjoy instead of just existing during the week and living for the weekend - and then feeling lonely and without purpose over the weekend. At least that's how I felt this past Saturday. Then I went to my new church the next day and felt rejuvenated, at least for awhile. More on that soon.

Now it's after midnight, having just turned to Tuesday, and I again feel drained. But one of my favorite programs, the 90's crime series Homicide (on the cable network "Sleuth") again didn't record on its earlier telecast today; this has been happening a lot and I don't know why. So I'll stay up and listen to it while I type this. I won't sleep anyway if I do go to bed....But getting back to TOPS, there is a chapter closer to our home that I belonged to several years ago, and I discovered they meet on Thursdays (I don't think that used to be the case). So I'm thinking about going this Thurs. I have to do something; it's ridiculous that I still weigh the same, with the total determination I had (and still have) to lose the weight the first half of this year, and considering that I walk 3 to 4 miles most weekdays.

Before I get off the topic of TV programs, another of my very favorites is "Monk". As always, I was excited about the new season starting last Fri., even though the "season" is ridiculously short -- only 6 or 7 episodes, then wait another 4-5 months. I saw the coming attractions about Monk getting a new psychiatrist and was surprised that Stanley Kamel, the man who played Dr. Kroger, was either written off or resigned. Just before the new episode debuted, curiosity got the better of me and I searched Google to see why Dr. Kroger was replaced. I was stunned to learn that Stanley/Dr. Kroger had died of a heart attack over 3 months ago! I, who is on the Internet every day as well as keeping up with televised news, had not heard anything about this. What a shame; he was only 65. I can't understand why this was not publicized more than it was. It's scary as well as sobering to hear things like this happening to people who seemed fine who are not that much older than my husband - or not that much older than me, as with newsman Tim Russert. It really is a reminder to not let life get you down as it often has for me, since you truly just never know. At least Stanley got to bring a lot of people enjoyment, and I assume to experience much himself, through this supporting but integral character on a great TV show the last few years of his life. RIP, Dr. Kroger........

Dianne and I didn't get to take our weekend to Long Beach due to the declining health of her parents. That was disappointing; we were looking forward to it. She had a really cute little cabin reserved, and we would have been able to bring 2 of her 3 tiny dogs. But we plan a day trip to Centralia this Sat. I'll go to her place Friday after work and stay there so we can get an early start. Before going to her place, I'll be meeting with Beverly, owner of our local crochet group, for (I can't believe I'm doing this) a knitting lesson. Yes, the "k" word. It pains me to even type it. I guess I want to either prove to myself once and for all that I don't want to knit and won't think about it any more (and will continue to wonder why it usually gets so much more attention than my beloved crocheting), or there will be the outside chance that I could pick it up with someone actually showing me (as opposed to a book or video) since, after all, that's how I learned to crochet almost 29 years ago. I still might not like it. I keep hearing what a hassle it is to rip out and redo if you do make a mistake - and there is the need to coordinate two (or more) needles instead of one hook. Just doesn't seem that relaxing to me - and I feel crochet is every bit as versatile. But I'm going to try once more - and the third time will either be the charm or the third strike. We shall see!

Last time I went to Dianne's home, with some Bernat Satin yarn and an afghan pattern I'd been anxious to try, I came to a sober realization re my favorite lovely soft and shiny yarn. Namely, that it lacks what Dianne wisely referred to as the "body" to be effectively used for the particular pattern I had in mind. I realized this would be the case for other patterns I like also, and that this is why Bernat Berella ad worked so well for other afghans I've made. It does definitely have body and yet has a nice degree of softness. It also comes in a lot more colors than the Satin. So I will be going back to Berella as my afghan yarn of choice (or Patons Canadiana, which is very similar but tends to cost more). I used my supply of Satin to make two ghans - a cream, sage and burgundy spiderweb pattern ghan for my household and a navy/burgundy/beige star-shaped lapghan which will be a gift for someone I can't yet name (or it wouldn't be a surprise!). Prior to making these ghans, I whipped up a "pineapple swirls" Barbie gown of lavender #10 Cebelia. Now I've just started a "Dotted Delight" Barbie ensemble, which will include a hat and parasol in addition to the pretty beaded dress. The dress will be cream #10 Opera thread with pink #10 Opera trim, and the beads are pastel in five shades of blues and pinks. I started stringing the beads onto the thread this evening (that is, last evening!). Inbetween these projects, I made 18 dishcloths/face cloths for one of my charity lists, using a good-sized supply of Knit Picks Shine sport yarn from eBay (my favorite yarn for dish/face cloths, shiny and a dream to work with).

At the beginning of this post, I referred to my new church. I've attended there the past three Sundays. Rex has not yet been there, as he is back to working Sundays for now. It's a tricky situation, changing churches when you've gone to your previous church for over 7 years (and a couple years before that in the 90's), and are the webmaster and creator of the church's web site, and had been rotating on the worship team, and most of all, when you are so fond of the pastor and his wife, and a few other people at the church. I hope to continue to be friends with them and they won't take it personally. But I just wasn't being spiritually fed by singing the same 20 or so of what Rex calls "jingles on a screen", sometimes one "special music" song, a sermon, a closing song, a strictly symbolic communion once a month, sitting in the library (Rex is the librarian) till everyone left, and going home. I've increasingly felt the need for something deeper and more traditional and structured, something where I could feel I was participating more in the service, being able to observe the liturgical year. I feel I've found all this in a small Lutheran church where we sing the old hymns, recite the Lord's Prayer and the Apostles' Creed, observe communion every week, and during greeting time (well into the service) instead of saying "hi", we say "Peace be with you!" I've left feeling fed and hungry for more, and that is something I haven't experienced at church for a long time. No one from the church we are members of has inquired yet as to where we are, but I expect that soon, I'll have to explain all this to Pastor Jim, and that will be hard. I think he will understand; other people have left in recent months, but it's still a tricky situation. But it's what I feel I need to do. I'll know better if this is right once Pastor Liz comes over in a few weeks and meets with both of us (yeah, a lady pastor - a first for me) but I do see myself (and hopefully Rex) eventually joining this church. Well, as usual, it's past my bedtime!

Where Does The Time Go??

2008-05-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

Can it be that we have been in our lovely new manufactured home almost a year already?? It doesn't seem possible, but it's true. It also doesn't seem possible that I FINALLY got around to trying out my "new" (bought several months ago) digital camera today and FINALLY taking a few new pics of the outside of our home. I don't know why it took me so long to try out the camera (a Nikon Coolpix) but it is a lot more user-friendly than I'd feared; pretty much point and shoot. It has a lot of different optional "modes" to switch to, depending on indoor/outdoor, time of day, subject matter, close or far, etc. But for now, the default auto mode seems to work great! I also took some pics of many of my latest crochet projects, in preparation for soon adding the looooong-overdue crochet page #3 to my site. I didn't take a pic yet of the gorgeous 56-square peach and green "F and F" (friends and family) ghan that has 16 8" squares crocheted by me and the other 40 by Dianne, her mom Margaret, her 3 daughters and one of her youngest's April's friends (6 to 8 squares each). I couldn't get it laid out in a way to really get the whole thing (or even most of it) in the pic to do it justice, so maybe I will have Rex hold it up today or tomorrow. But anyway, I am really pleased with the little camera! And now I am going to attempt to get the new pics (which also feature my sweet '88 Mercedes, "Bianca") posted below, after I read the "help" section here on Blogspot to remember how to do it!

OK, that was easy enough! I also want to take some pics of the inside of our home to post here in the near future. But I need to do some picking up and straightening up first, and Rex has to get the rug shampooer rented; it's badly needed after 11+ months of 500+ pounds of large lovable dawgs sharing the place with us. I also did get a couple of pics of Archie (our precious 170-pounder) taken today. I may as well post them below. The other dawgs were laying behind something or otherwise not accessible to get a good shot, so may have to wait till they're outside.

I also will need to get some pics of our current brood of eight sweet guinea pigs. I still can't believe we lost little Ozzie sometime on Tuesday. I was home all day preparing for my routine colonoscopy the next day (which, thankfully, came out fine) and the last I checked on the piggies, he seemed perfectly OK. Rex found him the next morning. He was a pretty little shorthair tortoiseshell who came to us about 20 months ago with his cagemate, a beautiful Peruvian (longhaired) tortoiseshell, Harry. Several months ago we added Joey, a wonderful solid black Peruvian, to their cage, and they all got along well. Ozzie was one of our most docile piggies and liked to be held and petted. We check all the piggies regularly since we've lost four others - Harvey (a lovable, athletic tan Abyssinian), Salina and Speedy (both black shorthair) and Rusty (rust-color shorthair) since our original guy, Popeye, in '05 (we thankfully had him almost 5 years). I wish the little critters lived longer. They are such nice little animals. We hope to get to the bottom of why this has happened the last couple years. We take good care of the piggies and I don't know of anything we are doing wrong.

On the positive side, another thing that is hard to believe, after all the years of temp jobs, layoffs, and several wrong jobs I never should have taken in the first place (would love to turn back the clock and make a different decision on at least four...), I will be at my present job TWO YEARS next week - and I had a very good annual review two weeks ago. There have been some rough periods even at this job, and I still feel I will again seek a higher-paying job in Seattle or Tacoma down the road. But I'm glad things have settled down for now, so that I can further regain some appearance of stability, as opposed to the job hopper my present resume still makes me appear (despite some of that being beyond my control).

I haven't been back to TOPS since Feb. and doubt at this point I will return. I also doubt that I will have any "after" pics to post here this year. That could change, but I know that the longer I wait to get restarted eating less, the harder it will be. As to the wonderful world of crocheting, today I hope to finish assembling my sumptuous diagonal brick stitch ghan in "sand and sea" colors of Bernat Satin. I had to set it aside for a couple weeks, having run out of three colors of the Satin. Then I'll have to decide what edging to add, weave in the rest of the ends, photograph it and find a prominent place to show it off - likely in our living room. Am also working on three doilies - "Danube Centerpiece" (nine motifs in dark rose, cream and pink, with sage trim), another beaded doily to use up the rest of my jewel-toned beads (Welcoming Oval in sage; the pattern doesn't call for beads but I figured out a design to exactly use up what I have left) and "Heavenly Delight" to use the rest of the dark rose and pink. At least two more ghans planned next, and at long last, Barbie gowns! I got a little carried away buying a few more Barbies off eBay, along with panties and shoes (we can't have Barbie in a fancy gown with no underpants or shoes, now can we?). It will take quite some time making clothes for the 18 or so I have now! Well, that's all that's fit to print for this go-round! I'll likely wait to post again till Dianne and I take our little 3-day mini-vacation to Long Beach, Washington in three weeks.

Spring Has Sprung...

2008-04-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

Well....I haven't been to TOPS for several weeks now. It just made for too long of a day on Mondays, which is the busiest and most stressful day at work - and I just wasn't developing close enough relationships with the others that would keep me there. I may look into transferring to the online version of TOPS. I also have continued to not really make an effort to cut back on the foods I crave, and have decided to not beat myself up about it. I will get restarted with my efforts, as I want SO badly to reach my goal weight, but have just not been ready yet. I have resumed walking to and from the ferry dock most weekdays, and though I have been afraid to weigh myself since leaving TOPS, I doubt I have gained much if any weight thanks to all the walking. But I continue to have chronic insomnia, have headaches more days than not, and feel much more sluggish than I should. I am on the verge of trying a brand of liquid vitamins I have read glowing reviews of, and which I understand were developed by a Christian. The vitamin pills I have been taking have done nothing for the way I feel and tend to get stuck in my esophagus half the time, ouch. I've also read that pills only have a 10 - 15% absorption rate and liquid have a 98% absorption rate. So I'm hoping this will be the answer to my regaining the energy I need, and to be able to sleep better, have less headaches and get back on track with weight loss. I had also been quite stressed by my job, but things have been better there now the last couple of weeks since we added a couple of new staff to take some of the pressure off me. I still am shifting gears all day, sometimes every few minutes, which often is very mentally tiring. But I suppose most office jobs are like that to one degree or another. Though I've updated my resume and sent out a few (and went on one interview last week, on a day I happened to be off work anyway), I don't feel I should jump ship just yet (at least not till I have my annual review later this month, LOL). I feel I need a higher salary in the long run to help us keep up with our mortgage (which will remain a challenge despite the recent refinancing). But it will take quite an increase in salary to cause me to want to do the longer commute to and from Seattle (and the hour earlier rising that will come with that) again........

I was very excited to find my lovely new blog graphics today on the web site pyzam.com. I have not been satisfied with the limited choices of blog templates available on my blog host, and pyzam.com has a huge choice of designs with literally something for everyone. When I found this one, called Natural Paint I knew I didn't have to look any further. Now I feel my blog really fits in perfectly with my home page evergreenrefuge.org. I also chose another template from pyzam.com, called "Just Meant", for my other blog, The Evergreen Refuge Home Chronicle (My Dream Realized), and it looks great also. I highly recommend pyzam.com to ANYONE that has a blog and wants to personalize and update its look. They have hundreds of choices, so you will find the perfect choice for your own blog. All I had to do was copy and paste the HTML for the new template where the old template HTML used to be, and ta daaaaa!!

Since posting last, I've made an additional beaded doily using the pattern "Shimmering Pineapple Doily", which is available free at epatterns.com. I'd bought a bag of very pretty beads in variegated shades of blue, purple and green, and was surprised that the package contained enough for three doilies. The funny-looking beading needles I bought, which are literally not much thicker than a human hair, were finally the answer for threading beads onto #10 thread with no muss and fuss. I made one with sage Opera thread, one with hunter Opera thread, and one with purple Royale thread, and the beads looked equally nice on all three. I will keep one (probably the sage one) and use the other two for future exchanges. Then I made a doily for an online exchange using #10 Clea thread, in a pretty variegated pastel, for the first time. I LOVE Clea thread! I bought it from an eBay seller in Paraguay, of all places, who sells 1,000 yard spools at reasonable prices and with FREE shipping. The 1,000 yard spools of Clea take up no more space than 400 yard spools of other #10 thread, since they don't use the cardboard roll in the middle. It is smooth, very soft and works up beautifully. I think Cebelia is still my favorite thread, and I have a lot of it on hand to use before I buy more thread. But Clea is right up there and may eventually become my main thread of choice. Lovely stuff!

I'm now finally making my first ghan using the luscious Bernat Satin, which I consider the gold standard of yarn. It is SO soft, comes in gorgeous colors (though I wish it came in more colors than it does) and has a beautiful sheen. The pattern I'm using is called "Diagonal Blocks". I'm using the colors admiral (dark blue), sapphire (lighter blue) and sable (golden beige) for a "sand and sea" look. It's 17" squares worked on the diagonal in brick stitch, which form a geometric squares pattern when combined. The squares are fun and relaxing to make, and the ghan will be very pretty and warm. The only drawback is, because it's all diagonal dc with no lacy areas, it uses a LOT of yarn. I will run out of the sapphire and sable before I get all the squares made. So I'll probably have to set the ghan aside halfway through till I can buy more....

I still haven't gotten around to learning to use my new camera to take pictures of my more recent crochet projects (OR my house OR my pets) and I really NEED to do that. But it always seems like other duties get in the way. Hopefully I'll get this accomplished this year, LOL.

Slow Start to the Year But It WILL Get Better...

2008-02-27T22:18:00.000-08:00

I was rereading my last post and didn't realize at the time how whiney it sounded, yuk. But I was SO frustrated at the time at having to retype everything. And I again didn't intend for it to be this long between posts. I'm thankful my two least favorite months of any year are again (almost) over and that the days are getting longer. I will again start my regular walks next work week from the park n'ride to the ferry, and back again in the evening. It is actually light enough out to be doing it now. But after not being able to do the walks since the end of Oct. due to the darkness, am needing to get back into it gradually. I did do the walk to my car Friday evening instead of taking the bus, and I took a 5-mile walk last Saturday and the Saturday before. I have gotten on the stepper most weekday mornings for at least 10 minutes on the days that it has been too cold out to walk (which, in Feb., has been most every day). I also have continued to snack on carbs and as a result have lost no more weight since Nov. To say this is discouraging is a gross understatement. I have truly believed with all my heart and soul that I WOULD lose the weight once and for all in the first half of this year. In fact, if I had continued my slow but steady progress of last Aug. through Nov., I could have had the weight OFF by our anniversary/hubby's birthday in April. Instead, I have snacked on peanut butter and crackers, or pretzels, or gotten up in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep (which I still can't most nights...) and snack on an English muffin, crackers, or whatever carb is handy and would satisfy my craving, and hopefully get my digestive system to work and make me sleepy. This usually does work - eventually - but it shouldn't take a mostly healthy person hours to get to sleep and usually have to resort to a snack to do it.

I had decided a couple weeks ago that though TOPS got me jump-started, the total lack of progress in the last few months (some say maintenance is OK, but not when you absolutely planned to lose all the dang weight in the next several months and instead keep sabotaging yourself) caused me to decide to discontinue TOPS again, or at least take an extended break from it. But I got a letter today from one of the ladies urging me to come back. So I guess I will think about it. If it was easy, there would not be millions of overweight people, and there would not be a need for support organizations such as TOPS. Now that the weather is getting milder and the days are longer, I SHOULD start seeing some progress before long, provided I can start leaving the dang carbs alone. But I am just SO, SO disappointed and disgusted with myself for letting the ball drop YET AGAIN.................

My job continues to make me feel like the guy (gal) who got on their horse and rode off in all directions. I like being busy but am constantly shifting gears, constantly, every day, every few minutes, and generally leave mentally exhausted. I don't doubt this contributes to the tendency to want to relieve tension by snacking. But in the long run, the snacking has the opposite effect, and I KNOW that, yet I've done it anyway. Well, yesterday after work I went to Fred Meyer, and while I bought and ate a whole bag of my favorite snack addiction, and got the headache I knew would follow, I also bought herbal tea instead of more cappuccino mix, and bought no sour cream to make dip, and also bought several boxes of chopped spinach (which I LOVE) to eat with fish sticks. So it was like one final fling with my addiction combined with a resolve to (AGAIN) turn things around.

I finished the long filet and spiderweb table runner with a swan on each end, using the #10 light green Opera thread, and it turned out very nice. I decided to use it on the long coffee table in the living room and instead use the "Midnight Star" light green runner on my dresser, which it fits perfectly on. I made a couple more scarves and hats (for charity or exchanges) with the rose Wool-Ease I got from eBay and am now working on the last one of those. I also completed a beaded doily using sage #10 Opera thread (the pattern is Shimmering Pineapple Doily which is available at freepatterns.com) and decided to make an additional one for a future exchange using hunter #10 Opera, as I still had hundreds of the variegated green/blue/purple beads left and knew they would look equally good on the hunter. I think there are still enough of the beads left for one more of these doilies, but will take a break from making them for now. I still want to make at least one Barbie gown soon, and then I may go back to making a couple of afghans.

I also participated in a couple of online exchanges in the past few weeks -- and am still shocked that I was stiffed on both. One was a hat/scarf swap from the Crochetmania message board and one from a Yahoo list that mainly consisted of dishcloth knitters, since at the time I thought I would again try once more to knit (it had been around 20 years since my only other try, but I soon remembered why I didn't pursue it -- I realized crochet is my passion and I wouldn't like to knit even if I could learn it). The aforementioned Yahoo list was deleted by its owner with no warning, which was a shame that many nice people were penalized for the action (lack of action) of a few. In both cases, I sent my partner a very nice item (plus some extras for the dishcloth exchange) and not only received nothing in return but not even so much as a thank you or even an "I received it" even though I know they did, since I requested delivery confirmation. It really hurts that someone would do that when I put my heart into what I made these two women. I feel tempted to post their names here but I won't, and I will try again to join exchanges since I like to share items I create with others. But it would be nice to know ahead of time that I was being paired with someone who would at least show appreciation for the time, care and postage I spent to make something especially for them........

The last bit of news is that for whoever reads this, please send up prayers and/or good thoughts for my sister-in-law Valerie in Kentucky (hubby's sister) who had a triple bypass a couple weeks ago, that she will recover fully and be better than new. We have kept in touch over the years via E-mail and she is very dear to me. Hubby's other sister has shut all three of us out of her life, but Val makes up for the thoughtlessness of the other one. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but it's how I feel. Also please pray my Aunt Bernice in Chicago is OK. She is up in years now and I haven't heard from her (or my cousin, her daughter) for a long time. Well, it's "only" 11:10, which to this nightowl is not late, so maybe I will think about going to bed at a reasonable hour tonight (or maybe not!).

Temporary Lapses and New Beginnings - and Reposting Everything, grrrrr.......

2008-01-01T14:21:00.001-08:00

I can't believe what just happened. I'd written a whole LONG post - updates on weight (or lack of progress therein), highlights of the past year, Christmas, and crochet projects currently working on and being planned. I had the WHOLE thing written, and ALL I did was to highlight the whole dang thing so I could adjust the font and the size. I did NOT hit delete or anything else to cause Blogger to think I was erasing the WHOLE thing, but that is exactly what happened. I have been lax in updating my blog and felt a sense of accomplishment in finally doing so, and was just about to go for a nice long walk (it's already 2:25 and with the short days, I would have had just about time for my planned 5-mile walk). And now.......what do I do; do I start all over and forget my walk? Or do I do the walk and have to waste the time later to rewrite everything I wrote? I had just been writing about how, on the whole, 2007 was a good year. And it was, but then things like this happen which shouldn't be a big deal but do bother me and do hurt. God knew I was just about to resume my temporarily lapsed commitment to weight loss by taking a walk, and He knew that if He erased all the stuff I just wrote, it would not only hurt me but I would feel compelled to redo it right now and not be able to take my walk. But He did it anyway. Yes, I am stubborn and I am watching the "That's Entertainment" series on TCM, so yes, I am going to sit here and try to remember everything I just wrote and try to recreate it right now and not be able to go on my walk, and get on my stepper twice instead to try to make up for it. Dang it all already!!!

OK, so like I was trying to write before it mysteriously and inexplicably got wiped off the face of the earth, 2007 WAS a good year. We DO have our house and have lived in it going on 7 months now, our doggies and guinea pigs (NINE of them now in case I hadn't mentioned that before) are doing well. My job is going good after a rough spot last year, and Rex has been getting needed full-time hours at his, though that could be reduced somewhat now that the holidays are over. I got the 56-square peach and green "Friends and Family" ghan and the 20-square sampler burgundy/cream/green sampler ghan both assembled and they both look great in the living room. And I rejoined TOPS and did lose 20 pounds to date. However....that is over a span of 5 months. I should have lost at least 30 by now; that was the goal and that would have been absolutely doable. But December brought a small setback. Not a huge setback, and I WILL get back on track. But I indulged several times in my downfall of crunchy snacks and onion dip. I didn't get on my stepper every day to make up for the evening walking it is not safe to do after work with it being pitch black outside now by the time I get off the ferry from work. Then there was the 4-pound bag of pistachios my boss brought to the office in Dec. I must have eaten 3 of those pounds. No one forced them on me and I should have used more willpower, but DANG, they were good. But it's time to STOP indulging and sabotaging my efforts. NO more excuses!!! I MUST get on the stepper every evening that I can't walk outside, and I MUST stop giving it to temptation. I am VERY disappointed in myself that my original achievable plan to hit my weight goal by our anniversary in April is not going to happen. I've set a new final deadline of June 30 and if I lose it before then, great. I'm SO disgusted with myself that I need to change subjects now.....

Crochet-wise, I'm currently working on what was originally going to be a large dresserscarf for my dresser but which is instead going to be a runner for the oblong coffee table in the great room. It will likely consist of 17 Midnight Star motifs (5" six-pointed pineapple stars) in 3 rows of 6, 5 and 6, which will make it about 30 x 18", a nice size for that table. I love making these motifs and had originally considered making a bedspread using them. But I decided one huge thread project (the 55" square table cover finally finished several months ago) was enough for this life! There are too many other thread projects I want to make, and I have at least three more planned after this one is done: a dresserscarf which will tentatively be a beautiful long filet runner with a swan at each end (using the same #10 light green Opera thread as the Midnight Star runner), my first beaded doily which will be medium sage #10 Opera with variegated green/purple/blue glass beads (the funny-looking super-skinny beading needles do work like a charm for pre-stringing the beads - no more broken beads/needles/threaders or frayed nerves, but it will be tricky to not lose the needles which are not much thicker than a hair!) and a beaded Barbie dress (color TBD). After that, I may go back to making a couple afghans and hopefully a couple more hats/scarves for charity, but have really missed working with thread, so will stick with that for the next few months.

WELL, I got smart this time and adjusted my font before typing this whole dang thing, so here we go again. It's 3:00 and too late to go out for my walk, so I'm getting on the stepper!

Setbacks, Cravings, Short Days, et al

2007-12-01T18:48:00.000-08:00

I didn't intend for it to be this long between posts on my blog. I've thought many times the past several weeks about posting and just didn't get around to it. So let's see....as far as the weight loss battle, I've lost a few more pounds since I last reported, but my rate of progress from several weeks ago has decreased. Going to Standard Time 4 weeks ago meant I could no longer walk after work from the ferry dock to my car a mile and a half away like I had been doing; too dark and dangerous. To compensate for this, I should instead be getting on my stepper for at least 20 minutes each evening, but I haven't done that. I have continued to do the walk to the dock on weekday mornings and will continue to unless the weather just gets too ugly. The sun is up (or at least close to up) by the time I park at 7:25-ish, so the only thing that will stop me is snow and ice.

Speaking of which, we have some today, over an inch so far. The Pierce County Crochet meeting was today, and I was thankful it ended early enough that I was able to drive home before it got dark. I would ordinarily go to that meeting with Dianne, but she and Margaret had one of their annual craft fairs today. Before the meeting, I stopped at JoAnn's in Tacoma and bought my first knitting loom, the small 10" rectangular variety, along with a small instruction/pattern booklet. Crochet will always be my passion and love, and needle knitting never will be even if I ever learn the basics. But looming is something I wanted to try since reading about it in a Crafter's Choice ad last month. I don't know if I will try it this month or keep plugging away at rewriting my recipes on the 4 x 6" cards and scanning them all on my nifty new Canon MP160 printer/scanner. But I'll report here on how it went after I do try it! The round loom is supposed to be a bit more versatile, but it recommends bulky yarn or 2 strands worked together, and I don't like working with something that bulky. So I thought I would start with the small rectangle loom that calls for standard worsted weight yarn, the weight of all my favorite yarns.

I also need to report that a few weeks ago, I got two sampler ghans assembled that I've wanted to get done for months. The first one consists of 20 12-inch squares arranged 4 x 5 squares, in various shades of burgundy, greens and beige/cream. Four or five were made by me and the others were obtained in online exchanges. The second is my magnificent "friends and family" ghan consisting of 56 8" squares that are all made from the following three yarns: Bernat Berella in soft peach and soft forest (a dusty pale green) and Bernat Mardi Gras in (dark) green. 16 of the squares were made by me and the other 40 were made by Dianne; her daughters Becky, Lisa and April; her mom Margaret and April's friend Shiloh. We each selected the yarn(s) we wanted and each of us made 6 or 7 squares for each of the others. My ghan is very beautiful and is being displayed in our living room. I plan to take pics of it as soon as I learn to use my new Nikon Coolpix digital camera, which I plan to do before the end of this year.

Another reason I have not made more progress on my weight loss the past few weeks does have to do with my cravings. When we had our housewarming, I was reintroduced to the combination of salty, crunchy pretzels or Triscuits combined with creamy, tangy dip. The combination, when that readily available, is too hard for me to resist. I've also eaten the whole dang box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese in one evening a couple of times, which is ridiculous and I know better. I've only done it a couple of times because I absolutely have NO intention to undo the good I have done, with 19 pounds gone so far - which, while not outstanding for four months, is still forward progress. Yet, I need to do almost twice as well in the coming months in order to meet my original goal. That may not happen, especially with winter coming. But as long as I continue to go forward, even slowly, and not gain in December with all the goodies that abound, then I need to not beat myself up if I haven't reached my goal by April. It's not impossible, but I need to get back on track in short order. Hopefully I can report next time I post here that this will be the case.

My Housewarming, and Three New Things I Love

2007-10-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't gotten around to posting to my new blog lately, so thought I would now even though it's 11:48 p.m. and I'm getting sleepy. I just had a rare 3-day weekend and don't want it to end, even though it pretty much has ended. It doesn't feel like I had a 3-day weekend, since I was busy preparing for our looooong-awaited housewarming yesterday on the 13th, then actually had the housewarming, and spent today pretty much wiped out and trying to recover. (I also worked hard to complete my peach "sand dollar" ghan before people came over; it turned out beautifully and I hope to have a pic of it on my site soon.) I also haven't walked long-distance since Thursday all weekend, which is the first time since the end of July I missed walking for more than one day. And I've been snacking on dip, chips and crackers left over from the housewarming, as the relatively few people who came didn't eat much. So I will be surprised if I lost any weight at all this past week when I get weighed in tomorrow night at TOPS. I most likely will have a small gain. As of last Mon., had lost around 16 pounds, and fully plan to continue to press forward and get this weight OFF. So this is just a small temporary setback. (I don't want to say much about work on a public online blog, but it's been especially stressful the past two weeks, which didn't help the urge to munch this weekend.....) Everyone who did come loved our home and was very happy for us that we finally have a nice place to live in (now to pay for it in our lifetime!).

Three things I love that I've wanted to mention here -- one being very new, one being a couple years old, and one being more like 14 years old, but all being new to ME. I'll start with the one I discovered first, a few weeks ago. We have Showtime and The Movie Channel on our cable system, at least till the end of the year, on a 3-month trial. I doubt we will renew them; too expensive, but it's been fun having the extra selection of movies. I had never seen "Elizabethtown" before (we have Netflix but somehow missed renting this one) and now have watched it each time Showtime has repeated it the past few weeks. It is the story of a young man who experiences a monumental job failure followed by a family tragedy, and has a chance encounter with a young woman who is unphased by both. It is a touching combination of family reunion, romance, travelogue, and just the right timing altering a situation that seemed hopeless. It has become my 2nd favorite movie of this decade, topped only by "The Majestic" and, as with that movie, I will never tire of it.

The next delightful surprise was being sent a complimentary issue that I did not request of Cooks Illustrated magazine. I looked at it and it was SO skinny (only about 32 pages) and I thought, what the heck! Well, it contains NO ads whatsoever and to my amazement, unlike every other magazine where I rip out certain stories or items I want to keep and toss the rest, this entire little skinny magazine is a keeper. NO filler whatsoever; everything in it is valuable. Each issue is literally like a little mini-cooking encyclopedia! They take classic dishes anyone would want to make such as lasagna, peach cobbler, etc. and explain to you in plain English what ingredients and techniques you need to use to make the recipe great and WHY these ingredients and techniques make the difference. It also contains Consumer Reports types of articles where they compare different implements, ingredients, etc. and tell you which is the best and WHY. For instance, in this issue they compared baking pans and explained why a $9 pan is vastly superior to a $95 pan! I told my hubby about my amazement with this magazine. He was already familiar with it and had just acquired a 5-year supply someone was giving away on Freecycle! I have not had a chance to look through them yet but sure look forward to doing so. I just found out this weekend that this little gem of a magazine actually originated in '93, since I acquired the first-ever issue on eBay today! Am amazed no one bid against me, but it could be most other people also haven't discovered it. Hopefully more people will, because it just doesn't compare to any other cooking magazine.

The last new thing I love is a TV show that just premiered on ABC less than two weeks ago. I may not have watched it except that I saw one of its stars discussing it with Jay Leno the night before and was intrigued. I can usually tell with new network shows in the first few minutes if I want to keep watching it or not. This one started out in an unexpected manner, with a British man narrating in the background as if it were a fairytale. It was just weird enough to keep me tuned in to see how it would progress. It didn't take long before I realized I was hooked. "Pushing Daisies" is original, innovative, funny, entertaining, offbeat, whimsical, unexpected, addictive, and delightful. The lead character, Ned (a piemaker who works in a pie-shaped diner called "The Pie Hole"), discovered as a child that he has a special power whereby if he touches a "dead thing" (person or animal), it becomes alive, BUT if he touches it again, it stays dead forever. Also, if he keeps something alive for more than a minute, someone else in close proximity dies instead. 20 years later, he discovered his childhood sweetheart, Charlotte Charles ("Chuck") had been murdered. He seeks her out and brings her back to life. They are now in love and always together, but they can never touch or she will die. They use his special power to solve crimes by his bringing a murdered person back to life and asking who killed them. But because he only has a minute before making them dead again, it is never enough to get any more than a cryptic clue. And it all takes place with the British man narrating in the background. It is just so funny, different and entertaining. I just love it and hope it will get the attention it deserves to stick around!

Well, I need to log off for now and reluctantly bring my weekend to an end, but wanted to first share these three new unexpected pleasures!

Sloooooow Progress, But Progress......

2007-08-29T23:53:00.000-07:00

I had mentioned last time how discouraging it was to have gone to TOPS a couple weeks ago and had their scale show no weight change, when my home scale clearly showed otherwise. But the following week, a week ago Monday, made up for it. This time it showed a loss of 3.75 pounds and I was tied for top loss of the week in the chapter! I sure wasn't expecting that. I got a basket with goodies such as 3 mini-bags of popcorn, 2 servings of Crystal Light, a can of tuna, 2 pieces of fruit and some change (you don't keep the basket, just what's in it). This week, I only lost a half-pound, which was disappointing considering I have literally been walking an extra 3 to 4 miles every day, including weekend days. But Rex did grill mushroom and swiss burgers one day, which are incredible but not exactly low-cal, and Dianne and I were together over the weekend and had a big appetizer platter at Applebee's for lunch on Sat.; not exactly low-cal either. So, though I have been doing good, I need to do even better. Rex has been very encouraging about all the walking I have been doing, and I WILL at long last lose this weight not just for myself and my health but for him; he's in great shape for, ahem, his age, and it's not fair that he should have had this sluggish tub of a wife all these years. I WILL have progress every week, and NOT just a half-pound!! He bought me some fruit (plums, nectarines and peaches); now the next trick is that I need to actually start eating it! Am SO bad about eating fruits and veggies.....

A week ago at work, Justin the IT guy walked in the door and startled me just as I was walking out of the kitchen with my yummy chicken-fried steak entree with potatoes and corn (which, I also used to have an English muffin with cheese along with it, oink, but no more). I dropped my yummy entree on the rug, which was bad enough since all I had to eat was a Zone bar and sunflower seeds, but some of the gravy dropped on my left ring finger and burned it (as in a second-degree burn). I hoped it would heal without the blister breaking, but it did break. So it's going to be quite visible for some time and take quite awhile to heal!

Have completed 87 rows of the green/teal/taupe ghan; it's going to have 140 to 144 rows depending on when a couple of the colors run out. The "sand dollar" soft peach ghan, I have 10 motifs done so far (worked on it a bit at Dianne's; the other ghan was getting too big to bring there to work on) so it's getting bulky to fit in my purse, but I can still work on one motif at a time on my commute up to the part of the last row where it gets joined. So I'll do that for awhile before starting the next small take-along project (possibly the spiderweb runner I want to make for my dresser). Speaking of spiders, a HUGE one was walking across the rug yesterday right by Rex's foot; I yelled and he stomped on it, ewwwww!! I keep telling him not to leave the danged front door wide open and risk letting in every insect in the neighborhood! I already lost count of how many dead bugs I've had to clean off the windowsills!

Haven't been to church now for three Sundays in a row, which I'm not happy about. The first two were mainly due to oversleeping because of having been so crazy-busy at work, which I realize is not a good excuse. This past Sunday, I did have a good excuse. I was staying over at Dianne's, and 15 minutes before I left, her mom called and was distraught due to tremors she was having, which in turn made Dianne distraught. So I went with her to mom's townhouse and prayed with her and mom and spent time with both of them. On one hand I felt I needed to go to church, but on the other hand I know this was more important.

Well, this Saturday was SUPPOSED to be our housewarming, but I realized a couple weeks ago we would not be ready. So I talked to Dianne about what Saturdays in Sept. or early Oct. would work for her. Sept. 22 won't work since she is getting together with a couple of high school friends, one of whom she hasn't seen for 40 years (!). Sept. 29 would have worked for her but not for me, since my employer is putting on THREE seminars the day before, so all the managers will be out and I couldn't have the day before off to prepare. Oct. 6 is her eldest daughter's birthday. Sooooo......I didn't want to go into mid-October, but Oct. 13 seems like it will work for both of us and give (I hope!) hubby adequate time to get the dogs' fencing repositioned to the side door/porch and get everything inside assembled, hung, etc. And the days still won't be too short or the weather too cold, and it's not too close to the holidays. So Oct. 13 it is, and I'm not moving it again! I requested the 12th as a vaca day to prepare, and I'm still taking off this Friday, which I originally scheduled when I thought the housewarming would be this Sat. Work has continued to be crazy and I NEED a day off! Looking very much forward to the upcoming 4-day weekend! And now it's 12:21 so I NEED to end this and go to bed!

More Hours in My Day, Please!

2007-08-16T18:54:00.000-07:00

Well....I went to my second meeting on Monday at the TOPS Chapter I originally planned to join. I really do like it; the ladies are really nice, and I do think I should join. I was going to on Monday; I'd already filled out all the paperwork, and they gave me my membership binder. But I didn't turn in my dues yet since I am still so stunned by my weigh-in. I started walking from the park n'ride to the ferry dock and back most days at the end of last month, which totals about an extra 3 miles walking each weekday. The walk in the morning is relaxing (and getting up 1/2 hour earlier has been surprisingly doable) while the walk in the evening -- when I am tired, hungry, the sun is beating down on me, and there is an ever-so-slight upward incline -- is exhausting (especially a day like yesterday when it was in the mid 80s; today went better). But I vowed to do it each day I possibly can. I also have definitely cut back on my portions and snacking. I knew I had lost about 2 pounds, based on our new digital bathroom scale. But to my shock, their scale showed no change (a "turtle" in TOPS lingo). How does a person weigh themself on the same scale, with the same amount of clothes (or lack thereof) at the same time of day, and one shows a loss and one doesn't?? Makes no sense, and it was very discouraging for their scale to lie and show me no encouragement for how good I've been. I totally plan to keep on keeping on and do even more than I have been. At the same time, part of the reason one goes to TOPS is to receive recognition for what they have done right. But I'll go back this Monday and see what happens. I had even taken a 3-mile round trip walk last Sun. afternoon, and it's unheard of for me to do that on a Sunday. I really do like walking. But when the days get short and the weather gets wet and blustery, sadly just a couple months away now, I will need to shift my walking to my Nordic Track Walkfit for the next several months....

I just found out this afternoom that the lady my employer hired to handle the hotels and the conference sponsorships, who has been having health issues and has only been at work about half the time lately (if that), was advised to resign by her doctor. We have been very shorthanded as it is, with one of the Program Directors on maternity leave and not scheduled to return till late next month. A young woman had been hired to take over her work and didn't give the job a chance; she lasted two whole weeks. (Then she had the nerve to expect reimbursement for the bus/ferry pass my boss agreed to pay for when she was an employee.) Now my boss is on vacation this week, and the owner (his mom) is about to go on vaca. She and the office manager were running a seminar today and again tomorrow, leaving just the office assistant and me. I am trying to confirm the last few speakers for several conferences that are not going to get done on time (for marketing purposes), meaning none of us will get the extra on-time bonus for those, and dealing with two program chairs who are acting like primadonnas. I am doing my best and my bosses totally know that, but I hate missing those bonuses. But what can I do; we can't twist peoples' arms to join our faculty or doubt them when they say they have a conflict. I am also trying to get mini-bios written for several upcoming brochures, get the proper accreditations sent in for each, call speakers to find out when they are sending their materials for the course books, and somehow answer calls from people registering or asking questions, which the assistant usually does, but he has to watch the live feed from the current conference and handle issues regarding that. I do like my job and am treated well, which is a nice switch from other places I have worked, but this is one of those weeks I wish I could clone myself!

I just signed up with a new web host tonight for my site evergreenrefuge.org (and likely my church site olallabiblechurch.com as well), and I am already blown away by their service. I have been pretty much satisfied with 2mhost.com, the host I've used the past four years. Their uptime and customer service has been very good. But they are in Egypt, of all places, and sometimes there's been a bit of a language barrier when I've had questions. I also decided I wanted a Christian web host. And I wanted one that had the ability to host more than one site on one account, so I could consider moving the church site there too. After much online searching I found a small host called hostingtruth.net and was impressed with their prices and features. But I was even more impressed to receive prompt, courteous and understandable answers from the owner (!!!), Scott, at all hours of the day or evening!! I got my complete instructions on accessing my new file manager less than an hour after signing up! WOW!! I can already say I highly recommend hostingtruth.net, and likely wll have even more glowing things to say once I've had the pleasure of using their service!!

I was very glad to finally finish my pretty peach afghan with the burgundy popcorn flowers and green leaves (wove in the last of about 380 ends Sunday, yuk -- I think that's the last time I pick a pattern with that many ends to weave in). It came out really pretty. But it is still in a plastic bag on our new couch; I'm afraid to display it lest the dogs (especially Heidi) mistake it for a chew toy. So will have to decide what to do about that! Picture coming when I ever decide what to do about my camera situation! On the new ghan I started in the Fanfare stitch, which was supposed to be soft green, soft peach, deep teal and soft taupe, I ended up ripping out about 30 rows since I decided the peach (while beautiful on its own or with the soft green) clashed with the deep teal and the taupe. So now this ghan will be soft green, deep sea green, deep teal and soft taupe. I hated to rip all that out, but I like this combo much better, and plan to make a solid color ghan (likely the Sand Dollar join-as-you -go hexagons pattern) using the peach! Wel, enough of this gab for now and on to trying out my new web host!!

This and That

2007-08-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

Well...I have had all positive responses to my short haircut. But I don't think I want to keep it this short. And the bad part about that is, it's going to be awkward to grow out. Well, if it starts looking really weird in the process, I'll have Valisa even it out. She did do a nice job; she always does. It doesn't look anywhere as full on the sides as the girl in the picture, but that's due to my fine-textured hair and not how she cut it. I'm not going to have a picture taken of me with this cut, what with being at my all-time high weight (well, about the same as the more recent pics on my site, but that's bad enough...). It's easy to take care of and will feel good in whatever remaining very warm days we have this season, but I prefer it chin length. This cut just feels too extreme. I always wanted it long, but don't see that ever happening, since I can't do anything with it when it gets past shoulder length.

On Monday I got a good idea for getting in a lot of extra walking before Rex gets my Nordic Track Walkfit ready to go (and while the weather is warm and the days are still long). I told him that night, "Tomorrow's the 31st, so don't buy my Kitsap Transit pass (to get the mile and a half from the park n'ride to the ferry dock. I'll get up a half-hour earlier and walk from there to the dock in the mornings, and walk most evenings unless I have somewhere to go or the weather's too warm." He thought it was a great idea and will also save us the $31.50 for the monthly pass (which. with the mortgage we have now, every cent counts). Even on days I need to take the bus in the evening and pay the $1.25, that won't be more than a few times a month. So I've done the walk the last three mornings and really enjoyed it. I allow myself plenty of time and the weather is so pleasant and cool that time of day. In the evening with the sun beating down on me, the walk is a lot harder. It got to 85 today so I took the bus today (but they still take the previous month's pass till the 5th!).

I went to the TOPS meeting last night. The people were very nice. But it just didn't feel right. I can't put my finger on why. But I felt I wanted to try at least one of the other local chapters that have evening meetings before deciding which to join. I contacted the Area Coordinator and told her the number given for the chapter I originally wanted to try (which is a bit closer and easier to get to) was out of service. She gave me the correct number and assured me that the chapter does exist. They meet on Mondays, so I will go there this coming Monday. I don't know if I have lost very much weight yet, but I plan to continue to be very careful with my portion control and continue the walking, which I can already feel in my legs. I pray I start seeing some results before too long, because I just can't stand to look at myself any more. I need to lose about 55 pounds to get to my goal. I WILL do it this time; I have to. Not just for my health and for Rex and others that care for me, but for my self-esteem. This has gone on waaaaaay, waaaaaaaaaaaay too long...

I have all 63 squares of my peach ghan with the burgundy flowers and green leaves completed and joined, and am working on the edging tonight. Then I will have about 380 ends to weave in, YUK! I always leave the ends till last; too much stopping and starting otherwise. So I'll chip away at that over the weekend. I also started another ghan today to carry along on my commute till it gets too big. It will alternate soft green, soft peach, deep teal and soft taupe (Bernat Berella) in the "Fanfare" stitch from my wonderful out-of-print "Adventures in Crocheting" book.

I'm concerned about (my best friend) Dianne's adorable little dog (a chihuahua/pom that looks like a chihuahua with a mask), Josh, age 7, who has been acting depressed and cries when she has to go out, which he never used to do. I urged her to see the vet today and she did. Will be anxious to hear what the vet has to say. I pray it's something that can be remedied quickly so the "pocket pooch", as I call him, will be his old self. She is SO attached to him...

I have some furniture news, but I will post about that in a few days on my other (home chronicle) blog that I'll be wrapping up soon! Back to my edging...

Welcome to my New Blog!

2007-07-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been wanting to start a new "general purpose" blog for some time. I was originally going to have my blog at one of several Christian alternatives to MySpace, but I already have several online groups I belong to and not really time to devote to the extras that come with the networking sites. So I decided to go with just a blog. I created my home planning chronicle blog at blogger.com but also looked at other blog hosts, but decided to stay with blogger (blogspot). There is a way to move one's blog to one's own site and maintain it there, so when I have time (ha ha), I will look into that...

My aforementioned home planning chronicle (which I used to think I would never have a home to chronicle) is at evergreenrefuge.blogspot.com. Now that I FINALLY am in my home after all these years (thank you, Lord), I will be wrapping up that blog after posting a few updated pictures (which has been delayed due to trying to determine whether I can get a camera I already have to do the job or have to buy another) but keep that one available for myself and others to read. I wanted a new blog to just report on everyday life as time permits, report on what I am currently crocheting, and, God willing, report on my weight loss which I MUST do something about instead of just talking about it. Hearing on Friday that my husband (8 years older and 3 inches taller than me) weighs 10 pounds less than me, though I wasn't surprised, was a wake-up call of sorts. Then that night, the lightbulb went on over my head and said, "rejoin TOPS". I did make some progress when I went there weekly several years ago, due to the accountability factor and the possibility of winning prizes, and just being around others who are likewise fighting the battle (have tried online lists but it's not the same thing). Had a nice conversation that night with a lady who heads up one of the local chapters and will be expecting me Wed. evening. Will report back on how that goes.

The only other current news, besides the pretty "keeper" afghan I'm currently working on (burgundy popcorn flowers with green leaves inside peach join as you go squares; there are 7 x 9 = 63 squares) is that I had Valisa cut my hair shorter yesterday than I've worn it in years (the home page pic depicts my usual length). I just felt it was time for a change. The pic I brought her is on hairdos.com, click on "ultra short" (though I don't really feel it's ULTRA short), first page, #1347. I don't know that it looks as good on the girl in the pic as on me, but we'll see what people at church and work think. Rex doesn't dislike it! Well, back to my crocheting!